Chapter NaN: Valentine's Day Rant
I hate February 14. This day, and the ones I have to pay taxes, is the worst. Valentineâs Day is such a scam anyway. The advertising companies shell out millions in stuffed animals, chocolates, obnoxious commercials, sappy cards, roses, and the other so-called romantic garbage contaminating the shelves the second New Yearâs is over.
And all of it for happy couples to stroll around hand in hand, giving each other flowers and chocolates while the single look on in nausea or envy. Hate this holiday, I seethed, glaring at a box filled with heart shaped chocolates.
âDaddy,â the sound of my three-year-old daughterâs angelic voice pulled me from my angry musings. I glanced down to meet a concerned pair of emerald eyes identical to my own. Every time my eyes fall on this girl I felt a thrill run through me. It was humbling to recognize features from my unworthy self in this sweet, wonderful, caring girl that had brought life and light back into my existence.
âYes?â
âAre you okay?â she asked.
âIâm fine,â I promised, tweaking one of her white braids. I was used to hiding my opinions and my emotions from others, and wouldnât allow an impressionable three-year-old to see how bitter her father felt about this particular holiday.
DĂ©sirĂ©e giggled and clutched at my hand. I curled my fingers around hers as we walked down the cereal aisle. Sheâd woken me earlier that morning to say she was hungry. Iâd rolled out of bed and headed into the kitchen to make her some breakfast, only to find that our food supply was critically low. To feed her Iâd decided to brave the frantic last minute shoppers, sappy couples, and the decorations.
Surprisingly I had yet to encounter obnoxious couples. That thought was squashed as I saw a young man and woman standing near the chocolate heart display. She had a white teddy bear covered in pink hearts clutched to her chest, fawning over it as if it were made of gold. âOh, darling, itâs so adorable!â she squealed in a high-pitched voice that set my teeth on edge.
âJust like you, angel,â he replied tenderly. His loving expression as he brushed a lock of blonde hair behind her ear made me cringe.
âDaddy, can we find the teddy bears like the one she has?â DĂ©sirĂ©e asked. She loved stuffed animals and it was difficult to resist her requests for new ones. Mostly because sheâd discovered my weak points: piteous begging and pleading eyes.
âNot now, we need to finish our shopping first. Once weâre done Iâll take you to the teddy bears.â There was no need to tell her that Iâd already purchased her roses, a Valentineâs bear, and a box of chocolates. As much as I hated this holiday I wanted DĂ©sirĂ©e to be happy.
She nodded, content with my answer, and didnât bring up the subject again. Instead she helped me load groceries into the cart. Iâd hand her a box and she would stretch as high as her little frame could go before dumping the item into the cart. I passed her a box of cereal, smiling fondly as my little helper deposited it into the cart.
âAlright, weâre done with this aisle. We just need milk and⊠oh da-,â I cut the curse off since Iâd resolved to clean up my language around DĂ©sirĂ©e.
âYou should have written a list,â she said, laughing as she ran up to me and caught my hand. I tousled her hair, ignoring the strange looks we received. People stared at her bone-white locks before turning their gaze to my jet-black hair. How strange, their eyes said, that a child would have white hair at such a young age. Everyone assumed I dyed mine, which was irritating.
I pushed the thought away. Focus. âI think we just need the milk.â The other item we were supposed to get had slipped my mind entirely. Knowing my luck Iâd recall it as soon as we were home.
âAnd bread,â DĂ©sirĂ©e reminded.
Damn. Sheâs right though⊠I should start using grocery lists. Prove that Iâm a responsible father.
âWe just need bread and milk, then weâre set.â Unless Iâd forgotten something else. I assumed I hadnât since DĂ©sirĂ©e didnât correct me. She merely nodded and skipped along at my side, white braids bouncing against her coat as I pushed the cart down the aisle. Eventually I scooped her up, supporting her with one arm while she clutched at my coat. âHow about I carry you for a while?â I had no problems letting her walk when we were in the aisles but merging into the main stream of foot traffic worried me. She was so small⊠what if someone didnât see her and ran into her with a cart?
