Please Remember - Chapter 1

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Please Remember

by DisenchantedLullaby

Libraries: Alternate Universe, Drama, InuYasha, Romance

Published on / 1 Chapter(s) / 3 Review(s)

Updated on

All she wants is for him to remember. Remember the love that they shared. How it felt when they touched. Kissed. Made love. SessKag One-shot

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha, and I will not willingly admit to writing this piece of crap, except that I already did.

All I could do was cry. Pathetic, I know, but I did not know what else to do. My heart ached like it never had before, like it was shattered into a million little pieces that would never find their way back togther. I laid down on our bed, no, my bed, and cried out all of those painful emotions. He left me. I came home to find a note, it said that he realized how much of a mistake it was to be with me, that we were holding each other back and he did not want that for either of us. He never said anything like this to me before, I never knew he felt that way, I do not know if he really does feel that way. When I first met him I knew that he was closed off and did not like to get close to people, but I went out of my way to get close to him, and it worked. We dated for over a year before we moved in together, and that year is one that I will never forget.

We were so happy together, I swear there was never a time that he made me cry. He was so sweet to me, he made me feel like we were the only two people in the world, he was my world. He always had something special planned for us when we had a free night, and he always told me how beautiful he thought I was. I want him to remember that, to remember how happy we made each other, and how happy we could still make each other.

Time, sometimes the time just slips away
And your left with yesterday
Left with the memories
I, I'll always think of you and smile
And be happy for the time
I had you with me
Though we go our seperate ways
I won't forget so don't forget
The memories we made

I reached for his pillow, the only thing of his that he left, and hugged it close. It still had his smell all over it, of course it would, he had just used it that morning. That morning he acted like everything was normal, waking me up with a light kiss, then making me breakfast before I had to leave for school and he for work. I never thought that instead of going to work that he would spend the day ripping my heart to shreds. He once told me that he would never leave me, that I was stuck with him until the end of time, but he lied. He lied to me and he betrayed me, and even yet I wish he was here. I wish he was here to wrap his arms around me and make the pain go away, but he was the cause of my pain. He is the reason why I cannot bring myself to look in the mirror, the reason that I cannot get out of my bed.

"Why?" I sobbed into his pillow, soaking it, but not caring.

"What did I do wrong?" it was the first question that came to my mind after I read his note, but not the last.

I had thought about it for a while, and one conclusion that came to mind was that he had found another woman, one that was in some way or another better than me. I did not want to believe it, but it could very well be true, or then again he could have just decided that he did not love me. Maybe he never really loved me at all, maybe he was just playing with my emotions for the past two years. Of course, I did not want to believe any of that, but I could not think of anything else that it could be. He acted like his normal self until the very end, I suppose that was so that I would not figure out what he was going to do. Or then again, he might have just decided to leave me this morning, like he just woke up and thought 'I do not love Kagome anymore, so lets leave her before she gets home', yeah, that one would make sense if it sounded anything like something he would do.

I continued to cry, it hurt so bad to think that the man you thought of as your true love did not love you back, and that he thought so little of you that he did not tell you this to your face, but in a note. I had wondered how long he had been gone, it must have been a while, it is not like he had a lot of things to take with him, mainly his clothes. I remember my first reaction to the note, I laughed. I laughed until I began to cry, and the harder I cried to more I wanted to laugh. I remember just that morning I was talking to my friend, Sango, about how great it was living with Sesshoumaru, and about how happy we were together. What a load of crap. How could we have been truly happy if he had a reason to leave me?

I remember, we made love last night. I remember his hands all over my body as he kissed me with so much love in his eyes, but I suppose that was another lie. He must be a great liar, because I believed everything that he said to me, I believed that he loved me with everything that he was, like I loved him. I had called him after I saw that he was gone, but no one answered. He was avoiding me, he did not want to speak to me even for the briefest of seconds. I wonder who I will go to when I need help now. Who will be there when I have a bad day and just want to stay in and watch a funny movie. Who will be there when I fall and cannot pick myself up again. He had been the one to do all of these things for me, and in return I did the same for him. We were always there for each other, and now I do not know who I can go to for comfort.

