Revenge, a dish best served up: Chapter 1

Revenge, a dish best served up by the Shichinintai!

Author’s notes: The following was written to cheer up my friend, Notoes, who was getting very frustrated with a certain art site and is a whimsical “what if?” scenario based on a series of emails we had.

Oh, and before I forget, no actual websites were harmed except in our imaginations...

Notoes sat her computer and logged in. She checked her email, eager to see if the Hentai Factory got back to her about her latest submissions.

“Urd-chan... Kira... adinuyasha...” She growled at the Viagra ad that ended up in her inbox. “How many times do I have block that crap?” Looking through the twenty messages, she spotted it. “Yes!!!”

She clicked her mouse on it and opened it.

“WHAT?!” Notoes exclaimed as she scanned the email’s contents. “REJECTED AGAIN?!”

Loki sat up and looked at his mistress. His ears were perked forward and he looked as though he was desperately trying to figure out what was bothering her.

The petit brunette patted her dog’s head. “It’s okay, Loki, just those idiots again.”

Loki wagged his tail and settled back down at her feet.

“Bastards...” Notoes said softly as she clicked open an email from her friend Urd-chan, hoping it would cheer her up. “That’s more like it.” Notoes smiled. “Good... I’m glad...” she read through the email muttering little comments to herself. “Hunh? She got another pic accepted?! But it’s just a quick sketch of the WIP she was telling me about.” Notoes resisted the urge to bang her head on her keyboard. Heaving a long suffering sigh, she clicked the reply button.

“That’s great! I’m glad DA hasn’t pulled your Kikyou drawing. I really like that one and I can’t wait to see the Miroku. So Hentai Factory accepted the rough sketch you sent by mistake. HAHAHA... That’s funny. They liked my Chrnos plushies, but I still haven’t heard anything back on that Inu/Kag one I sent in. I’m sure I’ll hear back from them soon...” Notoes typed before hitting send.

She read through a few more emails. The petite brunette had a good laugh at the picture of the two rabbits Kira sent her and she spent the afternoon emailing her about her fics and how to get Jakotsu to behave again. One thing lead to another and as all roads lead to on the net, the subject of “hentai” came up, or rather, the “Hentai Factory.”

“I sent in that Inu/Kag pic I was telling you about, the one I worked so hard on for Urd-chan. They rejected it! I don’t know how many times I’ve retouched it and submitted it only to get it back with something else wrong with it. Although it’s always something vague that I have to figure out what they think is wrong with it.

“Oh, I have a whip you might want to use on Jak. The other people I beta for say it works really well when a character’s acting up.”

Notoes hit send only to have a reply back a few minutes later.

“They rejected it again? Did you ask them to clearly state why? That’s why I hate sites like that. Elitist bastards!! *growls* Hmm... I wish I could send my boys after them. *laughs*

Notoes sat back in her chair and smiled at the mental image of the Shichinintai demolishing the Hentai Factory. She quickly typed a reply back to Kira.

“You know that might not be such a bad idea. I bet they’d enjoy blowing it up and demolishing the place. So I take it Jak’s behaving himself now that you have the whip?”

Notoes hit “send” and surfed the net while waiting for a reply.

On the other side of cyber space, Kira looked up from the fic she was typing. “Jak, what do you think you and Ban would be doing next?”

“Ummm... what are we doing now?” The ghostly form of the cross-dresser peered over her left shoulder.

“You’re both hanging out talking about marriage.”

“I’m going to get married to Aniki-chan?”

“Because... Hang on a minute...” Kira said as she clicked on the window that popped up. “It’s Notoes!! She wants know if that whip worked.”

Jakotsu laughed “I don’t know; I haven’t tried it out yet.”

“I think I’m supposed to use it on you.”

“Calm down, Sweetness. Kira, just have us tease Ren about it.”

“Hey, Notoes, the whip is working just fine! I haven’t asked them yet, but I’m sure they’ll be happy to do it,” Kira typed in reply to the email.

Bankotsu chuckled as he read over her shoulder.

“I meant the Hentai Factory, not Jakotsu,” Kira said dryly.

“Either one sounds fun to me.”

Kira laughed. “I knew you’d like it.”

“Hentai factory? Aniki-chan, why is she,” the cross-dresser spat the word out like it left a bad taste in his mouth. “Sending you to a whorehouse?”

The ghostly form of the leader of the Shichinintai shrugged. “I don’t know, she’s the author and who am I to complain?”

Kira let out a long suffering sigh. “The Hentai factory isn’t a whorehouse, Jak. It’s an art site with ‘naughty’ pix on it. Like YGallery.”

“Oh...” The cross-dresser smiled.

