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Comments for Chapter 1

Ooh!!! me like! please finish it or at least update it! can't wait to see how this story develops!
(PS, hate to be negative but it's kind of... choppy? Slant )
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It sounds intriguing so far. I'd like to see where you go with this before I make a real comment though. I'll be checking for updates.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!

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