A God's Reason - Chapter 1

I tried to reach out but was denied,
I wanted to love and be loved,
But instead I was confined behind four walls,
Foretold by fate to die.

But I can’t afford let them see me break down,
Can’t show weakness. They will hurt for what
I have become. A freak, a monster, a god they
Don’t dare to defy.  

Sometimes I wonder why pretend,

Why should we be nice to those fools
Who only make us feel disgust?
This is what you feel inside but fear to show,
I know you are afraid of me,
So why play the concerned?

Too many times you got out of line,
Too many times hide things behind my back,  

Don’t you know you can’t escape?
Because you’re all part of me now.  

And I know you can’t wait for me to die.
And I relish all those times I can see pain
behind your eyes. For no one ever cared,
So why should I?


Every day pushes me to madness,
Wondering why must I be left out,
Dancing the never ending circle
Of death, spite and malice?

Why am I so afraid to let go

Of you and everything I knew?

Yet I am pushing them away.
For I was taught to never cross the line,
control the affairs but never take part.

But deep inside I know the fault is mine.
And I keep playing the game,
Pretending a lie, hiding behind the mask
I show them nothing but a cold smile.
For there is no other way, and love is only
Mean to betray.

But deep inside my heart is restless.

Sometimes I wake from another nightmare,
Feeling tears of rage and hurt running down.
Fear gripping me inside, no I can’t let you go.
Because without you I’m nothing.