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Sometimes he wishes that he didn't feel anything. A short Bruce/Diana one-shot.
A/N: Yay I'm not dead! I had this sitting around in a notebook and I decided to type it up and post it. Just a short drabble on Bruce's feelings for Diana.
"I wish I was like you, Batman. I wish I didn't feel anything."
The words rang in Bruce Wayne's ears again and again. If only it were true. If only he felt nothing, void of all human emotions and feelings.
But it wasn't the truth; wasn't anywhere near it, in fact.
He felt emotions the same as any other human being. Pain, pleasure. Excitement, disappointment. Happiness, depression. Intrigue, satisfaction.
He felt all of those. All and more. Sure, he may not show them as much as the average person but that was just the way he was. He had worn that mask for years; he could count the number of times it came off.
But there was one exception. One person could make that mask fall off any time she desired and she knew it. One bat of the eyelashes or snap of the fingers and it fell. He couldn't keep secrets from her. Well he could for a little while but as soon as she really wanted to know it would come spilling forth like water gushing through a broken dam.
Diana. He sighed. Just the thought of her name reminded him of another emotion he understood all too well.
He felt love. If it could be called that. The feelings he had for her were so strong. It was almost impossible to think that they could be encompassed in that one short word. The feeling that made him so jealous when she was around other men. How he would give his life to protect her. He would readily blow a ridiculous amount of money on a present for no reason other than to see her smile.
He understood love. And more than that, understood and felt the pain that came from loving someone who he wasn't allowed or supposed to love in the first place. Despite his feelings, Bruce knew he could never be with her. No matter how much either of them wanted it. He couldn't bring himself to ruin their relationship; she had become one of his true friends...he dared to even say she was his best friend. He couldn't lose her as well.
'I wish I didn't feel anything.' The words played over and over in his mind, reverberating through his head like a broken record.
God help him, he did too. He wished he didn't feel anything. And that was a wish that had been uttered only once before in his life. That night when he was eight, when his parents were shot down in front of him. Died but only a foot away from him and he could do nothing about it.
It may have been a slightly different form of pain but it didn't matter. All pain hurt. That's why it was pain.
Subconsciously, Bruce knew that he didn't really mean it. If one couldn't feel anything at all, that would mean that they couldn't feel all the good, happy things in life.
But, right now, he wasn't thinking about the good things. He was wishing foolishly that he couldn't feel.
"But I can," he whispered brokenly to himself.
And the quick flash of raven hair walking past him and the sharp ache deep in his heart that accompanied the sight was an all too real reminder of that fact.
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