The way you work with a pencil is really beautiful. You have nice line weight.
Watch out with the head placement. By your original drawing, it looks like his neck is coming out of his left shoulder. So you might want to draw in the neck and move over the head. See attached sketch.
Watch out with the head placement. By your original drawing, it looks like his neck is coming out of his left shoulder. So you might want to draw in the neck and move over the head. See attached sketch.