Thunderstorms - Chapter 1

That was when it all began. A loud boom of thunder jerked me out of my half-asleep daze. My head whipped to my window - it really was storming. Rain relentlessly pounded against the roofs of houses and the streets. I couldn't see anything beyond a block from my house. It had even begun to hail. I watched, wide-eyed.

I sat up more fully and crawled to the window, like an anxious dog waiting for his master to come home. I watched the rain, enraptured, somehow, by its strength. I had never seen it rain so hard before.

Lightning lit up the sky. Unconsciously, as I'm sure we all do, I began to count the seconds.

One Missisip-

Boom! Thunder. The storm was less than one mile away. Then, Lightning flashed again. I counted once more.

One Miss-

Crash! It was closer than that, even. It was here. It was now.

The rain pursued, perhaps harder than it had been. I could barely see anything beyond my window at this point. The rain and hail and intense wind were overwhelming. Good God, how long could this go on?!

Then, as if it had heard me, as quickly as this rain had likely started, it began to let up. Gradual at first, but in less than a minute, it had reduced itself to a shower, nay, more of a sprinkle. The hail was completely gone.

I sat, and continued watching. I felt rather disappointed. I hadn't meant to beckon it away. It was merely a question. Had I somehow managed to offend the weather? That was certainly a first.

Just as I was ready to go back to bed, a flash of lightning streaked through the sky, making me jump out of my skin.

Yes, I'll admit it - lightning does frighten me. But simple flashes don't bother me. No, it's the actual bolts - the lightning I can see. That is what frightens me. Knowing that it's close enough for me to see it. And this bolt was uncomfortably close to my house. Perhaps a few blocks away, it seemed; maybe a bit further. It couldn't have been beyond a mile away. The thunder sounded on cue, and I continued to gaze out my window. I couldn't pull my eyes away. That single bolt of lightning prevented me from moving for nearly ten minutes.

Then, it happened again. It was far closer this time. I could feel my heart rate increase. Breathing became more difficult. I was on the second story of my house - could I get hit?

My mind raced to God. Was he trying to hit me? Whatever for? I began to wonder about the purpose of lightning. Was it, perhaps, his way of going after someone? No, that couldn't have been it. I was perfectly aware that very few people had died from lightning strikes (though that didn't stop me from being afraid.).

Lightning dazzled the sky once more. I gasped. It was amazing! Four bolts came from different areas and met at once point, creating a tremendous `X' in the sky! I was awestruck. Storms were truly works of art.

But what was God's plan with them? Why did he create storms? My head began to ache. Thunder roared from the heavens, which only made my headache worse.

I sat back, rubbing my temple with my palm. Why did my head hurt so? I glanced out my window once more and gasped at what I saw.

In the sky, nestled amidst an array of dark clouds, was a face. The face of an old man, with a thick beard. He looked ornery. Nay, he looked outright livid. I could also see his hand. Plump, and worn. It was outstretched toward me. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. No, he was holding something. What was it?

I crawled closer to my window, and squinted at this stranger's hand to get a better look at what he was holding.

Then it dawned on me. This old man was holding a heart. A human heart.

My eyes widened. I feared they may fall out. Who was this man? Could it have been -?

Yes. It couldn't have been anyone else. It was all becoming clear. I couldn't understand why I didn't notice it before.

I was looking into the face of God himself.

I lowered my eyes, then gazed at Him once more. Why? Why was he showing himself to me? Holding this...grotesque item before me. What did it mean? What did it have to do with my questions? My desire to understand thunderstorms? What, dammit?!

Lightning must have struck earlier, because I heard thunder once more. I gazed out at my horizon, and listened intently to the thunder as it roared. Once again, I had undergone an eerie realization.

This thunder, it did not sound like its usual crash, or explosion. No, it sounded different. It had a sort of...patterned rumble. Almost...almost like...

Almost like laughter.

My eyes darted once more to the deific figure before me. Was he? Was God laughing? At me?

Of course. Why else would he be laughing? God was mocking me. What a fool I was, trying to devise a theory pertaining to the divine history of thunderstorms. What a fool I was. What a fool I must have been. Why else would he laugh?