I just want him to remember how good we are together, how good it feels when we touch, when we kiss, when we make love. I want him to remember all of those times that he said he loved me, and all of those times that I said I loved him back. I want him to remember us, remember that we were made for each other, that we fit together perfectly.

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
Please remember, please remember me

I wish that I could just talk to him, ask him why he left like that. It makes me feel like there is something wrong with me, not knwoing what it is that pushed him so far away from me. We were so happy together, and I want to know what changed that. I want to know what made him think that we were holding each other back. Back from what? He has his job, and I have college, we are both where we want to be.

"What is holding him back?" I asked myself as my crying began to stop.

It was strange, I was still sad, and wanted to cry, but all of a sudden I felt angry. I am angry at him, he left me without any real reason and he just expects me to get over it. Well I am not going to do what he wants.

Sess' POV

I felt bad about what I had done. I could see her confused face, I knew that it was wrong to simply leave a note not explaining why I left. She would never understand what I have been feeling. For so many years I had been one that never showed their emotions, but then one day she came along and changed everything about me. She made me feel so many things that I had not felt since I was a child, even then I did not feel all of these emotions. I loved her so much, and it scared me to death, to be that close to someone.

I thought that it would be easy to forget her, but it is not, she is everywhere that I go. I turned around and I see her, though she is not really there, it seems like she is. I know this is because of the guilt that I am feeling, I never really told her goodbye, I wanted to, but I knew that it would be too hard for the both of us. Actually, I was afraid that it would be harder for me to say goodbye, that thought frightened me, the thought that she did not love me like I thought she did.

Goodbye, there's just no sadder word to say
And it's sad to walk away
With just the memories
Who's to know what might have been
We'll leave behind a life and time
We'll never know again

I know that I will miss her everyday, but this way I know she will find someone that is worthy of her warm heart. She showed me kindness when I showed her nothing but hatred, though I did not really hate her. I tried to push her away from me, but she just kept coming back, stronger every time.

Flash back


I stood in the park, though I was not sure why at that time, I suppose I had nothing better to do. I watched the children play for a moment before something caught my eye. It was a girl I had seen around, she knew my brother fairly well. I turned to walk away, I did not want anything to do with her if she was involved with my brother.

"Sesshoumaru!" I hear her call before I could get very fair, but I kept going.

I could hear her running after me, but I did not show it. Surprisingly she caught up to me, and she was angry.

"I know you hear me back there," she huffed as she walked beside me.

I did not say anything to her as I kept walking, and all she did was follow me, not uttering a single word. She followed me all the way out of the park and half way to my home, which was located close to hers if my memory serves me right. When we got to her home, I walked past it, or I tried but she grabbed my arm so I stopped.

"One day Sesshoumaru, I'll get you to talk to me," she said before she let my arm go and walked to her house.

I actually smiled at that.


End Flashback


It was that day that I started to feel. Every time I saw here, my heart felt strange, like something I had never felt before. It took me a while to finally get close to her, but I was happy when I finally did.

"I just threw that all away," I admitted to myself.

I just threw every good thing I felt since I met her away because I am scared to feel those things. A week ago I would not have even thought about it, but something just clicked in my head and it became all that I could think about. It became so bad that I could not sleep, I had to get out of there before I did something that I would later regret.

"I have been so stupid, I left the only person I have ever loved. All because I am scared to feel,"

I was disgusted with myself, I the one I love because I am afraid to love her. It is ironic and stupid all at once, and it seems to fit into who I am. For years I was cold and did not get close to anyone, but then I find someone that loves me and that I love back, and I leave them because of that very reason.

"No, I did what I felt I had to. Now I should stop thinking about it,"

That was my resolve, and it was close to breaking, I could feel it, but I could do nothing about it. I grabbed my clothes from my suitcase and threw them in a my dresser. Usually I would neatly fold them and put them in their own little groups, but today was not that day to attepmt something like that. I did not feel like this place was my home yet, I still thought of my apartment with Kagome as my home, but that would change soon. I could make this place feel like my home, it would just take some time, and time is all I have.

