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Suikotsu teaches Jakotsu how to drive with disastrous results. AU set in the "Homecoming" world.
Author’s notes: The following is an “AU” set as the same timeframe as my fic, “Homecoming,” and features Jakotsu and his best friend, Suikotsu.
“Okay, take your foot off the brake, Jak, and accelerate slowly,” Suikotsu said as he prayed Jakotsu would not damage his car or kill them in the process. “Make sure you look, before pulling out into traffic.”
“Will do...” the cross-dresser said, and looking over his shoulder, before he pulled away from the curb.
“You forgot to signal!”
“It’s okay, Jak, but you seriously need to accelerate before someone comes along and hits us from behind.”
Tell me about it... Suikotsu thought miserably as his friend pressed the accelerator a bit harder. The car moved a little faster going from sixteen kilometers per hour to thirty three kilometers per hour. It still was not fast enough, but it was better than nothing. Besides, they were the only ones out on the street which was the reason Suikotsu chose this quiet little neighborhood to teach his friend how to drive. He found it odd that in half a lifetime; Jakotsu had never learned to drive, although the excuse the cross-dresser gave him, of living in the heart of Tokyo and not needing to know, was plausible. But now that he was involved with Bankotsu, Jakotsu needed to be able to get to the studio at a moment’s notice. Since Suikotsu, was a pediatrician with regular hours, he could not be counted on to chauffer him around. So he volunteered to teach Jakotsu instead when he complained that his lover made him nervous when he drove. And that was how he found himself, with his heart in teeth as Jakotsu jerked the car down the road. “Careful....”
“I’m trying; Sui, but you’re distracting me!”
“Sorry,” Suikotsu said. He closed his eyes and prayed for the hundredth time that they would make it around the block in one piece.
Jakotsu, however, found his friend’s silence more unnerving than the constant little reminders about what he did wrong or failed to do so he reached over and turned on the radio. He hummed along with it, occasionally singing when he knew the words, although he stopped when he noticed Suikotsu was tensing up again. “Sui, I always sing along with the radio, but if it bothers you I’ll stop.”
“I know...” Suikotsu sighed. “But I think you should wait until you have more experience behind the wheel first.” Willing himself to relax, Suikotsu settled back in the passenger seat.
“Okay...” Jakotsu squealed in delight when his favorite song came on. “Yes!!”
“What happened?!” Suikotsu’s eyes flew open as he braced for impact.
“Nothing... they’re just playing my favorite song. ‘Aitai’ to omou koto ga naniyorimo taisetsu dayo kurushisa no uragawa ni aru koto ni me wo mukete...” the cross-dresser sang along. “I wish I could find Kome Kome Club’s version of it. Still, Daishi does a great job here along with the rest of the guys in Psycho Le Cemu. Too bad they disbanded, eh? But I’d like to at least once hear the original.” He sang a few more lines.
The pediatrician shook his head. “Jak, you need to speed up a bit.”
“Why? Forty isn’t fast enough?”
“No. It looks like we’re heading back to Tokyo, so you’ll need to keep up with the traffic, although, I wish you’d stay here instead and drive around the block a few times.”
“But that’s boring, Sui, especially when you’re either asleep or hanging on for dear life.”
“I’m not sleeping, nor am I hanging on for dear life,” Suikotsu said indignantly.
“Yes, you are,” Jakotsu teased. “It’s okay, I’ll circle back.” He hummed along with the song playing on the radio while they circled around a few more times. “Uh, Sui...?”
“What does it mean when this little line goes near the ‘E’ at the bottom?”
“Oh hell! You need to pull over and park as we need to go get gas.”
“Oh... How do I do that?”
“Ummm... You stop accelerating and gently pull next to the curb, so as not to scrape the tires, and stop and put it in ‘P’ for park.”
“Okay!” the cross-dresser said cheerfully.
“And make sure you find a spot with no cars nearby.”
“Okay...” Jakotsu drove around for a few minutes. “Uh, Sui, there’s a little orange light that just came on.”
“It’s telling you we have less than a quarter of a tank. If you hurry up-” No sooner the words come out of his mouth, than the cross-dresser hit the gas pedal and Suikotsu’s ‘87 Camry shot forward. “Slow down!!”
“You said to hurry up!”
“No!! You need to slow down and hurry up and park, Jak.”
“Sui, you’re confusing me!”
“I’m sorry, Jak. Just park there.” He pointed to a stretch of the tree lined street that was clear of any other cars.
Jakotsu shrugged and turning the wheel sharply, he tried to do what he was told. Unfortunately he jumped the curb, and managed to barely avoid hitting the tree. “Ummm... this okay?”
