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About Me

I am slowly rebuilding my presence on PaperDemon.  I'm not moving as much fic as fast as I expected so, until then.  I am no longer on Live Journal.

I AM NO LONGER ON TUMBLR EITHER!  After their filter went live, a few thousand posts vanished and I lost access to my own work.  I have deleted both of my Tumblrs.

I have not written since post season 2 (of Agents of SHIELD) for reasons I'd rather not discuss.  I do hope to eventually finish my ongoings but no promises.  Thank you for understanding.

I have a word press I am TRYING to work on for my gaming blog but it is a Tumblr imported mess and I DO have a Dreamwidth, though it is not public currently.

You're welcome to contact me with any questions or just to chat.  I know this profile is all over the place and kind of passive aggressive but that's my normal way to be, I promise.

Well, the all over the place is, not the rudeness.  Unless it's Rude-ness.  

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Blog: Don't know how to feel

This doesn't contain mature content but it does speak about death and depression. (Also Critical Role Series 2 spoilers, oddly enough).

My Step-dad passed away Thursday morning.

I'll be honest, it hasn't sunk in yet.  I didn't even know his cancer had come back (my brother R hadn't been told he'd had cancer in 2017) and it was 'he's dying' then the next day 'he's dead'.

I haven't cried yet.

I've cried several times for Molly and he was a character.  He was a character I identified with and had a lot of affection for as Taliesin Jaffe brought him to life.

And then he was gone.

I barely see my step-dad.

Saw, my step-dad, so I guess that's part of it.

My relationship with my mom is... complicated.  She lives in town but I hardly ever see her.

So I see my step-dad even less.

I don't know what's gonna happen to my mom.  An accident a few years ago left her unable to use her legs and I don't think she can take care of herself alone.  I am not physically strong enough to help her, nor have a way to get to her (I don't drive) and I don't remember who of my half brothers and step-brothers still live at the house.  I know my step-sister moved out when she got married but no idea for the others.

And again, I don't know how to feel.

I was angry at my mom for making me tell my brother M (they hadn't talked in years) and not letting me give him her cell phone number (he lives across the country with our dad and step-mom for mental health reasons).  Brother R isn't sure where he'll get the money to fly in (across the country but also north, he is married too).

And right now I feel... nothing.

Okay, I feel like a jerk.  But I've not processed what this means yet.  

So yeah.

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