“Yeah... And they’ve been giving Notoes a hard time with her art. The only thing they liked was her Chrno plushies.”

Jakotsu giggled. “I liked them too.”

Bankotsu rolled his eyes. “Yeah, you would,” he said dryly.

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a job for you guys. I figured you need a break from my Jakotsu-centric stuff.”

“You’re actually giving us a break?” Renkotsu said came over to them.

“Yeah... You’ve been a good boy, Ren, putting up with his crap, so I figured I’d reward you.” Kira laughed along with Renkotsu.

“Why’s she and Ren staring at me, and laughing, Aniki-chan?” the cross-dresser whispered.

“She’s just chatting up Ren again. You know she has a soft spot for him,” Bankotsu whispered back.

“More like soft in the head if you ask me,” Jakotsu whispered peevishly.

“She just feels sorry for him.”

“She feels sorry for Mu and you don’t see her chatting him up,” the cross-dresser pointed out.

“That’s true, but then she also feels sorry for Jaken and you should see the stuff she’s written for him.” Bankotsu shuddered.

Jakotsu made a face. “I don’t want to...”

“It’s better you don’t. You might get ideas about Sesshomaru.”

“Yeah...?” A smile slowly spread across Jakotsu’s face as he thought it over.

“Hey! This Sesshomaru’s a real taiyoukai now and not above kicking your miserable excuse for an ass.” Sesshomaru’s ghostly form looked over the back of the sofa and glared at the cross-dresser.

“And if you piss him off, Sweetness, you can kiss that lip gloss good-bye,” Bankotsu added.

“Guys, please, tone it down...” Kira leaned back in her computer chair and look up at the ceiling. “You’re giving me a headache.” She checked her email. “Oh... I thought I saw something pop up...” Kira said to herself as she hit open.

“You think the guys wouldn’t mind blowing up the Hentai factory? *snickersnort*”

Kira laughed. “I think they’d love to do it!”

“Do what?” Suikotsu said sleepily as he walked downstairs into the den where Kira’s computer was.

“Blow up something for Notoes,” the petite fan-author said. She quickly typed back a reply.

“I’d rather stay here and play with Aniki-chan, Kira. Can’t Ren go do it?”

“I’m sure he could, but how much nookying can you do?”

“Plenty! Aniki-chan’s the best lover!!”

“Hey! I’m pretty damn good in the futon, if I may say so myself.” Bankotsu picked up Banryuu and lovingly stroked it. “And I’ve got the huge sword to prove it.” He grinned.

“That he does...” Jakotsu purred.

“Oh, I’m sure he does,” Renkotsu said dryly. “I just don’t want to hear it.”

“Guys! Behave!! Or I’ll write some really nauseating Inu/Kag fluff, that’s so full of sappiness it’ll give you a toothache, plus it goes on for at least seventy five chapters before I get to the long drawn out ending complete with five epilogues and did I mention I was planning on making it a Harry Potter cross-over with some Naruto thrown in? I figured Sasuke’s emo-ness is the prefect compliment to Snape’s.”

Three of the four Shichinintai, standing there, looked like they were going to be sick and Sesshomaru picked up Rin to shield her from the wrath of the petite fan-author, while Jakotsu burst into tears.

Kira simply sat there, taking in their reactions, while wondering if it was time to stop writing and pick up drawing again.

Hitting ‘send,’ the email traveled the length and breath of cyberspace before landing in Notoes’ inbox.

The petite brunette was about to log off when she decided to check her email one more time. Sure enough, Kira’s reply was sitting there, at the top of her inbox. Opening it, she read,

“Hey notoes!! I told them about the job you wanted them to do but Jak’s balking. I even tried threatening them with some stupid cross-over fic, but I’m getting nowhere. *sighs* And the whip’s not helping.”

“Tell Jak, he has to follow Ban’s orders and Ban has to follow yours or no nookie until further notice. I think it’ll work better than threats of a fanfic they know you’ll abandon after five paragraphs.”

A few minutes later, Notoes had a reply.

“*laughs* It worked!! Jak’s dragging Ban there as we ‘speak!’ *laughs* Ren got a bit whiney about it too, but he’s gone after I got behind him and gave him a push. All that lifting of heavy objects at work has finally paid off! *laughs* I think if Sessh wasn’t busy amusing Rin-chan, he’d have gone too.”

The petite brunette laughed.

“Glad I could help! I knew that no nookie clause would work! *snicker snort*” she typed.

A few minutes later Kira had typed back, “Yup!! And thanks for looking this over!!!” and sent her friend her fic for betaing.

