Kohaku's Thoughts - Chapter 1

He is everywhere, watching my every move, the one who manipulated me into the horror of slaying my own family and other innocents. Making me wound my sister not only physically but also emotionally. She probably won't forgive me for what I have done and I am not expecting forgiveness. Although I still miss onee we.

Now that my memories returned, the horrors of those slaughters by Naraku's command are flooding my mind. However, I cannot let you know that, onee we. If Naraku finds out I remember he might kill me before I had the chance to do what I have vowed, to kill Naraku and I have to protect you, so it's for the best… I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, am I not going to die before I do this, but I will try. If only for the sake of the people who died, for my family and village.

Onee we! No, I cannot let her see me! She is so close and yet so far. I cannot reach out for her. Not even with Naraku's spies not hovering around me, even then I am not free to act by my own will! But I am forced to fight you and your friends, causing you only pain. Yet out of the haze of Naraku's control I could see your face contorted with anger and shock. I did not know to whom the face belonged, yet I couldn't forget it.  

On my way from the village I passed our woods; the cave where we sheltered from the rain, the stream where we caught fish with our bare hands, the field where we used to run. Those memories are suddenly clear in my mind. We had only known happiness and simplicity back then. Do you remember that onee we? Now I have to be separated from you, not daring to hope of reunion.

When I walked through the forest I saw Kirara. She was in trouble being ambushed by a group of youkai. But together we have eradicated them quickly.

I cannot trust in anyone these days, only in Kirara can I confide, after this long. She is the only one who looks at me without reproach, just looking at me understanding, meowing her agreement.  Seems like we haven't met for ages! Daijobu onee we? She is healed and is worried about me, I understand Kirara. I am sorry for causing so much trouble, for being the cause of my sister's tears. 

It was my fault for being so weak that I gave in to Naraku. I didn't want to live with myself when the memories first flashed in my mind.

What is gone cannot be brought back and only this garden will remind us of the way we were, of our innocence. It will never change, like our memories. Goodbye Kirara. I was happy to meet you. Show sis the garden for me and swear not to tell her we have met, and take care! Goodbye onee we! I hope one day…