Suikotsu, who held his hand over his wildly beating heart, stared at his friend out of the corner of his eye.
For several long tense minutes, Jakotsu tried to break the tension by singing along with the radio.
“How can you sing when you nearly killed us?” Suikotsu said as calmly as he could, although his voice was several octaves higher than normal.
“Kill us?” The cross-dresser blinked. “But you told me to park there.”
“I know...” Suikotsu heaved a long suffering sigh. “But I also told you to park as close to the curb as possible without hitting it. I didn’t say to avoid the curb all together and hit the tree.”
“Oh yeah...” Jakotsu said sheepishly. “I think the car’s alright, Sui, otherwise the tree would look damaged, right?”
Suikotsu slowly let out the breath he was holding. “I suppose so... Okay, let’s change seats and get out of here as I think you’ve done enough driving for one day...”
“Okay!” Jakotsu was about to get out of the car when another one pulled up alongside it.
The window rolled down and a teenager girl looked over at them. “Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Jakotsu said, after lowering his window. He looked over at Suikotsu and back. “I just swerved to avoid running over a cat.”
“Awe!!” the girl cried along with her friend who was driving. The two girls had a quick whispered conversation between themselves. Turning back to Jakotsu, the girl in the passenger seat said, “Ummm... I know you probably hear this a lot, but ummm... “
“What?” Quirking a delicate eyebrow at her, he waited patiently for her reply.
“Well, my friend and I think you look just like that girl... Ummm, guy from the Youkai video and the make-up ads too.”
Jakotsu laughed. Oh shit...”You’re right; I do hear that a lot...”
Suikotsu sighed impatiently. “Just give them an autograph already and be done with it,” he hissed.
The girls squealed in delight. One of them grabbed her cell and took a picture while the other hurriedly dialed her own.
“Now look what you’ve started,” the cross-dresser said peevishly to his friend.
“I didn’t start anything. I was trying to finish something. Knowing you as well as I do, you’d have sat here all morning while they stroked your ego. It’s good thing you’re gay, or I’m sure you’d be making a dates with them too.”
“Anyway, ask them to move so we can switch places and get the hell out of here.”
Jakotsu shrugged, and plastering a sweet smile on his face, he opened his mouth to ask them to move when they both took pictures of him with their cell phones. “Ladies... uh... can you please move your car?”
They ignored him as they both turned to each other and giggled. Picking up their cell phones, they quickly dialed and minutes later two more cars entered the street.
“Oh hell... This is exactly what I was afraid of,” Suikotsu said.
“They’ll go away in a few minutes, Sui. Besides, why are you in such a hurry to get out of here? Got a hot date with Ren?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Nope. That’s why I only agreed to a couple of hours, not the whole day.”
“Sorry, Sui...” Jakotsu sighed and turned to the girls. “Uh, ladies, you have to move your car so we can get out of here, before I’m, ummm... late for a photo shoot.” Turning back to Suikotsu, he said, “Happy now?”
The pediatrician nodded. “Unfortunately they aren’t moving and a few more cars just came down the block.” He groaned softly and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket only to find it dead. “Great. No charge.”
“You can use mine if you want.” Jakotsu held out his phone.
“Thanks...” Suikotsu murmured as he took the proffered phone. Flipping it open he quickly dialed Renkotsu. “Ren...? Yeah... I’m going to be a little late. I took Jak out for a driving lesson ... No we’re fine. Anyway we’re stuck here as he got recognized and mobbed by a group of girls... What?” Suikotsu laughed.
“What?” Jakotsu asked.
Suikotsu looked over at the cross-dresser and said wryly, “Ren wants to know if I’m having fun yet.”
Jakotsu laughed. “Tell him you’re having so much fun you could die!”
Suikotsu rolled his eyes. “Hear that, Ren? Yeah... It could be worse; I could be stuck here with Naraku...” He laughed along with Renkotsu. “What? You don’t have to, besides, how is Jak going to get home? He can’t drive back from here. Bye, Ren.” He ended the call and handed the phone back.
“Sorry, Sui... Maybe I can call Ban and he’ll come get me and we can leave your car here. I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
“As tempting an offer as that is... I don’t trust those girls with my car. In case you haven’t noticed, they’ve been taking pictures of us.”
“Oh, I know. I’m just ignoring them,” the cross-dresser said airily.
“Yeah... I see that.”
“Don’t worry, Sui, they’ll soon get tired of it.” He turned when a girl stuck a piece of paper and a pen in the window. Jakotsu smiled sweetly at her as he scribbled his name and handed it back to her.
“They don’t look all that tired to me.”
“Trust me, it’ll die down; it always does,” the cross-dresser smirked.
