I cleared my throat nervously, “Well, sir… I was eating these chilled peaches when he, Chris that is, came up behind me and poked me hard, right in my side. Well… I was so surprised that I chocked on a peach. For several seconds I was completely without air and he, in a misguided attempt to help, slapped me on the back. Well, at that moment (as I’m sure you remember) I was choking and the slap slammed my face into my spaghetti when I finally recovered I turned right around and slapped him, I don’t know whether I did it because of my understandable anger, shock at the abrupt change from contentedly eating my peaches and daydreaming to choking on the afore mentioned peaches covered in spaghetti, or simply the temporary lack of oxygen to my brain, but I did slap him, admittedly rather hard… well, after that things got out of control, and that, Mr. Principal, is how the food fight got started”