Ziggy vs. Farmer's Market
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Ziggy finds himself a farmer's market and shenanigans ensue.
“This is the strangest apple I've ever seen.”
The young man in charge of the little market glanced up from his book, quirking an eyebrow. “…What?”
“This apple,” Ziggy elaborated, holding up the foreign fruit so the young vendor could get a better look. “I've never seen anything like it. It's awfully squishy, too.”
The boy frowned. “Dude, seriously? That's a tomato.”
“Atomato.It's not an apple at all. Not even close.”
“Tomato.” Ziggy repeated, tasting the word. It felt weird on his tongue…definitely not like an apple. “Why do you have so many of them laid out? Aren't you worried about them being stolen?”
The boy scoffed, scooping his book up again. “Not really. Hardly what I'd call worth the effort.”
“Well then why have them out? They're yours, aren't they?”
“Yeah. I'm trying tosell them,smartass.”
Ziggy hardly saw just how one's posterior end could be gauged by its intelligence, or how he managed to give this boy any sort of information that would allow him to pass such a judgement. He shook it off; Must be an Earth thing. “What is `sell'?”
“Wh- Are you kidding me?” The boy tossed his book away, sitting up. “Selling is when I give you stuff for money.”
The vendor sighed, reaching into his back pocket. He pulled something out - Ziggy recognized it as a wallet - and he extracted from it, getting to his feet to show Ziggy. He held up a green piece of paper, with an odd face on it, and numbers. “See?” He asked, shoving it in Ziggy's face. “Money.”
Ziggy's eyes lit up. “Oh,dollars!”He cried delightedly. “I know what dollars are! Cody told me you use them to buy things!”
“…Yeah.” The young man agreed. “This isn't a dollar, though. This is a twenty.”
“A twenty?” Ziggy asked. Now that he mentioned it, this dollar did look a bit different from the one Cody showed him.
“Yeah, this is worth twenty dollars.” The boy explained. “You're not from around here, are you?”
“No, sir.” Ziggy said, and held the tomato up again. “So I'd need dollars to have this?”
“Yes.” The boy said, sighing with relief. Finally, a breakthrough. “You need two dollars for that tomato.”
Ziggy look deflated. His stomach grumbled. “But I don't haveanydollars.”
“Then you can't have the tomato.” The boy snapped. This was a waste of his time. “No money, no food. Simple as that.”
Ziggy sighed, staring mournfully at the forbidden fruit in his hands. He couldn't bring himself to let it go; It looked delicious, and he wasstarving.He looked back up at the angry vendor. “Well…how do I get dollars?”
The boy, who had since returned to his book, scoffed irritably. “Get a job.” He grumbled.
“How do I do that?”
Was this kid serious? “Look around and see who's hiring.” He snapped. “Look man, if you're not gonna buy anything, get the hell out of my stand, alright? Make way for actual customers.”
“Are you hiring?”
“Can I have a job here?”
“Are you out of your mind?!” The boy cried, “You don't even know what a tomato is!”
“Yes I do.” Ziggy argued, and held his up again. “It's this thing. You just taught me that. You could teach me all the other fruits here, and the dollars you need to buy them. I promise I'd work very hard. I could work all day, and then you'd give me the two dollars for this tomato, right?”
The vendor raised another skeptical eyebrow. “…You'd work here all day for a tomato?”
“Well, I'm very hungry.” Ziggy explained mildly. “I've never had a tomato before, but it looks very good. Will you let me have a job here? I promise I'll work hard.”
Whatever heartstrings the market stand vendor might have had must finally have been tugged by Ziggy's naive persistence. Sighing, he got back to his feet.
“Well how the hell are you going to sell what you don't know? Get back here, I'll show you around. Bring your tomato.”
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