Confessions of a Man's Heart - Chapter 1

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Confessions of a Man's Heart

by cheshirejin

Libraries: Erotica, InuYasha, MenLovingMen, One Shots

Published on / 1 Chapter(s) / 2 Review(s)

Updated on

What happens when Renkotsu realizes he has fallen for his best friend?



Renkotsu threw his gear down in a heap as he stormed into his room. There had been a horrible moment earlier where he was not sure if his favorite comrade in arms would be able to get away from their enemies alive. He should have known better than to worry. When Suikotsu wore his claws, he was an unstoppable snarling ball of steel edged fury.


It still made his heart freeze and sent the icy chills flowing out toward his outer extremities, causing him to shiver with the cold it left behind. He could have lost him.


Renkotsu had left the celebration of their victory early in a huff, he couldn't shake the feeling, and it was pissing him off. He had lost plenty of friends to death before, but Suikotsu, well it would have been different and what that probably meant just pissed him off to no end. Sure they had shared a futon on occasion, after all when spending a long time in the field stuff just sometimes happened. They were closer friends for it, but this, this feeling...




Suikotsu slowly slid the door open, purposely jangling his claws together in their leather carry bag to announce his presence. "Ren, is everything all right?" he asks mildly.


Renkotsu startled a bit; he had been deep in thought about his newly discovered problem. "I just didn't feel like watching the rabbits at play tonight, I bet they are jumping each other in the courtyard right now, the way they were acting," he grumped. It's not like that was exactly a lie, he really did not want to see any more of Bankotsu and Jakotsu than he already had. He still had scars from those two, big bad mental scars that probably led to his current problem in some way… maybe.


Suikotsu chuckled, "You know Jak just instigates things because he sees how much it bothers you," he said, shaking his head, and looking rather amused.


Ren growled some noncommittal noise and turned toward the dark-haired man, his heart tightening in his chest at the sight of him. Suikotsu was freshly cleaned and wrapped in a bathing yukata; no longer the wild eyed spirit of vengeance that tore his way through a half company of battered and bloody men earlier that day, but the gentle doctor that would sooth his body when he burned himself and his soul with his very presence. Damn! He cursed himself, he had it bad. He was starting to sound like a shoujo manga inside his own head. Even worse, he couldn't help himself, it was true no one had ever meant as much to him as this man did. He might even be in l... lo... the “L-word.”


"What?" the older man asked, uncomfortable under younger's sudden scrutiny.


"Sui, could you, uhm... that is if you want to, I was thinking, maybe you could stay here tonight... with me?"


A look of comprehension spread over the gentle healer's face. “Of course,” he said, moving closer to his friend.




Renkotsu reached out and gathered “his Sui” into his arms, content to hold him close for the moment.




Suikotsu wrapped his arms around the younger man, enjoying the rare chance to bask in the warmth radiating from the fire-breather's lean muscular body. As they stood there, leaning into each other, Renkotsu could feel the healer lightly tracing little designs on his lower back with his nimble fingers, each swirl and twirl causing warmth to spread like small flames dancing along his spine. They were alone in the quiet room, their breathing becoming measured, and their hearts beating loudly, slowly matching up in rhythm.


As they leaned even more into each other, a near magnetic pull brought their faces toward each other, slowly, ever so slowly. Warm puffs of air ghosted from their nostrils against each other's cheek as they pressed their mouths together. Renkotsu it was a bad idea, he knew if he gave in to this instinct right now in the emotional state he was in, it would mean much more than he wanted it to, but he couldn't help it, he needed this. There was no way he could not make love to him tonight. And that was exactly what it would be; making love. Not relieving tension or boredom, but deepening a bond with Suikotsu that so far had been limited to a close and dear friendship. The battle hardened fighter reached up and threaded his fingers into the hair on the nape of Suikotsu's neck, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. The remaining fear and adrenaline over having almost lost this special person who he was so fond of was driving him on. Suikotsu continued slowly making light patterns across the younger man's back with his fingertips, and Renkotsu hummed in appreciation. The good doctor tasted of mint tea and sake, and something that was just perfectly Suikotsu. Renkotsu loved that flavor and did his best to taste every part of dear friend's mouth, mapping that flavor onto his senses so that he could never forget it.




