Is Mah Blog

Is just a blog. Whatever happens to spew from my mind at the time will wind up on this blog in one way or another.

I really...really have nothing to talk about that I probably haven't said a bloody million times before. But I'm bored, and tired, and depressed, and feeling like complaining about something, so bear with me.

I started my new semester last Thursday, which means new classes. So far, they're all pretty great. Even having two math classes isn't as bad as my Chemistry class. I can't say I really hate any of my classes yet. Even Algebra is tolerable. Bizarre, right?

The conceit of the school's seniors, however, is kind of getting on my nerves. They try to force onto us the notion that everything they do is worth merit. But, I suppose, they are graduating this year. They've pretty much earned the right, I guess. And I'll probably be like that next year, so I guess I won't say too much about that. That, and I really don't feel like it.

I'm getting really tired all the time. And I'm always kind of feeling down. And I'm feeling kind of lonely, too. It sucks, and there's no 'kind of' about that.

We had a really stupid assembly on Friday. Our superintendant is trying to force the idea that engineering is the best career to have in the whole wide world onto us. We had this all-engineering schools college fair, and he made us write a one-to-two paragraph essay on what we thought about it and stuff. Well, I wrote an essay he won't soon forget. And it was more than two paragraphs. Unfortunately for him, it took two and a half pages to get across what I wanted to say. I don't freaking care. It made me mad. If I remember, I'll post it in my writing. I kept a copy of it, because I really liked it. It turned out to be kind of funny. Hell, maybe the superintendant will have a sense of humor, and commemorate me on it or something. Or he could be a big freaking stiff like the rest of the staff and try to have me expelled or something. Once again, I don't really care.

I haven't been really drawing a lot, or writing a lot. It isn't so much a lack of time, more of a lack of inspiration, or even a lack of will. Even my roleplaying's kind of going down the drain. I've been writing like a cheesy fanfiction writer, and it's kind of bringing me down even more. I've been trying to read more (which usually boosts my creativity) but that hasn't been working too hot, either. It bites.

God, I feel really weird. Have you ever felt lonely, and just wanted to have someone to be there for you, but at the same time you just wanted the world to leave you the hell alone? Hm. Maybe it's just because the people I'm usually surrounded by...I can't be too serious with them. I can't bitch or whine as much as I'd like to, because they don't want to hear it. And I don't blame them - they have their own problems. Ones way worse than mine. But that just makes me more depressed, because I feel like such an ass for being all hung up on myself when everyone around me's suffering, or something. I feel like a bad friend, a bad writer, just a bad everything.

And to make things worse, I'm stuck here in the library until my mom remembers that I'm here, and comes to pick me up. Which will probably be in another hour. Or two. I think I'm gonna go crazy. I just wanna go to bed.

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