Suikotsu sighed and changed the radio station.
“Why’d you change it? I like that song.”
“Sorry, but I don’t feel like listening to you sing. I just want to get the hell out of here, if you must know.”
“You like him a lot, hunh?”
“What’s he like?”
Jakotsu nodded as he signed another autograph. “Yeah... He must be pretty special if you’re racing off to see him.”
Suikotsu’s frown softened into a smile. “Let’s see, aside from the obvious fact that I can’t race off anywhere unless I go on foot,” They laughed. “He is really special to me.” Suikotsu smiled. “Ummm, Ren is, well... Ren. He’s rather serious, but he does have a wicked sense of humor that comes out at the strangest times. And he’s fun to be with. He also dresses well without being narcissistic, unlike some people I know.” He chuckled.
“Hey!! It takes a lot of time to look this good!” the cross-dresser said playfully.
“I know... And he’s good with his hands.”
“I’ll bet!” Jakotsu said saucily.
Suikotsu rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean that way.”
“Anyway, he’s a good cook and we share the same interests.”
“Yeah... We were supposed to go to the botanical gardens this afternoon.”
Jakotsu nodded. “I saw in the paper they’re having a new exhibit on miniature roses. Ren likes to garden too?”
“No, he doesn’t know a daisy from a day lily. But he did want to see some the metal sculptures they have in the gardens. You know how he makes custom bikes for a living? Well, he likes to work the metal in others things as well.”
They were chatting away about their relationships to pass the time, when Jakotsu looked up and spotted them, heading their way. “Oh look!” He pointed towards the windshield. “The cavalry is here to save the day.”
“We’ve been rescued! This is the last one, Darling!” Jakotsu said happily as he signed another autograph. Smiling sweetly, he posed for a final picture with the girl as Renkotsu and Bankotsu inched their way over to them. The biker slowly threaded his motorcycle through the crowd of cars and disappointed fan-girls, stopping occasionally to let some cross in front of him.
“Awesome!” Suikotsu smiled as their saviors parked the bike and got off.
When Bankotsu took his helmet off, the fan-girls ran to fuss over him, prompting Jakotsu to stick his head out of the window, and cry, “Hey!! Hands off, ladies!! He’s mine!!”
Bankotsu sauntered over to the driver’s side of the car, nodding politely as the girls took pictures of him with their cell phones, although a few later arrivals actually had proper camera with them. He smiled as he stuck his head in the car’s window. “So, how was the driving lesson?” he deadpanned.
“Just peachy,” Jakotsu said airily. “Wasn’t it, Sui?”
Suikotsu, who had got out of his car when Renkotsu walked up to it, stood there, surveying the damage to his car.
“It’s not too bad, Sui,” Renkotsu said as he squatted down to examine the car’s front end. “Just a couple of scratches and a flat tire...” He straightened up and walked over to Suikotsu who stood next to the tree. “At least you didn’t have a blow-out as you two could have been seriously hurt.”
“Once the girls leave, Ban and Jak can help push the car back into the street and we’ll change your flat.”
Suikotsu nodded as he watched the crowd disperse. “You know,” he said and Renkotsu could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s tempting to make Jak change the tire by himself.”
“So? Make him do it then if he caused it.”
“I would, but what if he breaks a nail?”
“I’m sure he can handle it, Sui.”
“You don’t know Jak like I do.” The pediatrician grinned at his boyfriend.
“No... but?” Renkotsu grinned back at him, pleased to see that his boyfriend was feeling better now about his car.
“Can you say ‘hissy fit’?”
By now the street had emptied and things were back to semi-normal as Bankotsu and his lover headed over to the others. Bankotsu eyed the damage and said, “You need help with the flat, Sui?”
“Yeah, and I was thinking Jak should be the one to change it.”
“Because if you had paid attention when I showed you how to park, you wouldn’t have jumped the curb. As it is, you’re lucky you didn’t dent my car.”
“But, Sui...” the cross-dresser whined.
“Ban honey?” Jakotsu turned to his lover for help.
“I think it’s an excellent idea. If you’re ever out driving by yourself you should know how to change a flat.” Bankotsu grinned.
Jakotsu made a face. “Alright, what do I do?”
As Bankotsu patiently explained how to change it, Renkotsu and Suikotsu walked over to his motorcycle. Picking up the spare helmet, Renkotsu tossed it at his boyfriend, before donning his own. “Ready?” he asked as he got on the bike and started it.
“As I’ll ever be...” Suikotsu replied. He put on the helmet and adjusted the fit, before getting on the back of the motorcycle.
Renkotsu revved the engine and they waved. Pulling away, the last thing they heard was, “Damn it!! I broke a nail!!”
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