usually at the beginning of football season, everyone is excited about the first game which is against Katy, a school we used to beat all the time but now can't. everyone knows that if we beat katy at the beginning of the season, the rest of the season is going to be a breeze. out of the ten games we play, not counting playoffs, katy is the only one we lose to. we've won state championship once; katy has won it six times.

but today we played against them. i just got home from the game. we lost 31-6. it's sad, really. the players were rude, yelling at us trainers for no reason. the coaches were mean to the players, yelling at them and calling them unappropiate things. many people got injured. there was a fight between two of our players: D.T and Bennett. Head coach was pissed. Sexy legs was yelling like neve before. Red bull's face was red with anger. Fundraiser was just ignoring the players. we were yelling at each other, squeezing between sweating players, running into the field during time outs, sucking up to the refs, and trying to pump up the crowd.

one of our own got hurt. katy was in offense, doing a pass. the pass was too long, aiming for the sidelines. i was standing between a brick line of d-linement players and a coach. as soon as we realized the players in the game were about to rush intot he sideline, coach opened his arms wide and protected me with his body. a player picked up petite Pepper and almost threw her away from the wrecking train of players. there were three katy players and four of us, all trying to get to the soon-to-be out-of-bounds ball. Cathy was looking, but the players behind her weren't. she tried to move back but she was squeezed in between the players-which are huge-and the uncoming destruction. her ACL is torn.

two minutes later i look up from my best friend's knee and see Lady Doc pulling a screaming woman away from the Uncle Doc. i hear the fans screaming at Lady Doc. something about suing the school, firing the coaches, beating up the katy players and stuff.

i look to my right and see a player crying into a trainer's shoulders, Daddy Doc holding him and a second trainer examinating his leg: a broken malleoli. out of the season. senior. this was his last game and he lost it. no wonder his mother was yelling. but it was his fault. he knew he was injured and chose to not wear his ankle brace.

i guess im just writing this to convey what i'm feeling right now. a mixture between dissapointment and excitement. we lost the first game but the season has started. The Mighty Mustangs are roaming the mountains again, so watch out you Deers, Bulldogs, Bears, and other mascots.

ETRTW

(Earning The Right To Win)

you may wonder why the title of this blog is the team. well, the team is the football team, my football team. you might find it weird, but i really get time to think about a lot of stuff during practive. take today for example:

i was getting water by the water caddy whent his player comes next to me and starts drinking water. he's looking around thoughtfully and humming. i pay him no mind.

he turns to me and suddenly says "You know what i never realized, Angel? I am a people person. when i am surrounded by people, i feel happy and excited. when I am alone, i feel all stressed out. take yesterday for example: i cried myself to sleep."

now, i don't know what to say to this. after all, he just said something really personal, so i just smile stupidly.

"You don't belive me?" he grins. "Its' true. i just found out that my uncle can't play football anymore. His knee is jacked up. This is the only reason why i haven't quit the team. remeber when i told you that i wanted to quit? now i can't, because i am going to live my uncle's dream for him and play football."

now that i thought about it, i did remember him saying something about quitting football last year. guess now i know why he didn't quit.

"Well, stay true, cutie," he says, grinning and walks off.

i stare at him, surprised. he is always goofing off and joking around, so much that i thought him an airhead. i have never realized what a special person he is.

while i am stading off, thinking about writing these events in my blog, i look over and see him staring at the turf (fake grass) longingly. the coach  calls his name and he looks up dejectedly, but only for a second. that beautiful smile of his reapers and he runs into the field, yelling like a mad dog. the rest of the team takes on the chant and the coaches, feeling their players enthusiasm, start yelling encouragement.

i laugh and shake my head. He truly is a people person

sometimes i wonder whether i have a weird mind. a lot of people, when i ask this question, tell me to find the definition of normal. but i think, if no one is normal, then aren't we all normal? if everybody is weird, strange, or odd, aren't we all, in this same world, normal compared to the person besides us? 

Is it weird that I'm thinking about this? 

Sometimes i wonder about religion. sometimes i wonder if there is life outside this planet. Do vampires exist? Do Greek gods? can the wind feel as it touches the life of millions of people all trying to fit into one normal life. people want to feel that they belong in a group, yet at the same time, they want their individuality to be noticed. 

I am not that different.

We all want to feel special, to be different, yet accepted. We all want to feel. What about those things, objects, libes, that feel yet we never notice? The earth feels when our naked feet touch it? Those fire hear the shilling screams of a person burning? Those the sea see the last bubbles of breath excaping from a drowning man's mouth? Why do we want people to see us, hear us, notice us, when we ignore everything that already makes us a part of a whole.

Listen to me. Now i'm just rambling. this fingers dance on the keyboard, seperate from my mind. I read this words and I think, is this really what is going on inside my head? Is this really what I feel? I think about erasing my words, but I'm afraid. Afraid that after I'm gone, no one will ever hear what I have to say. Afraid that when I click the log off button, this words will disappear in an endless influx of data. 

For I am not special. I am not normal. I am not alone. There are million of people thinkin the same thoughts in different languages, in different contexts, but still the same thought. And I think to mysefl: is it really possible to be alone in a world with 6 billion people? Do I really have nothing in common with any other person in the world?

Maybe I should just stop or I won't be able to sleep. Ha. I better log off before I jump into the depths of my dreams. Those are things that really make me think