"And that is my fault,"

No, I will keep my resolve and quit thinking about her, I have to, otherwise I will be filled with guilt for the rest of my life. Kagome is a strong woman, and everyone loves her, she will not have trouble finding someone that loves her and will not leave her like I did. She will find someone that is not afraid to feel these things for her, and she will be happy with him for the rest of her life. But when she does, I hope that she remembers how we use to be together, and I hope that she knows I will always love her no matter what happens.

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
And remember, please remember me

Kagome's POV

I found myself running to where I knew he would be, he had an apartment before we got together and he never got rid of it. He was going to let Inuyasha have it since it was close to where he worked, but Inuyasha had yet to move in and Sesshoumaru still had the key.

"I have to ask him why, I need him to tell me to my face,"

But as I was running, I found myself going slower and slower until I was walking. I wanted so bad to know why he did this to me that I had not thought about it, I did not think about naything but how I was feeling. How was he feeling? Was there something that made him feel like he could not talk to me? Like I would not listen if he said something?

It is a strange feeling to think that you may have done something to drive away the only person you thought that you could ever love with all of your heart and soul. I walked past a park that we use to go to, I loved to swing and he would humor me when we had nothing better to do, he always brought out my childish side.

"I need to see him," I thought to myself as I started to run again.

It started to rain when I was about halfway there, so I knew that I was going to look like a mess, but I did not care this time. I just needed him to tell me why he did not love me anymore, why he felt that he had to leave. He could have talked to me about this, he could have moved out if he wanted, and we could have gone back to simply dating like we had been doing. There were always other choices, better ones, that we could have done. He did not have to leave me, unless he really does not love me anymore. It hurt to think like that, but how was I suppose to thinki? He left me because he loves me with all of his heart? He broke my heart because he loves me?

It all sounds so surreal, this whole day has been surreal. Everything was perfect, and then it shattered in a matter of moments. I continued to run, it must have started raining harder, but I did not care. My clothes were soaked, and my hair was sticking to my face, making me have to move it every few seconds, but all I was thinking about was getting to Sesshoumaru.

It took but another twenty minutes to run there in the rain, but again, I did not care about that. I was happy when I finally got into the lobby of his building, I warmed up instantly. I ignored the looks of the staff and other residents and just made my way to the lift, I reached Sesshoumaru's door a few minutes later. I do not know what came over me all of a sudden, but I just started banging on his door, like it was a matter of life or death, which is what it felt like at the moment.

Sesshoumaru's POV

I was in the middle of a shower when I heard someone banging on my door, at least that is what it sounded like. So I shut off the water and grabbed a towel, not bothering to get dressed, whoever it was could just deal with seeing me half naked.

Please remember, please remember
I was there for you
And you were there for me
Please remember, our time together
The time was yours and mine
And we were wild and free
And remember, please remember me

Right before I opened the door I was rather annoyed, but as soon as I saw who was on the other side my heart stopped. There stood Kagome, soaked from head to toe, yet she never looked as beautiful as she did at that very moment. I could not bring myself to speak, the fact that she had come all of the way over here shocked me, but then again in the back of my mind I knew that she would.

"Are you going to invite me in?" she asked in a tone that told of just how mad she really was.

I said nothing as I moved out of the way and motioned for her to enter. She stomped in, dripping water all over the floor, but I did not care about that, she was here and that was all that mattered. She walked right into the living room and sat down on my couch, I almost cringed at the thought of the wet fabric, but I let it slide as I walked over and sat down next to her. I turned to look at her, she just sat there, not making a sound. I wanted to pull her to me and hug her close, but I knew that I could not do that, I had to be strong. I turned to say something to her, but when I did I found her staring at me.

"Why did you do it?" she asked in a low voice, it almost did not sound like her.

"I have my reasons," was all that I could manage to say calmly, it was getting harder and harder by the second, just being near her made me want to throw out all of the thoughts I had when I first left.

