My Immortal - Chapter 1

I'm so tired of being here

Suppressed by all my childish fears

And if you have to leave

I wish that you would just leave

Because your presence still lingers here

And it won't leave me alone

Edward drew in a gasp when he heard Roy's piano start playing, but he didn't bother going into the ballroom. The piano would start to play everyday at 7:00 p.m.; the same time Roy would always play it.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

Ed sat on the floor next to the piano, Roy's piano, their piano. It had been playing for a while and still was as Ed looked at the photo album. Every other photo was of him and Roy, memories of happier times that sometimes Edward would rather forget if only to rid himself of the pain they caused. His vision blurred when tears began to well in his eyes, he couldn't hold them in at all anymore.

“Roy… stop. Please, just… stop playing.” Ed let out a sob, listening to how abruptly the piano stopped as soon as the words left his mouth.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

Edward wiped away his tears as he headed into the kitchen, going straight for the liquor cabinet. He reached in, randomly grabbed and gasped at what he pulled out. It was a bottle of whiskey, almost empty, not even enough for half a glass. Ed could've just opened and finished it off with a gulp, but instead smiled weakly as all the memories of Roy drinking from this very bottle as he cried and shook with fear from nightmares and memories of the war came back, drinking until Edward would come, embrace him and then everything would be alright again.

Ed put the bottle back, then pulled out his best friend since Roy's death; one of the bottles of the strongest scotch he could find all those months ago.

You used to captivate me

By your resonating light

But now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me

Edward couldn't hear the pounding on the mansion's door, he couldn't hear his younger brother trying to yell his name through the thick wood. Ed had fallen asleep while drunk in a chair, his head resting on the dining table. He smiled and murmured softly in his sleep, he was dreaming about Roy as he very often did these days. He slowly began to wake up when he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Ed opened his eyes and looked up, expecting to be greeted by Roy's comforting smile but instead saw Alphonse's concerned face.

“Good morning, Brother. I'll go make you some breakfast. You go get cleaned up, ok?” Alphonse tried to give a smile, but Edward sighed, his younger brother never was good at faking emotions, especially happiness when he wasn't truly happy. Edward thought about how much he really should just give Al a spare key, so he wouldn't have to climb in through an open window every morning.

These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just too much that time cannot erase

“What do you want to do today, Ed?” Edward frowned in sorrow as Alphonse asked him the same exact question Roy used to ask him in the mornings of the days he didn't have work.

“I… want to go to the flower shop, then the military graveyard…” Ed responded barely above a whisper as he poked at his food with a fork.

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears

When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears

And I've held your hand through all of these years

But you still have all of me

Edward and Alphonse walked down the street, Ed sipping from his flask occasionally when he thought Al wasn't looking, Al checking his coat pocket to make sure his hand gun was still there, just in case anyone tried to attack his brother since Edward is the Fuhrer-elect's widower.

They went into the flower shop, Alphonse watching as Edward picked out and bought two flowers; a sunflower and a red rose, both perfectly healthy.

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone

And though you're still with me

I've been alone all along

Edward stood up, walking down the rows until he came to another grave, headstone reading, Fuhrer-elect Roy Mustang. Ed sat down on the grave, less then one foot away from his lover's headstone. He then reached out and grabbed the bottle that was once filled with scotch but now had a dead rose in it, tipped the bottle over so the flower and what little water was still in it came out. Ed reached into his coat, pulled out a flask filled with water, poured the water into the bottle, put the healthy red rose into it, then put the bottle back where he had picked it up from.

“I… It's been almost a year and I still… I still can't believe you're gone… I just… miss you so much, even though you're haunting me, you bastard. I love you. You know that? And yet, I hate you, because, Damnit, I can't believe you! I can't believe you… you're last words to me were, `don't worry, Edward, I'll be fine! See you later.' And you never were fine! The next time I saw you, you were lying in a morgue with a bullet in your chest and I was confirming that it was you! God… I fucking hate you for how stupid you are!” Edward shouted at the tombstone, crying silently.

He jumped a little when he felt a warm body pull him into a tight hug, he turned his head to look and could've sworn on the grave that he was sitting on that it was Roy he saw hugging him. But, just as quickly as the image came, it disappeared and then he was left with Alphonse; who was the one really hugging Edward.

“It'll be OK brother, you're a strong person, and you'll be OK.” Al said as he wiped away his big brother's tears and prepared himself for a long while of sitting in the graveyard, just comforting Ed until Ed wanted to go home.