Sparkling in Public
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Alice warns Bella of Edward's suicide plans. Jacob's reaction is... less then helpful.
“Wait, wait-, let me get this straight,” Jacob said. “Edward thinks Bella is dead.”
“Yes,” said Alice.
“And he thinks that because you told him so.”
“Um…” Alice avoided both Jacob's and Bella's eyes. “Yes.”
“Why would you tell him that?” Bella cried.
There was a short uncomfortable silence.
Alice turned back to Jacob. “We have to get going, what's your point?”
“Edward can't or won't kill himself so he's going to try to get someone else to kill him, right?”
“Right.” Alice confirmed. “So?”
“So…” Jacob was trying - and failing - to hide a smile. “He's going to do this by breaking the-“ he let out a snort of amusement “Sorry- the most sacred vampire rule, which is to-, to-“ he was fighting a desperate battle against laughter “-to sparkle in public!” Giving in, he dissolved into hysterics.
“Yes” Alice was not amused. She stepped away from the laughing werewolf, who was now rolling on the ground clutching his sides, and pulled out her cell phone. “Bella, is that coming with us?”
Bella, who had been berating an oblivious Jacob for his rudeness, looked up. “No way. They don't get along.”
Alice rolled her eyes and returned to making plane reservations. When she had finished she turned back to Bella to let her know of their plans.
Jacob had mostly calmed down, and was sitting up laughing quietly to himself. Bella was standing over him trying to shush him, which just started him up again.
“Bella,” Alice called.
Bella walked over to Alice. In the background, they heard Jacob's voice say “sparkle” and then a fit of giggles.
Ignoring him, Bella asked “Did you get everything set up?”
“I've made plane reservations and reserved a rental a car once we arrive. We'll need to leave within the hour.”
“Shut up, Jacob.” Bella threw him a glare that had absolutely no effect. “I'll go pack a bag.”
This time it was Alice who glared. “Fine. I'll pick you up in 45 minutes.”
“Okay.” They split up, Alice heading for the road where her car was parked, and Bella cutting through the forest to her house. They left the giggling werewolf lying on the forest floor.
Eventually, Jacob picked himself up, brushed himself off, and headed home.
“Sparkly vampires. What will they think of next?”
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