I am simply me in all my shade

I've never been so scared to post an art piece here then I am now, This piece has more meaning to me then it might first seem.
The rainbow is of Artists I admire and love for their art and or personalities depending how well I know them. I didn't ask permission to draw this one becuase it's not about them or rather they are not the subject of this peice I am.

When your 13 till mid to late 20's you get a grasp on who you are outside of your likes, dislikes, hobbies, friends, media, you get a sense of self. I never had that. I get jealous of artists and people who do, or who have the kind of life I want. I would be a shadow of others, they do something I do it to you like Danny phantom? I'm in the fandom now to, you hate a pairing now I do to. you get the idea. I never realized how bad it was though till just recently. So I made this picture for that reason

ROY
:iconai-bee: (Red) :iconmajesticreaper: (Orange) :iconskydrew: (Yellow).
Confident and open in who they are as artists. and in intreasts. They are not scared to be themselves on paper and draw what they really feel. Want to be a winchester and cas as your fiance? yeah no shame there, want to put yourself in many fandoms only to make that self insert a BA OC? boom there it is. No shame in what they do, loving every minute of it, a confidence and skill level I admire, have been confused and yes Jealous over.

G
:iconbibi-chan: (bright green) Skill. I can't even put into words what it is about this artist but her mad awesome skills as well as unaplogtic fan love

:iconrunty: (darker green) her unaplogtic fangirl love, her adoration for artists like MJ and wierd al, her unashamed Fangirl nature,

BIVP

:iconamethyst-ocean: (aqua) :iconpurfectprincessgirl: (blue) :iconkpendragon: (dark blue) :iconcor--cordis: (purple)
:iconmarieangel04: (hot pink) :iconsereenag: and :iconnotbecca: (Dark red) :iconjaxxylupei: (the purple under the dark red, I'm so sorry that happend I misjudged the wide screen and ran out of space >>; ) and finally :iconfrostedrights:(the neon red pink)

Everything from style to personality but the thing that I admit I've tried to fake and copy is thier passion Thier passion for Danny phantom, winx club, Sam manson, Monster high, FOP, Thier own orginal works, Max Goof, Cars, I'm ashamed to admit I faked my Love for DP. if I may barrow Majestic repepars word here " There are people who are still into this show despite being in their 20's and, while I applaud them because WOW thats some good dedication right there, I just...I've completely lost interest as I've gotten older. I mean don't get me wrong, I still adore it and it's super nostalgiac to me" Before 2013 when all this started DP was just a nostalgic thing for me, then I met :iconmarieangel04: and jaxxy, and Y'all and t try and seem cool and to try and be friends with you lot I forced myself back into liking it, even now my gallery has DP in it and Sam manson has taken over my Goth faves folder.  I'm like a little kid trying to be like the cool kids, or the geek girl trying to be like the popular snobby kids.

I admit Im jelly over the friendships you've all made though this show, friendships that have lasted longer then the show even. I'm jelly that you have that ONE thing that is just YOU and you know it and love it and proudly proclaim I AM A FANGIRL or I AM A CREATOR.


You see now why I was scared of posting this, the sloppy lines and what I'm saying make it seem like I don't like you or something when that is not the case in the slightest. Lastly we come to me, Drawn from a photo of myself I took the other day in my old prom dress, the one thing I had forgotten makes me feel like a Gothic princess, beautiful, and strong.
The broken glass look here is to symbolize how my notions have broken how my outlook has changed. As I said in my journal I still love and adore you all I can't get that down enough, But I'M NOT YOU. I'm sure you've all had that moment where you realized your not your favorite artist, mom, dad, family member, older sibling, best friend, and come to the realization that the road your on you can't fake or take from someone else. Well this is mine.

I'm looking away, I'm moving Foward I'm engaged, planning a wedding and over all growing up, I'm droping the act that it makes me better then any of you, or tht your better then me becuse you have _____ Age wise yes I'm older then most of you but that doesn't make me better and I shouldn't have ever thought that. I'm excited to see what you all do, where you all go, and what you make next, But I'll just keep to comparing me to myself and my own growth from now on


As always Art and myself belongs to me others here belong to themselves, these are the pictures I looked at while making this
http://majesticreaper.deviantart.com/art/Sketches-Concept-arts-are-in-my-Scraps-543493056

http://skydrew.deviantart.com/art/A-Piece-of-Memory-253276313

http://ai-bee.deviantart.com/art/TIME-WARP-2015-521297438

http://amethyst-ocean.deviantart.com/art/ID-637979873

http://bibi-chan.deviantart.com/art/Stars-are-above-Us-520429897

http://cor--cordis.deviantart.com/art/Here-Comes-a-Thought-633525177

http://kpendragon.deviantart.com/art/My-Demon-and-Me-480845299

http://marieangel04.deviantart.com/art/My-Ghostly-Prince-Charming-382892103

http://notbecca.deviantart.com/art/Who-s-that-Pokemon-262129433

http://jaxxylupei.deviantart.com/art/DP-Red-Is-Your-Color-611362266

http://frostedrights.deviantart.com/art/Isabella-Cobalt-Holler-649823970

http://purfectprincessgirl.deviantart.com/art/Morgan-Fenton-REBOOTED-583061123

http://runty.deviantart.com/art/stuck-in-the-middle-with-you-33353211

http://sereenag.deviantart.com/art/Different-Style-660873622