Searching for forgiveness: Chapter 1

Searching for forgiveness

I will never forgive  myself for what happened to you
I know it was my fault
Two years have passed since that dreadful moment
When I watched as you slipped away from this world in my very arms.

“I’ll never hear the sound of her laugher again!”
Mad and sobbing, I shouted out to the man who took you away from me.
Now, slowly my heart being filled with disdain.
My eyes reflecting pain and longing for revenge.

Even after your departure you helped me fulfill my destiny
I became a hero in our world
But still there was something missing
Something that no one else could give me but you

I knew you loved me
But I was too stubborn and childish to say “I love you too”.
Now I live my life with regret and guilt
Pacing around where your smell and presence still lingers
Where I can feel you and beg you for forgiveness

The screams from my mind don’t let my heart heal
Thoughts of regret and fear
That don’t let me get close to the people that love me
Too loud to even hear my hearts deepest pleas

A new threat is brewing in the horizon
This time you are nowhere to be found
And it is because of me
Because of me you’re gone

I have tried to move on,
To follow destiny’s flow  
But there’s no use because every time I’m reminded of you
And the pain is consuming my heart and turning it cold

That’s when I decided to go to the place where my sorrow was born
Trying to look for a way out of the dark prison that is my soul
Looking for redemption, looking for you
Standing along  the crystal clear lake that is your tomb
Seeing my reflection in its water and suddenly I notice a sparkle.




I feel something or someone resting on my back
Then I hear your sweet voice
You my darling, you my forever lost love
Shivers running up and down my spine when I heard you
And when I felt you.

You said “You came even though you were about to break”
I wanted to see you, I hoped you would be here I said
“Why did you come?” you asked me
I want to be forgiven, I answered
Another question came from your lips “By who?”
By you, it was my fault that you are not here anymore
“Silly boy, I’ve never blamed you
And I always knew you loved me too.”

I return now to the place where all our friends await
Everyone praising me happy with my return
I hear you say “See, everything is fine now”
I close my eyes, the scream from my mind is gone
I can finally hear  my heart in so long
I know now that I’m not alone
And that it was your love that carried me along.