For the last seven weeks the Monster (previously known as the cat) has been living with us. In the beginning he behaved nicely, not really going much more the leaving hair everywhere, but something happened and now it’s full out war. It started with him puking under the bed. I could deal with that, shit happens (in this case puke happens) and he cleans himself by licking all that fluffy fur. Then I found a turd on the floor. I could deal with that too, I wasn’t pleased but I could deal with it. After that he started peeing outside the litter box and dumping all the kitty litter on the floor. Not too please about that since I like walking around the house barefoot. Somewhere around that time the war began. I stopped petting the little shit and threw him out of the bedroom at night and he countered with throwing up on the bedroom rug and I spent half the night scrubbing that instead of sleeping. And to make matters even worse he, apparently, has too much to do because he can’t even finish doing his business before leaving the litter box. This morning when I woke up – pissed as usual cause I’m not a morning person…. AT ALL – I found a puke ON the couch. So I spent my morning scrubbing cat puke out of the couch instead of having breakfast and taking a shower before I had to rush out. My couch now smells like puke and the fat bastard is looking as innocent as could be.

I’m really starting to wish I lived in a country where they ate cats. Cat stew is sounding pretty good right about now and I would personally skin the fucker before dumping him into the pot.

Another week and I think I'll have to check myself into the psych ward before i lose it completetly.

Much love and nervous twitches

//C

About a week ago we got a cat… sort of. We’re watching it while the owners are getting tanned somewhere warm and snow free. The cat, Killer Kotten (for some reason), is one of those fancy cats and therefore he can’t go outside. Which I kind of agree with, not the fancy cats shouldn’t go outside part, but I think it’s kind of cruel to let your cat run around outside when you live in the city. I don’t think they teach kittens to look both ways before they cross the street.

Anyway, Kotten had been scratching the balcony door for two days and made it quite clear he was not a happy camper so I put a leash on him and went out on the balcony with the fur ball. To my great surprise he wouldn’t move an inch and after a few seconds he promptly turned around and wanted to go back inside. Now, it could have been the snow or the cold but considering he’s used to walking around on a leash outside when he’s home and the fact that he has a humungus amount of fur I don’t think that was the problem.

Yesterday I made another attempt at taking him outside, this time out to the parking lot to see my friends off after watching a music competition-thingy on TV (we’ll get to that in a minute) but I ended up having to carry him all the way. When we got back inside he kept giving me suspicious looks every time a walked near the front door and he hid under the bed until I went to bed. After this my only conclusion is that he is a big, furry, scardy cat (see what I did there? :P).

On to the music competition-thingy.

Every year the European countries have this thing called the Eurovision song contest and every year my country holds try-outs for this. It started out with one competition with 12 songs and have now escalated to, I think, six. To decide which songs get to go to these try-outs, a jury of some unknown number of people, with questionable taste in music, listen to like a gazillion songs and then pick their favorites. These favorites get to go and compete on TV and we, the people, get to vote on our own personal favorites. Now, the problem with this whole thing is that pretty much all the songs suck, the presenter is boring and try too hard and the acts during voting time leaves a lot to be desired.

So why, if I obviously don’t like it, did a watch this thing yesterday, you ask. Well, I kind of got duped into it. One of my friends – she has questionable taste in music too, if you were wondering – promised me dinner if we could watched it together. Turns out the promised dinner was to be held at my place along with the watching. I was left with dishes to clean and a contaminated TV on top of having to live through the horrors of crappy, PLAYBACK, music. I pretty much got screwed on all counts. I am plotting my revenge as I type, but so far I don’t have anything worth mentioning.

Much love and aneurysms

//C
 

So, after weeks and weeks of complaining about the shitty weather - mainly ice and slush. Seriously, this global warming thing has really screwed up winter here, - the weather gods finally decided to listen and grace us all with a snowstorm that lasted for 3 days. Not really what I’d been hoping for, but apparently you can’t everything you want. I’m not saying it's necessarily a bad thing though, 'cus you get an excuse to stay inside and do nothing without feeling bad about it, but after 2 days you're kind of fed up with hanging out with yourself.

Anyway, it finally stopped and now my apartment building is no longer the reddish-orange brick color it used to be but white. Not sure if it's an improvement or not yet. One thing I do know is that my balcony is useless unless I wanna shovel my way out there. Am I glad I stopped smoking or what?

While the rest of the world (or at least the rest of the people living in my town) struggled with the unforgiving blizzard to get to and from work and other important things, I had the luxury of staying inside. but, like I said, after a day or two I’m kind of fed up with my own company so I spent my days online - where all my virtual friends are - and discovered the lack of feedback on stuff on here. People really suck at commenting - me included - on things they like. Or is it that people on here really don't like ANYTHING?

either way it's sad 'cus there are so many talented people here and they deserve some attention and feedback on their work, so I’ve decided to stop being a cheapskate and dish out a line or two next time I stumble over something I like. Though I have a feeling this will be more of a one man crusade than anything else, but whatever.

Now I’m gonna grab a shovel and try to find my car under all that snow. Hopefully I’ll make it out alive.

Hugs and frostbite

//C