She was quiet after I spoke, she did not look like herself, she looked like she had not slept in some time, though I had only been gone a day.

"You left me, you just up and left me," she said in that same voice as before, and it still caught me a bit off guard.

"How could you do that to me?" her voice got louder as she continued to speak.

"I thought you loved me! Then I came home today and you were gone, how do you think that made me feel?" she continued to vent her anger, and I found myself smiling.

Smiling at the vibrant girl I fell in love with, how she showed all of her emotions with the slightest look, or the way she spoke. The thoughts from that morning melted away as I watched her jump from her seat and yell at me some more, I could no longer hear her words, all I could do was watch her movements. I knew that she was angry, and that I was wanted, I wanted her to show me how she felt. I was afraid to love her, because I did not know if she truly loved me anymore, she had stopped showing me her love like she is showing me her anger now.

"Are you even listening to me?" I heard her say after another few minutes of my thinking.

I was going to answer yes, but then I thought better of it and got up from my own seat. I walked to her and grabbed her hand, I knew that this threw her off guard, the emotions played perfectly in her eyes.

Kagome's POV

When I got there I told myself to be calm, and I was, for the first few minutes. I do not know why, or really I do, but I blew up at Sesshoumaru. I know I must have looked and sounded like a psycho, but at that moment I did not care. He left me and I had to tell him how much he hurt me. Aftrer a few minutes I saw him smiling and not paying attention to me so I asked him if he was listening, half expecting him to lie to me.

"No," was all he said as he walked closer to me.

"I did not come all of the way over here in the rain so that you could ig-" I was cut off by his hand being placed over my mouth.

"Stop talking," he said right before he removed his hand and kissed me.

I was stunned at first, and then I became angry again. I pushed him off of me and glared at him, this was not how I wanted this to go, and I damn well was not going to have it ruined by a kiss.

"What the hell are you doing?" I screamed as I stepped away from him.

I had expcted to scream and argue, but never for him to actually kiss me. I played all sorts of scenes through my mind, but this is the one that never came up, and I did not know what to do.

"I thought it would be obvious," he said as he walked towards me again, but I just stepped back some more, not wanting to be that close to him again, he hurt me so bad when he left.

"I do not need you playing with my emotions, you have done enough of that," I hissed, finally deciding to get angry, that was my best defense.

Though I felt this need to run into his arms, let him hold me as I cried on his shoulder, but he had hurt me like no other had before, and I did not not want to let my guard down, even if I did still love him.

"I realized something while you were yelling at me," he said after a momnet of silence, he looked as though he had just found the answer to the most difficult question in the world, and that looked scared.

"What did you realize?" I asked, though not really wanting to know the answer, afraid of what he might say.

Afraid of what I might do.

"That I love you more than anything, and that I am a fool for ever leaving you. That I want to be back in your life, if you will allow it," he spoke calmly, though in a way that I have never heard before.

For the first time since I met him, I thought that he might cry. That is what made me want to run into his arms, but I stood my ground, even when that single tear fell from his eye. I watched it roll down his cheek and I wanted so bad to remove it from his perfect skin, but my pride kept me in my place.

"I love you so much," I whispered to him, trying to keep my emotions at bay.

"But, I cannot just run into your arms. You hurt me, and I have yet to know why you would even do such a thing,"

It was hard to say, but I managed it and I felt better once it was out. He did not say anything, he just stood there as if in some sort of trance, but he soon broke out of it.

"I understand, but I am not sure if I could explain it," he replied, and he seemed as if he ment it.

I walked closer to him and took his hand, even though I was still not that comfortable with it at the moment.

"Then, I suppose it will take some time and effort to get back to where we were," I softly spoke to him as I held his hand.

"It will be time well spent,"

I could not help but smile as he squeezed my hand.

And how we laugh and how we smile
And how this world was yours and mine
And how no dream was out of reach
I stood by you, you stood by me
We took each day and made it shine
We wrote our names across the sky
We ride so fast, we ride so free
And I had you and you had me

Please remember, Please remember

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