*insert the mr Burns Excellent*

I have a new confidant.

He is called Scruff.

When i get a decent picture ill post one of him in my image folio or something. hes soo cute. Ive wanted a pet for ages now. i spent a lot of money getting him but i didnt want a starter cage and got this awesome plastic one that has the wheel on top, it even moves in a circle when he runs in it, awesome huh?

Ill get pictures of the cage too ^^

The petshop gave me the bedding and food etc when i bought it so i dont have to worry about that just yet. ill get him  a ball tomorrow if i have the spare change and pow. One furry fluffball that is all mine buahhahah.

Though if he doesnt drink from his bottle ill have to put it in a bowl for him and find a new container for food.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQqTb1NI4iQ for a video of the ikkle hammy

I want to run away...

i cant

If i did even if it was during my break from Uni I'd loose my job..

Thats the only fear keeping me in England right now, i have the money, i could easily flee..

but then what after? Thats my problem.

Alas

I broke down in uni on monday, waterworks and sobbing.

im breaking, cracking under the pressure.

I thought things would get better... now they just arent

Im still questioning my entirety.. i really need to get the courage to talk to a councillor about the gender issues i have... Dont think its because of my preferences.. but this has been going on for years. sometimes i really wih i was a lad, i mean id be a lot different cause of upbringing n the lark but still.. Even as a kid id pretend to be my own twin brother called John and preferred to be like that.

Personas aside it bugs me a lot when im feeling down.

more and more i want to draw things too, but i cant even get anything looking half decent out. I cant write anything cause i clam up, typings similar when im not ranting like this. My DS is the only thing helping me sleep at night, playing Phoenix wright games till i wanna launch the player. I cant even be bothered with my PS2 or DVDs which is rare as heck for me.. im a gamer with any excuse normally.

Well.. i recently got nightwish and managed to get the album i heard years ago so thats been fun to remenice with.

Yes yes, attention seeking i know, but im asking for help this time.

If you think badly of me ignore this, if you have any suggestions of how i can help myself id appreciate the spurring on... Being at the end of your teather so much doesnt help anything

POSTED IN THE WRONG PLACE WEEKS AGO

Dont begin to ask why the sudden pull at my lexis even challenges my own mind. I fear my hands take to keys and pens more than pencil and paper.

I am still battling with certain items and pannels which define the comic i am now lagging in creating. I only hope for chance to catch up for i am not going to rush the pages, i may be one now but soon three.

--

Yeah things at home are screwey... im now supporting myself and my mother and im cracking under the pressure.

Artblocks will be more frequent and replaced by writings and hopefully forum posts when it is time to unleash the creativity needed to reply to some of the Role Plays that i do have set up.

Im not turning this into a rant no matter how much i want to but i will let everyone know whats kinda going on.

Im not sure when ill be at full swing again and when i am, youll know about it.

For now i bid you farewell. i will be poofing in to glomp occasional people here and there but well... C'est la vie