Who's Right, Who's Wrong

Hi Everyone,

I need a little advice.  This afternoon my dogs were playing in the back yard as usual.  We recently got new neighbors who have been nothing but mean to us since they moved in.  I'll give you examples in a second.  Now I have 2 dogs (you can look at their sweet cute pics that I've posted).  One is unable to bark, he physically can't due to his breed type.  The other, however, makes up for it and is very barky.  I'll admit openly that I have been lax in discipline because no one has really complained.  When I ask, people tell me, every dog in the neighborhood barks, why should yours not be allowed to?  So I've blown it off and not worried about it.  Today, my neighbor's daughter was playing in their yard, there is a 6 foot fence separating the 2, so my dog could in no way get to her, but she wanted to play.  It didn't help that the girl was climbing a tree and talking to my dog, but anyway, my dog was barking up a storm.  The neighbor decided that it was his duty to take care of the problem and hose her with his garden hose.  I didn't see this happen, I only say my dog all wet.  I know it sounds stupid, but I didn't think much of it.  I figured there were sprinklers going on somewhere or she had found water or something else had happened.  Later, I walk outside again and my neighbor is leaning over the fence and I saw him hit my dog.  The first words out of his mouth are, "I'm not hitting your dog, but she's driving us nuts with the barking.  I was just trying to scare her."  (You can tell how brilliant the guy is since dogs never ever play with sticks and she couldn't possibly have thought he was trying to play with her.) 

Anyway, I tell him this is not acceptable and he should have talked to me.  He grufly says, "Next time I will."  I yell at his retreating back that his actions are completely inappropriate.

Later, I'm out in the front yard watering my garden when he comes up and wants to apologize.  Now, I work with many agitated people and have witnessed too many violent take downs in my medical career and had too many hallucinating and otherwise psychologically disturbed patients try to hit me, so my first reaction is "agitated person, be careful."  I politely tell him that I am very angry and would like to talk to him at a later time (as in with my boyfriend with me and in a situation where people would be there if things got complicated).  He gets upset again and storms off.

I also got a note from the neighbors wanting to talk about the situation and they gave me their phone number to call.

Everyone I've talked to so far has told me I should have called the police because regardless of how noisy my dog was being, he had no right to intervene that way.  I have as of yet to file a report.  I have no idea if he was actually trying to hit my dog or if it was accidental, but I know I saw the stick connect with her.  She has no scrapes, scratches or injuries, so whatever he was doing, the intention was not to hurt or maim.

Should I file a report with the police?  Should I just call them and try to solve matters?  Both?  My bf is strongly in favor of filing a report.  He thinks that the man was completely outside his rights and acted in the most inappropriate way.  Why couldn't the neighbor call animal control or come over and ask me to bring the dogs outside if the barking was so disruptive?

Now onto the history of the neighbors.  They moved in about 3-4 months after we did.  Since then he has asked me to bring my dogs in during certain hours so his kid could nap.  To this I complied with except to let them out to potty before I leave for work.  A few weeks after this request, however, I hear loud music coming from his house.  So I think the kids outgrown naps and its okay for my dogs to play again.  I've also seen the kid playing during these hours, so I know she isn't napping.

Secondly, out cable line ran through their yard.  The previous owners of the house had no problem with this, but as soon as these new neighbors moved in, it was suddenly a huge issue.  Now in Colorado, where I live, it is perfectly legal for our cable line to run through their yard.  We are paying customers and have no personal control over where the cable company runs the line.  The company did eventually rig it so it was no longer in their yard, we didn't say a word of complaint even though it meant that our yard had to be dug up and as we are renters, we may have to pay for landscaping when we move out to replace any dead grass.

So what do you guys think?  Am I in the wrong for not being more considerate of the neighbors?  They've never actually complained about the barking except duing the hours that his kid was supposidly sleeping, so I had no idea that at other times it was offensive too.  No other neighbors have said a word to me and the neighborhood is full of dogs that bark, it's not just mine disturbing the quiet.  Are my neighbors wrong from physically taking action when they could have just talked to me or called the cops?

I'm really torn with this.  I really want to have a friendly relationship with all my neighbors.  My neighbors on the other side of us are very nice and even borrow dog food from us from time to time for their dogs.  Their dogs have even torn apart that part of the fence allowing my dogs to escape and we just quietly fix the fence and move on with life.

