major flaming rant...

That's a total invasion of privacy. I can't believe she'd do that. That's nasty taking your sheets and using them. This whole thing is wrong on so many levels. Some friend she is. Get the lock!

I have to go ask the landlord if i can put a lock on my door. But i think i'll do it...i now know that i can't trust her. She'll keep going into my stuff because she can't tolerate that there's a territory in the apartment that's not hers. I hate being this angry...i've been mad all week-end.

Lil, that's wrong! Me and my sister take eachother's clothes ALL the time but we always ask and when we return them, they come back to the other washed, dried and folded.

I don't understand why she would even take your coat unless she did't have one. And then it's still wrong if she didn't ask you or you said no. It's YOUR coat that YOU paid for and if you want to get into the nitty-gritty of it, she was stealing. You really should talk to the person who owns the house you two life in and see about a lock. Who knows, you may wake up one day to find she needed money the night before and your wallet is missing.

That goes way over the bounds of friendship, love.  I have to agree that you should explain your situation to the landlord and ask for that lock.  When you're out of there, it's easy enough to remove the lock and put filler in the door anyway - it's a lot harder to replace your personal living space.

I feel for you, sweetheart.  Perhaps that's why I never got a room mate when I moved out...

Thanks for your replies guys. Today, i've moved all my stuff in my room. Everything that we didn't put in common is now in my room and tomorrow i'm calling my landlord.

There's something i want to say, i realised i was so angry when i typed the rant that i've said something that i consider wrong. Her lover who's 50 is not a pedophile, he looks like the kind of uncle that wants you to come sit on his lap, if you get what i mean but he's not a pedophile because he's way older than her, I didn't want to say that big age difference between 2 people is wrong. Edit done, sorry if i offended some people here, i was too angry to noticed this morning.

You don't need to ask the landlord to change the doornob to a lockable one or putting a latch with a pad lock on the outside. It's like putting up a picture... DO IT! Can be removed and puttied and all done later.

That is WRONG and so TOTALLY DISRESPECTIFUL I'd give 30 days notice and move and tell the landlord the reasons, give HIM the final month's pay and notice and say buh-bye

she can move her old dude in then and be done with it,

I'd also consider seeing if the landlord will let you move into another apartment with someone else.  Even with a lock, things are going to be hell if you are having an icy relationship with who you are living with.

Yeah Qcvar brings up a good point. If possible, see if you can switch roomies.

I've done some major meditation to try an control my anger toward her EBS. I've been having my migraines again because of her...I usually tell myself it will be soon over, but last friday when i had to freeze because she took my coat, i realized i couldn't take it anymore. Its gonna be so hard from now on...i cant stand her anymore. Be strong girl, be strong.

 The more i think about it, the more its power over me she wants. I dont want her in my room, she keeps going in. I dont want her taking my stuff, says ok in my face but keep doing it in my back. She can't tolerate me having my place with my stuff, so she keeps invading my privacy. (sigh)

The place i'm living is a triplex or a three apartement building. So i cant move in with another person and to tell the truth, i think i'll never move with someone else again. When i was in university i couldn't afford to live alone, but now i'm working, i'll be having my own place soon. Me and 'her' signed a contract (i dont know the name of that rent contract in english) and it ends in june. The landlord already knows i wont be signing it for another year but if he doesn't find someone else to move in, i can't leave. But maybe if i tell him the hell i'm living he'll understand and allow me to leave sooner. Its worth a try. About the lock, you're right Fablespinner, i'll just put one on and that be that!

Thank you so much, your support bring tears to my eyes.

OMG, Lilli!  I can not believe that girl!  Who does she think she is?  That's absolutely horrible!  She is obviously depraved and has no regard for other people's possessions, life, privacy, comfort, or anything else.  I can't believe how selfish she is!  I have no idea how you've put up with it for so long!

Put the lock on the door as soon as you possibly can.  Man, if I were you, I might consider legal action.  She's pretty much stealing from you.  I understand that you probably don't want to go that far, but this girl is absolutely insane.  There's no excuse for that.  I think you need to set some limits and a lock will make those limits very clear to her, or it should if she has half a brain...which is in question.

