Is Mah Blog

Is just a blog. Whatever happens to spew from my mind at the time will wind up on this blog in one way or another.

Stuff kind of started to look up for me yesterday, but I'm starting to feel a mild fall again. I took a chemistry test yesterday, and I think I passed, which is the best damn news I've heard in ages. No, really. You don't understand. This is HUGE stuff.

But, we did a lab experiment today, and we're going to continue it tomorrow. Which is bad, because I hardly know what I'm doing. My teacher...*sigh* It's like he's speaking a different language. And it doesn't help that I'm drowning in all the homework he's giving us, and I know a test is right around the corner. I'm really reaching a breaking point.

You know? I really should have taken Biology II. I could really have used the anatomy study. But no. I'm a dumbass, and I signed up for Chem. I really dislike myself right now. Why? Why didn't I suck it up and sign up for Bio? Because I didn't want to disect a cat? Oh, whatever. My diploma's at stake! I'm such a moron sometimes. Sucks.

I still haven't drawn anything new. It makes me wonder if I'm going to be able to handle the Secret Santa thing. Oh well. It's not going to stop me from trying.

It feels like I don't know anything at all right now. Particularly art-wise. Like, yeah, I can draw. But I'm not at the level of expertise I want to be at and it feels like I'll never get there at the rate I'm going. I've read books, I've been to websites, and I've asked my cousin (who draws WAY better than I do) for help, but I'm still not going anywhere. Am I missing something? Is there some big art secret that I'm not being let in on? It wouldn't surprise me. Nobody tells me anything.

I think I sleep too much. I don't get it. I go to bed early an wake up late - I shouldn't be doing that. And my head's always in a fog. It's like everything around me is squishing my head, and I feel like I'm going to cave in. Which ALSO sucks.

I forgot what else I was going to say. So I guess I'll go for now.

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