ha, thanks moondemon, yeh i can understand where you are coming from. but i really rather refuse to make it heart-felt, i'm just going to tell him that it's been bugging me that i've never said anything that night so i'm going to tell him now, i really just want him to be my friend, this ignoring thing is a lot more painful then others may think...anywho, i know face to face is more personal, but as for private, he can just as easily open his mouth and tell others about it, and in either case that would just show he's a (profane word ^_^) even his friends would realize that, and even though he dumped me, i still know enough about him that he wouldn't do something like that...lol, and no, i'm not being naive ^_^. but my main reason is that, i just plainly don't have that much courage, i can't even bring myself to try and meet his eyes, which wouldn't work anyways because he's always avoiding mine...anywho, i've been through that, and under pressure, i stutter, brain stops working, i wouldn't say everything i need to, and at times, i'd break down and cry...^_^ believe me, that has happened even though there was nothing wrong, i was just talking to someone under pressure...
but yeh, thanks though
*scratches head with a smile* haha, thanks emmet, naw, someone's word is never too late, and i agree with you, if something happens then it's meant to be, that's how i thought with other relationships, if it doesn't work for one person then there is no way it will work for the other, i don't much believe in leaving your fate to well...fate...but i do believe there is someone for each person. that's probably what really helped is knowing if it doesn't work, then hey, it doesn't work. but what i left unsaid, is for him to decide how he feels, but either way, i'm not expecting anything, i've already went through the pain for the first two days, i forced myself to realize he's gone, instead of playing around with possibilities, hey, i cried myself to sleep, but i also forced myself to move on for the most part because my friends, one they are really annoying when they constantly ask if you are alright ^_^ yeh, they are great, but also, why should i be the one to bring them down.....then again i'm in my happy mood today so hey! it works!
anywho, i just have to deal with regret, sure i still miss him, but he's still there, he's not gone, he's just not mine...as odd as that sounds...anywho, point is, i still get depressed, thus why i talked about it to others, and again, you are right, it really does make a little more sense to wait to tell him....mainly cause i'm a woos, but also, it does seem too soon, it would feel more like trying to get him back instead of just telling him what i think he should have heard in the first place...right...now that i've done enough me myself and i...^_^ again thank you! this really did help me, still wish i had a car and could just drive though....*sniffs*