Suikotsu responded in kind, kissing fiercely as he moved his hands down, following the contours of Renkotsu's lower back and below. Pulling him close against his body, the dark haired man arched his spine, pressing himself against his strapping young lover. Renkotsu could feel the other man's growing arousal as they pressed their bodies together, his own body reacting eagerly. He broke the kiss, pulling Suikotsu's head to the side with his hand still wrapped in his hair, he leaned down and kissed and nibbled on the good doctor's neck, and succumbing to a childish desire to mark his territory, he purposely left a small love bite low near his shoulder.




The former monk was losing himself in the swirl of arousal and emotion, Suikotsu was so...perfect. He felt right, looked gorgeous, smelled like sex, and tasted like freshly washed heaven. Renkotsu worked his way down the muscular column of the other man's neck to his collar bone, pushing the material of the thin yukata he wore out of his way as he went.




His dark haired lover brought his hands up onto Renkotsu's bare head, distractedly grasping at him, and moaning in a hoarse voice that sent jolts of pleasure straight down the bald man's spine to his cock as he slowly ran the tip of his tongue back and forth across Suikotsu's dusky, brown nipple.




An evil thought percolated into Renkotsu's brain. If he makes that much noise for this... then what if I went lower? He smirked to himself as he began trailing kisses and nips down his beloved's chest and abdomen.




Suikotsu was practically rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as his lover knelt in front of him, untying his robe. Renkotsu took a moment to tease at his navel with little kisses and nips, before working his way lower to the weeping column of flesh jutting proudly from a patch of curly black down. Reaching out, and gently cupping the heavy sack hanging before him in one hand, Renkotsu tenderly massaged them, thrilling over the throaty groans he got from his lover. Leaning closer, he could feel the heat and smell the musky moist scent of arousal radiating from his partner. He was a little nervous, never having actually done this before, but he had been on the receiving end a few times and knew what he liked.




Swallowing thickly, Renkotsu leaned forward and took about half of it into his mouth, marveling at the feeling of rigid flesh wrapped in silky skin and a thin slick of thick salty fluid sliding on his tongue. He could sense the older man's excitement, and the sexy moans and inarticulate noises he was making were driving Renkotsu crazy with lust. He grabbed his lover by the hips after one particularly deep thrust almost triggered his gag reflex, Renkotsu decided to set a steady pace, bobbing his head back and forth, and allowing as much as he dared to enter his mouth. He clamped his mouth tight around the large column of ridged flesh, working his tongue around the underside for a while, before actually suckling at it in the back of his throat. He was so immersed in the moment he almost didn't register the feel of gentle healer's blunt fingernails digging into his scalp just before he climaxed, his body pulsing as his thick fluid release filled Renkotsu's mouth and senses. Messily swallowing what he could, the younger man allowed the elder to fall from his lips, wiping the remainder of the warm salt-bitter jizz away with the back of his hand. Renkotsu could hardly complain about the flavor after some of the substances he had mouthed in order to do his fire breathing over the years.


Suikotsu weakly smiled down at him. "That was amazing," he breathed.




Renkotsu was still reeling from the emotional high of knowing he and he alone had drawn that much reaction from the beautiful dark haired man before him. He was also painfully aroused and wanting.


Suikotsu sighed. "I am a horrible person, Ren, but I don't think I could do that," he said.


The younger man nodded, he was pretty sure that was true, a handful of hours ago he would have swore the same about himself. “It's ok Sui, I don't expect you to,” Renkotsu assured him. “But if you could just touch me...” he added, unable to keep the pleading tone from his voice.


Suikotsu reached out and wrapped his arms around Renkotsu. "I can do that," he said warmly. He reached down and worked his hand into the bald man's pants. He was surprised to find how very excited Ren was, he felt like marble wrapped in thick silk with rivulets of wetness that all but drooled from the tip and spread messily in his undergarment. He must have gotten a lot more out of his earlier activities than the gentle healer could fathom.