Notoes decided to try submitting to Hentai factory one more time. Calling up an internet browser, she typed in “Hentai Factory” into the search engine and waited. Seconds later a four-oh-four error appeared. “What the...? It was working before.” She tried again and got the same error. Emailing Kira back, Notoes asked if would mind checking the site out for her. Minutes later, Notoes had a reply back.

“Hey Notoes... I tried that link and they seem to be down at them moment. I’d wait a bit & try again later.”

Notoes frowned, annoyed that she had to wait to try submitting her art again, Loki picking up on her anger, got up and put his head in her lap. “It’s okay, Boy. It’s just those idiots at Hentai Factory again!” She sighed. “Want to go for a walk?”

Loki barked as if to say, “Sure, Mom!”

On the other side of cyberspace, Kira was having tea with the ghostly form of Hibiya Jackson’s mother, who busy telling her all about her son.

“Haha-ue, must you tell her that?”

“But it was such a cute story, Jak,” Kira said as his mother smiled.

“Hey, Kira! We’re back!!” Jakotsu called out from the top of the stairs leading into the den.

“You don’t have to shout Jak, I’m right here.”

“I wasn’t shouting...” Jak said, and looking up, his eyes went wide when he spotted Jakotsu.

Hibiya-san wore the same expression on her face.

“Who’s he?” the two Jakotsu said in unison.

“Uh... well, ummm... he’s Jakotsu of the Shichinintai,” Kira indicated the ghostly form of the young man in the kimono. “And this is Hibiya Jackson-san, also known professionally as Hibiya Jakotsu-san.” She stopped typing long enough to flick her wrist at the older cross-dresser in modern dress. “You’re both kind of the same the guy. Do you remember Eternity, Jak?”

“Well, you started it out and Jak, here, did the middle. The other Jak, from the end, lives in Vega-chan’s head, so he’s not here.”

“And things get even more confusing-”

The AU Jakotsu laughed. “I’ve got a ‘Bankotsu’ too.” He winked at Bankotsu.

“Yup! I even ‘marry’ you two off.” Kira giggled along with the AU Jakotsu.

“Kira-chan as much fun as my mother and I have had, I think it’s time we were leaving,” he said.

Kira sighed. “Okay, I guess keeping the two of you straight’ll get crazy after awhile. I’ll see you later, as we have a reception scene to write.”

“Will do! Bye!” The ghostly forms of the AU Jakotsu and his mother faded from view.

“Hey, Sweetness, you look really good when you get older.”

“Yeah...?” Jakotsu said huskily as he pulled Bankotsu close.

“Oh hell! Must you two always behave like rabbits?” Renkotsu’s ghostly form grumbled.

“Well, Kira did promise them some nookie if we took care of the Hentai factory,” Suikotsu pointed out as he came down the stairs and into the den with Renkotsu.

“I did, Ren. Don’t worry, I’ll write you something too.” Kira started typing when a window popped up; indicating a new email from Notoes was here. “Cool Notoes got back to me.” Kira opened the email.

“Hey kira, I tried again to get into the Hentai Factory with no success. I wonder what’s wrong with the site. Usually if they go offline for some reason they put up a hiatus page. You don’t think your boys had anything to do with it?”

Kira laughed and looked over at the ghostly forms of the Shichinintai. “The Hentai factory is ‘closed’ for business. You guys didn’t have anything to do with it, did you?”

Jakotsu pulled away form his lover and sauntered over to Kira. Smiling sweetly, he leaned in and purred, “Wouldn’t you like to know...”

“Ban?”

“Well, you did order us over there.”

“But nothing...” Bankotsu grinned. “Now I believe you owe us a lemon?”

“Yeah... but first I need to get back to Notoes about this.” Before typing her reply, Kira gave the site one last look and sure enough, it still down. “Damn...”

“Hey Notoes!” Kira typed in reply. “I just checked and HF is still down. My boys are back & they’re all wearing these HUGE smug grins on their faces. Ban claims I ordered them over there to take care of the place, but they’re not real so how could they do it...?

“PS: AU Jak was here when Jak came back. Oh man, I wish you could have seen their faces... I swear I could hear Jak’s brain cells frying! AU Jak was highly amused by the whole thing too! *laughs*”

Laughing as she hit “send,” Kira started working on the lemon she promised Ban and Jak while the email traveled through cyberspace.

When it reached Notoes, she opened it, laughing as she read it. “I have no idea...” she said out loud. “Maybe it’s one of those unexplained things,” the petite brunette clarified for Loki, who looked at here strangely, before settling at her feet. “You know, Loki, like Bigfoot, the Bermuda Triangle, the Loch Ness monster and now fanfic characters destroying websites...”