Adjusting my grip on DĂ©sirĂ©e, I let go of the cart once weâd reached the milk. I opened the door and reached for a carton of 2%, but stopped as I recognized the head of familiar silver hair a few feet away from me. âSilver?â I asked, sounding surprised as he turned. My brother wasnât the type who would neglect his familyâs Valentineâs Day gifts until the last minute. Nor would he shop on a holiday like this since it meant less time was spent with his wife and twins.
He looked equally astonished to see me. My hatred of Valentineâs Day was not a secret. âHello, DarkArrow. What are you doing here?â
âJust getting groceries.â I set DĂ©sirĂ©e down and took out the milk, watching as she rushed over to Silver and threw her arms around him.
âUncle Silver!â she said happily. She adored my brother and he smiled, kneeling down to wrap his arms around her.
âHello, DĂ©sirĂ©e. Are you having a good Valentineâs Day?â
âYes!â She loved shopping. That would become a problem when she was a teenager. Ugh. Teenagers. I shuddered at the thought.
âSo what are you doing here?â I asked Silver.
âGetting a few items. Ril and El expressed a craving for quesadillas,â he explained. The twins were nine and theyâd be turning ten in four days. âI know youâre probably busy but could you watch the twins from five-thirty to seven tonight? I have reservations at Xuneâs favorite restaurant but we havenât been able to find a babysitter. Everyone else is going out to eat tonight.â
âSure. Just make sure youâre back by seven though.â I indicated DĂ©sirĂ©e and mouthed, âtaking her to dinner.â My reservation was at seven thirty so if Silver showed up on time, which he was since he was quite punctual, weâd have plenty of time to reach the restaurant in time.
âOf course. Iâll tell Xune and the kids that youâre coming over.â He gave DĂ©sirĂ©e one last hug before picking up his basket of groceries. âIâll see the two of you later,â he said, waving as he walked away. After his departure I picked up DĂ©sirĂ©e again and took her over to the bread aisles.
âCan we get raisin bread?â
âSure.â I took a loaf of raisin bread off the shelf and put it in the cart before fetching a loaf of wheat. Now all I had to do was pay for the items, then I could take DĂ©sirĂ©e back home and give her the Valentineâs gifts. And feed her.
âReady to go home?â I asked. She nodded and I set her in the cart seat before pushing it towards the checkout line. As I unloaded the groceries onto the conveyer belt I noticed the registers had been decorated in red and pink ribbons. Heart-shaped balloons hovered near the bags. Worthless holiday, I seethed. My bitterness on this holiday grew with every passing year.
This particular Valentineâs Day was especially difficult. It was my first Singleâs Awareness Day as a parent. Iâd won full custody over DĂ©sirĂ©e back in September. For the first few weeks guilt had constantly torn me apart. How could I have been unaware that I had a daughter? And worse, that her mother was the cruel woman that had ripped my life to shreds.
* * *
âClose your eyes, DĂ©sirĂ©e,â I said. She cast me a curious look but obeyed. Weâd just finished eating a late breakfast of French toast. The dishes were taken care of, the groceries had been put away, and it was time for her to receive her Valentineâs gifts. âKeep them closed until I say open,â I added as I started to back out of the living room. She nodded and I checked to make sure she wasnât cheating before disappearing into my room. Her gift basket was on a high shelf in my closet. I pulled it off the shelf. Inside were some new games, a box of chocolates, and a dark red teddy bear with a white heart embroidered on its chest with âHappy Valentineâs Dayâ embroidered in red.
I hooked the basket over my arm and went into one of the guest rooms to take out the bouquet of red and white roses Iâd bought yesterday. Armed with DĂ©sirĂ©eâs gifts, I returned to the living room. âYou can open your eyes now.â She did and shot to her feet as she saw what I carried.
âThank you, Daddy!â she said, rushing over to hug me. I grinned and knelt in front of her, handing her the basket. She hugged the teddy bear against her but the action didnât fill me with irritation, unlike when the blonde woman had clutched a similar bear. Nothing DĂ©sirĂ©e did could ever disgust me.
âHappy Valentineâs Day, DĂ©sirĂ©e,â I said. I leaned over to kiss her forehead, setting the wrapped bouquet in her basket. For her, I would be happy instead of bitter on this day.
âHappy Valentineâs Day, Daddy.â
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