Chaotic Nation : Page 47

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Practice your inking skills and develop positive drawing habits for 30 XP per drawing. Inktober. Oct 1 - 31

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OK, I read all of the comic. Your artwork is lovely, and bordering on professional. The plot about dead "old world" enticed me (I have used it myself on a few occasions) so I'll applaud you on that as well. And it's sometimes so rare to see an online comic with backgrounds.

Character wise I found myself at first irritated by the titular protagonists. Taron I didn't find myself enjoying very much- though I understand that perhaps you intended him to come off as somewhat of a comedic charming rogue. "Sounds like something with medium sized breasts" was just so crass, and while characters do have weaknesses, the girl was screaming when they heard her. Just seemed inappropriate to the situation.

And Taron, from what I have seen so far (though it may change) seems to be there to make Areitus look even better as a character. His kindness feels very forced in some of the pages, or perhaps it just seemed strange because the two are so wildly different from one another.

Your title says "one mage to save the world" or something similar, and while I disliked Taron's character I am somewhat fearing for his role in the story. Will he just exist to make Areitus look good, have very little role in the final battle, and have an occasional bout of angst?

I can accept that the comic is just starting, but first impressions are important as well. I also understand that you probably have already written out this plot, and have no room for changing it. I still think this criticism will be useful though, in the future.

My friend once gave me a character tip to make people more human: Give all your major characters at least one flaw that is not always endearing. People can be monstrous. Taron fits the bill for said flaw, but good story telling allows the audience to sympathize or at least be fascinated by the character enough to latch onto them. As for Areitus, I think if he is all kindness and no vices he will be difficult to see as a believable person.

I'm looking forward to the future chapters, though, because I want my assumptions to be proven wrong. I don't call this a perfect critique by far; I am only taking account of what I have seen up to the current page, and don't know much yet about the characters. If this critique is not exactly what you are looking for you are free to set it aside.

Whoa, this is kind of on the long side. My apologies.

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