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1: Chapter 1-Intro
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Since this is marked as 'ROAST ME!' I'll give what criticism I can.
First of all, the fact that this was so short really bugs me. I feel you could have written more than just 2 paragraphs. It leaves me hanging, and usually that's something some authors want at the end of their chapters.
But this is way too short to leave someone hanging, I don't even know whats going on here, and why this man is running for dear life. If I was a mean person, I would say that this is the stupidest crap I've ever read, and I wouldn't want to read it again.
But, I think it has some hidden qualities to it. It's interesting so far, but that might not be the same case with the majority of the people who read this. I would say give it more meat.
Give me the setting, time of day, and you could maybe even describe his surroundings a bit more than you did here. Give me some hints as to why he is running away, and from whom?
12:04PM, Jun 5, 2009 GMT
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