Stabnta enters your yard

Back on my bullshit...

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He weaves through the treacherous obstacle course you have carefully constructed in the no man's land that is colloquially known as "your backyard." Little did you know that Stabnta has trained his whole life for this very situation. Faux police sirens sing through the air. Cacophonies of glitter erupt from cannons. A spray of snow dances around his nimble feet as he maneuvers his lean mean stabbing machine of a body away from the various pitfalls. A festively wrapped explosive narrowly misses hitting him in the face. You watch in horror as he confounds every single obstacle and trap you have so painstakingly constructed and tested. He locates and steals your precious loot.

 "Better luck next time youtube sensation and ex NASA engineer Mark Rober!" he yells as he unceremoniously scrambles up your perimeter fence into the neighboring yard.

Disappointed and if you're being a little honest, feeling a bit offended, you run your hand across your face and collapse in a frustrated heap. You clasp your hands together and take another long look at the wreckage that remains. Oh well, there's always next year.