Don't know how to feel
This doesn't contain mature content but it does speak about death and depression. (Also Critical Role Series 2 spoilers, oddly enough).
My Step-dad passed away Thursday morning.
I'll be honest, it hasn't sunk in yet. I didn't even know his cancer had come back (my brother R hadn't been told he'd had cancer in 2017) and it was 'he's dying' then the next day 'he's dead'.
I haven't cried yet.
I've cried several times for Molly and he was a character. He was a character I identified with and had a lot of affection for as Taliesin Jaffe brought him to life.
And then he was gone.
I barely see my step-dad.
Saw, my step-dad, so I guess that's part of it.
My relationship with my mom is... complicated. She lives in town but I hardly ever see her.
So I see my step-dad even less.
I don't know what's gonna happen to my mom. An accident a few years ago left her unable to use her legs and I don't think she can take care of herself alone. I am not physically strong enough to help her, nor have a way to get to her (I don't drive) and I don't remember who of my half brothers and step-brothers still live at the house. I know my step-sister moved out when she got married but no idea for the others.
And again, I don't know how to feel.
I was angry at my mom for making me tell my brother M (they hadn't talked in years) and not letting me give him her cell phone number (he lives across the country with our dad and step-mom for mental health reasons). Brother R isn't sure where he'll get the money to fly in (across the country but also north, he is married too).
And right now I feel... nothing.
Okay, I feel like a jerk. But I've not processed what this means yet.
So yeah.