“This can't be comfortable,” he murmured as he began to help Renkotsu out of his clothes. Well, actually more like nearly ripping them off of the man. Knowing that the younger man was so turned on by sucking him off was having an effect on him as well. Soon he had both of them naked and was lightly stroking Renkotsu along with himself in between deep passion filled kisses. His newly erect member rubbing against the younger man's, made the fire breather moan and pant words that he couldn't quite decipherer but they must have been good.


“Oh damn… I want… I … Sui, I want you to… please… Sui, please I want you inside me,” Renkotsu finally managed to put the words together and say the last few loud enough for Suikotsu to hear him.


The older man heard the plea and looked at the amazingly shy, furiously blushing, and wonderfully sexy man before him. It took a lot for Renkotsu to actually ask for sex out loud like that. Until now he had dropped subtle, and not so subtle, hints and waited for Suikotsu to initiate any activities of this kind. Hearing him begging for it, sent liquid fire burning through Suikotsu's veins, where it pooled in his lower abdomen. “Ren, where is the oil?” he asked, noting that his voice had grown rough with lust.


Renkotsu turned away, bending over, and reaching under the near corner of his futon. His lover followed him and waited while the younger man uncorked the bottle and applied a generous amount of the thick oil to his fingers, before reaching behind himself to slick the tight entrance of his ass. Suikotsu thought his eyes would pop out of his head when the normally reticent and shy Renkotsu leaned forward with his rear high in the air, and began sinking his own finger deep as he could into the tight hole. Rocking his hips, while moaning in pleasure, he gingerly handed the open bottle to Suikotsu so that the dark haired man could apply some to himself and be sure to ease the way for what was to come. After applying a generous amount of the oil, Suikotsu moved onto the futon behind his young lover. “You ready for this?” he asked as he positioned himself to penetrate the tight slick hole before him.


Ren nodded, way beyond ready. He felt the stretch and give as the older man sheathed himself deep inside. It was perfect, hot and full and him inside and around, everywhere. It was movement, and sliding, pain and pleasure, and oh yes! Deeper, just like that… there! Heat and chills raced down his spine in waves as his insistently needy cock twitched and throbbed. When Suikotsu finally reached around to grab him, it took no more than the lightest friction and his body started to shake and nearly convulse with the strength of his orgasm. The world faded away to one pinpoint of existence, before exploding into white hot bliss. As he came back to himself, Renkotsu could feel his beloved's arms locked tightly around his waist, his member pulsing as it pumped hot semen deep into him. He heard Suikotsu, moaning his name quietly as he came. He allowed himself a slight smile as he unclenched his hands from the bedding, before collapsing boneless onto the futon, his beloved Sui landing heavily on his back.


“You ok, Ren?” Sui asked, after the fire breather just lay there without throwing the other man off of him or complaining about his weight on top of him like he would expect of the other man.


“Hmm mmm…” Renkotsu mumbled, nodding a bit, already slipping into a contented sleep with Sui's warm body covering him, and the soft futon beneath. He could deal with his newly discovered feelings later.


Suikotsu gently eased himself off of the younger man once he had realized he was a sleep. He sat briefly, his elbows resting on his bent knees, as he rubbed his face with one hand. He wondered what had gotten into the shy former monk, as this was a side of Renkotsu that no one was privy to. Not that he minded in the least as the sex was great and much more satisfying than the rough and tumble release they previously had enjoyed. It was down and dirty as well as oddly sweet and tender and Suikotsu smiled as he looked over at his lover's sleeping form.


Suikotsu rose to his feet and looked around the room for a quilt to cover Renkotsu with. Finding one, he laid it gently over the sleeping man, before looking for his discarded kimono. He was about to throw it on and quietly slip away back to his own room when something made Suikotsu stay. After blowing out the room's only candle, the gentle healer made his way back to his lover's futon. Kneeling next to it, Suikotsu crawled onto it, spooning in behind the younger man.


Throwing an arm protectively around Renkotsu, Suikotsu pulled him close, breathing in the scent that was uniquely “Ren.” His mind too busy to easily fall asleep, the older man simply lay there, resting his cheek against the back of Renkotsu's head.

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