Failure - Chapter 1

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by puddingtreat

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A 15-year-old Albel attempts the Ascension of the Flame ceremony, but it isn't going as planned. Oneshot.

Random drabble I thought of, it's not very long

Random drabble I thought of, it's not very long. Constructive critism is welcome, but I'm not a very experienced writer, so please be gentle. Flames are not constructive critism, and will be ignored.


Eyes the colour of crimson were wide open in shock. Salty tears were forming behind these eyes. A mouth was open, but there was no sound. A silent scream. A scream, that noone could hear. Sweat poured out of the pores in his skin, but he was oblivious to the heat and the roaring inferno around him. Ears were deaf to shouts and screams, save for one. A scream that would echo in his head for many years after.

He couldn't move. He was stunned, paralized. Time itself seemed to have stopped. A figure of a man just above him, preventing the flames from getting closer to the teenager's body. The fire consumed the man above him, like he was being erased from like.

Words and sentences haunted through the teenager's head.

"I can do it father, I'll make you proud." so much confidence.

Desperately he reached out for the man above him. He didn't even feel the burning heat on his arm.


The scream was dying out, the raging inferno disappearing. The man above him collapsed, black and unrecognizable. Burned skin looking like leather. It lay motionless.

"...Father." his voice trembled. Tears started flowing over his cheeks.

"I can do it father! I'll make you proud."

He was deaf to the shouts around him. He didn't see people moving towards them. He only saw the burned corpse that was his father. Dead.

And it was all his fault.

He said he could do it. The Ascension of the Flame ceremony. He would make his father proud.

But he failed.

He failed because of his weakness.

Because of his arrogance.

Because of his over-confidence.

And his father paid the price. His father died in his place, while he should have.

Because of his failure.

He was a failure.


Tell me what you think. Good? Bad? What do you like, and don't like? That's where the review option if for Wink

-- gemelli

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