As Pazazz said- I think that having highlights on the outfit would assist alot, even if it's a minor sheen. Not sure if you intended to do that. I like the top though ^^ Very gothic looking. I reckon if you gave it some seem highlights and stuff this'll be totally wicked ^^
Oh noes!! OnO Copic marker type pens? If you use zeta paper for them, they don't bleed ^^ Or a white pen on top If its too white, you can always smudge it transparent a little ^^
Ohhhh... not good. You're better to go with a cheep indian ink than shapies. In half a year's time, that picture will taint the colour of anything touching it- I had huge issues with sharpies on clear leaf folders- tainting the sleeves. They great for looking through art, but when you change the page, its tainted yellow over the sharpie area. IF you want to stop the bleeding however, if you leave a thick black line, that'll stop the ink bleeding cause it's already bled. It's still WAY better to ink it though :< Even cheep ink in alot nicer finish, and will last alot longer. Sharpies ARE very convenient though ^^
And I used to have white gel pens, but I cannot find them anymore.