Be careful, she's ruining your health and that is completely not okay.  It really might be worth talking to the landlord and seeing if there is anything at all you can do.  You poor thing! 

I will send positive thoughts your way and hope that you find some kind of resolution, Babe.  I hope your migraines get better!  I've actually been thinking of you as a role model for my own.  I've been trying to meditate and find piece of mind in difficult situations, but Man!  is it tough sometimes!

Anyway, chin up, Love.  We all love you here and we will support you in anyway we can!  Please keep us informed.  If nothing else, I will hope that time passes quickly for you and without any more major incidents.  I think worse case senario with the lock is that you have to change it back when you move out, no big deal.

Love ya!

GET THAT LOCK!GET THAT LOCK!GET THAT LOCK!!!!!

Get that lock or switch rooms! Gosh,how did you keep it to yourselve?THAT`S ALMOST STEALING!!!! Oh,if i were you,I`d give her a piece of my mind!Or just try to give her her own medicine-go and take her stuff! I don`t think she`d like it! Damn girl,you should have done it long time ago,I mean about the lock.. I have never tought that there were people like this! I feel for you!Do something and do it quick! And for the mean time,put a big sign:"Keep out or get your *censored* kicked"

Be strong dear! My love to you!

Oh get that lock, get it I say! I can't believe that a person would invade your private space and is doing all these bitchy things .I really feel for you, I hope you can figure out something to do with that B%!?%!!

Thank you so much for all your support. You all brought tears to my eyes. I realized all this made me really fragile these days and that i let her get to me too much. I'm taking back the calm control i've always had.

She wrote me an e-mail, turning it all against me. She forgot all the things she did to me but highlighted the bad Lili i am. Its my fault she took my stuff! SHE sense bad energy...*scoff*. Just to tell you how much she's completely  wacko, she told me my body language around one of her important lover, prove i dont like him( and what that has to do with anything?). I saw him all in all...1 hour and we were sitting in a car, the first time i met him! Yeah my body language...pfff

I'm meeting her tonight. I didn't want to exchange letters...its ridiculous. So i'll be talking to her again...so i might be able to leave this apartement sooner than i thought.

I'll keep you guys posted...

 

Jeez, I would have dumped her sorry bum out the window I'm surprised you remained so calm as long as you did.

But as everyone's been saying, get that lock!  Get a whole bunch of locks!  Barracade your door!  And set up traps. I always used to set traps in my room when I was little.  I was very territorial as a kid, you see.

You may want to consider legal action, too.  I mean, technically she is stealing.  And the whole sheet thing...gross.

Talk to your landlord, too.  I'm sure s/he can help out somehow.  Maybe s/he can threaten to throw your roomate out or something nifty like that.   Anyway, good luck trying to tame the rabid roomate. 

P.S.

If you want, you can give me her e-mail address and I can give her a good scare.   She'd never go near your room again, believe me, and I'd be more than willing to lend a friendly hand.

Sheez!  She is certifiably insane!  Please let us know how your talk goes.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.  My intuition tells me that she probably can't be reasoned with, so I hope I'm wrong!  Good Luck, Lady!

Phew, done! Nan i won't give you her e-mail Dollmaker, i myself thought of plenty of bad things i could do to her. But in the end, its just bad Karma, all the bad you do returns to you. Or so i say...Life will punish her soon enough.

I was surprise i have to say. She was as red as a tomato and couldn't look me in the eyes. She admited of coming in my room, of keeping taking my stuff, as i already suspected and knew. She said that she has huge problems respecting the bounderies of others and since i'm too indulgent and nice she took advantage of me. The e-mail she sent me , she told me she was angry because i had move all my stuff in my room. Since i had taken her by surprise by my actions,she had to retaliate and have the last word. She said her e-mail was bull, and that i had every right to be angry. And i told her, just how deeply i had been. I emptied my guts and god, it felt and feels so good. Headaches gone, so is tummy ache...

But i still bought the lock mind you. I know she has a degree in manipulation, and i suspect she feels bad only because she has been unmasked. But still...i do have to live with her till end of June, the landlord refuses to break the contract. Its his right. There's nothing i can do in this departement. So i put a lock on my door and we will try to 'live' together. At least i know i have my bubble back.