Should I file a formal complaint?  Should I talk to them?  I just don't know.  I don't want a nasty "let's call the cops on each other over every little thing" relationship.  I'd actually love to get along with them.  I almost feel like if they met my dogs, they'd fall in love with them too.  My dogs are sweet hearts who would never hurt anyone and everyone that meets them loves them.  Although, I don't think the neighbors are afraid of the dogs, just annoyed by them.  Any advice is welcome.

Thanks everyone!

What your neighbor did to your dog was outrageously wrong.  If I thought this was an isolated situation that would not happen again I would probably say let it slide without filing a police report and get on with life.  However, from your description of their behavior it seems to me it was not an isolated incident and they seem to have a consistent pattern of being a pain in the rear and not having the ability to rationally handle disagreements.  I would file a police complaint just so there is a record of there behavior so that if they cause any more trouble or grief in the future, like harming your dog, it can be used in court to demonstrate the pattern in their behavior.

The guy is a complete moron and had no right what so ever to hose your dog or ‘accidentally’ hit your dog with a stick on YOUR property. Would you have the right to hose his daughter off or try to scare her with a stick because she was encouraging your dog to bark, or if she happened to be loud? NO!

Just because you are a friendly and rational person who would like to get along with your neighbors, does not mean that these people share the same sentiments.  You can attempt to be friendly, but once you realize the unfriendly and irrational nature of people, the game changes.  You were as considerate as you could possible be by trying to keep your dogs in when the child was supposed to be napping (after the guy did not ask you before he hosed and “accidentally” hit your dog), but the fact is you have to let your dogs out to play sometime and you can’t always inconvenience yourself.

Your neighbor was totally in the wrong to hit your dog, and I think you should file the report.  Good luck with the nasty neighbors.

Absolutely and under no uncertain terms FILE THAT REPORT...
Not only did he break the law by striking your dog he also TRESPASSED on to your property to do so.

Strike 2

strike three, coming over to confront you alone
strike four storming off when you indicated you'd rather discuss this later


how many strikes are you gonna give him?

NONE, give an inch and they take a mile, stand up for your rights and only YOU can protect your dogs.

What's next?

Tossing posioned beef jerky over the fence?

Go to your landlord too and explain this guy to him so he's aware who is living next to his property.

O_o

Thank you guys so much for the advice.  I thought I'd give you a little update on what happened.  We did contact animal control and asked if there was anyway that we could simply document the incident without any investigation.  They were suprised when we told them what happened that we didn't want to press charges, but they reluctantly agreed to send us a form in the mail that we could write out the incident and it would simply be a record of events, no investigation, no interviews, no notification, nothing.

I did call my neighbor who apologized and agreed that their actions were unnecessary and completely wrong.  We agreed to find a solution to suit both parties.  I have reluctantly bought a muzzle which I plan to use only when she gets too crazy and only for a very very short period of time.  My hope is that after only a few minutes of wear, she will understand and it will be more of a threat then actually used.  This was a suggestion by other dog owners who had similar problems.  They said that after the dog wore it a couple of times for a very short period of time, all they had to do was take it out and the dog quieted down.  So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed.  I don't believe in muzzles, I think they're cruel, but I feel backed into a corner.  I've tried ignoring, reward and reprimand, and those bark collars that make a loud noise when the dog barks with no success, so this is kind of a last resort.

My neighbors also agreed to try talking to my dog and to come talk to me if the dog gets too loud instead of taking any action personally.  I assured them that I am always at home if the dogs are outside.  One of my dogs is an escape artists, who can't be trusted outside without supervision, so it's impossible for me to leave them outside if I'm not home.  I wouldn't do that anyway since the weather in Colorado can go from warm and sunny to cold and snowing in no time at all.

Overall, I feel satisfied with the results.  I am still distrustful of the neighbors and view them with caution and I feel they are loose cannons.  I was relieved to hear that they are not afraid of my dog and have no worries that she will be aggressive.  She does have a scary deep bark that sounds mean, but she's just trying to get attention and I don't believe she would ever harm anyone.

Thank you all for your support.  I'm ashamed to admit that I lost sleep over this incident.  I was seriously awake at 5:30 this morning because I couldn't stop thinking about what happened.  I kept seeing it over and over when I closed my eyes.  My dogs are seriously like my children.  I have no human children of my own, so this attack felt like the guy had hit my kid.  I love my dogs, they mean the world to me.  They have been with me through good and bad times and are the bright part of my day.  So this incident really shook me to my core and I needed to know I wasn't over-reacting.

Thank you all so much!  Please keep your fingers crossed that this will be the end of it all and that my dogs and I can live peacefully with our new neighbors!  Love you all!