The storm seemed to return. It began to rain again. My chest began to heave. All of a sudden, I felt frightened. I began to feel very panic-stricken. I couldn't explain to you why. I may never be able to. But a sudden, immense fear washed over me. I felt as if I was drowning in this apprehension.

Lightning burst once more. I cried out, and fell back. My heartbeat must have increased tenfold. I began to fear it would burst from my very chest. Cold sweat trickled down the back of my neck. My breathing got more and more labored with each passing second, and each passing second seemed to lengthen considerably. I waited. I waited for the strike of thunder that would soon come.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, it came. This bellow also seemed like a laugh, but it still made me freeze. After mulling it over, as the thunder rumbled low, I realized just how different it sounded from God's laughter. It was darker, more frightening, and monotonous. Similar to a heartbeat.

I froze. A heartbeat. A heartbeat!

But whose heartbeat was it? Was it God's? Did he even have a heart? Was it mine? Was it the heart in his hands? My head was throbbing at this point - I had forgotten about my headache. My eyes darted to my nightstand. Pills were scattered about every which way, but I was sure somewhere in the midst of that mess there was aspirin.

I crawled over to my nightstand. I could barely see straight at this point, my headache had gotten so miserable. My shaking hand reached out to grab one of the bottles, but I couldn't see what it was labeled. God's laughter began to ring in my head. I winced. The sound of the heart beating also began to rumble. I grabbed at the sides of my head. I could hear something else, as well. Someone screaming. Was it me? I crawled into a fetal position on my bed and simply lay there. Endless seconds passed, and I tried yet again to reach for my medication. I didn't care what I grabbed at this point. I needed something. Anything. Anything to numb myself of the rumble of the thunder outside, the blinding lightning bolts the flashed in the sky. God's laughter, his mocking laughter. And that damned heart beating! I couldn't take it! I snatched at whatever and however many pills I could and began to swallow them all. One of them would be aspirin. I didn't care any more. All I wanted was silence.

...And I got it.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a strange room. Alice was at my side, in tears. Her beautiful brown eyes were overwrought with sadness. But whatever for?

I looked around. It quickly occurred to me that I was in a hospital. I grew confused. What was I doing in here? What happened to the storm, and the noise?

Alice looked at me. Her big eyes got even bigger. "Oh, sir!" She cried, collapsing to her knees. She grabbed my hand and sobbed into it. "Oh, sir I was so worried! I found you in your bed, and I-I thought you were sleeping. But...but you had no pulse, a-and I panicked! I know you hate hospitals, sir, but..." she trailed off, and continued weeping.

I sat up. My head was swimming, but I still managed a reassuring smile. "It's alright, Alice. You did the right thing."

Alice looked up at me, awed. She wiped her eyes and stood. She bowed politely. "Thank you, sir."

A doctor stepped into the room, holding a clipboard. He gazed at me, disapprovingly.

"I see you're awake. That's good. We had to pump your stomach to get all of those drugs out of your system. It's a wonder you're alive. Another second and you wouldn't be." He nodded to Alice. "You should be thanking this young woman. You owe her your life."

I smiled warmly at Alice, "I always have."

He didn't find my comment very touching. Instead, his steely gaze locked onto me. He tapped his clipboard with his pen. "Well, since the damage was self-inflicted, you are aware that we've arranged to put you in a mental institution for at least a week. We'll see what they have to say when you get there. But, until then." He nodded. "Rest up. Get well soon." And with that, he left.

As the doctor ordered, I was sent to an institution. I had explained to them what happened, what triggered the need to overdose, and they declared me mad and stuck me here, in this cell. The very one I am dictating this story from at this moment. I personally feel this is an injustice, however. I'm not mad. I never was. Everything I am telling you now is true, or as true as I feel it is.

But, perhaps you don't believe me. And I can understand that. A lot of what happened to me could have many explanations. I may not have seen the face of God, or heard him laugh at me. It could have been my overactive imagination at play. I'll let you decide.

Did I ever find out why God made thunderstorms? I'm afraid not, but I can always take a guess. Based on my experiences, I believe that God uses thunderstorms to give people a message. What that message is, though, I couldn't tell you. Perhaps it's a different message for each person. If that's the case, I have a feeling that His message to me was, "You're an insane fool with far too much time on his hands." Or perhaps it was something else. I don't know.