Sharing is Caring

You know how sometimes you get excited over something and you really wanna show someone that something because, in your mind, it's damn epic and the coolest shit there is? (At least in that moment?) And their curiosity seems to be piqued and you're so ready to show them while at the same time wanting to keep this epicness to yourself? And finally you're going to show them but wait...what's this? They're leaving? (As they keep doing earlier and earlier as of late...) I'm living in that moment right now.

The person tells you to feel free to show them and send it in a message, but as soon as they said they were leaving, you kinda switch right from "OMFG, I AM SO SHOWING YOU." straight to "Oh, alright then. The time has passed in the blink of an eye. I'm good. My courage has just flown out the window so...never mind. Bye! Sleep well!"

Yup. That's me right now.

Excitedness - GONE

Feeling of Epic Proportions - DEFLATED

Courage - PISSED ITSELF AND RAN OFF

Oh yes. Moment foiled, crushed, flattened back out and then shredded into the tiniest bits the world has ever seen. Meh. I don't even know why I was going to show my boyfriend the exciting thing anyways.

Maybe it was because he says that I write well, but I generally only write depressing things. It's true, yes, but it's what I write well. Not my fault. But I DO write so much more than depressing things. I really do. And I did this MASSIVE poem-dump over the past few hours and I still have so much more to post. Thought I would give it a rest for a while...But anyways...I've semi-abandoned DeviantArt because it bores me lately (I'll go back, just give it a week.) and I wanted to post my stuff where NO ONE knows me AT ALL. So, I did the massive poem-dump and there's a lot of love poems and there's still more normal and non-depressing poetry I have to get from DA, and I wanted to be all like "Hey! Lookie here! I'm not entirely depressing in all that I write! SEE?!?!" and I really wanted to show him the stuff I have posted to RedCurtain because I don't normally show people my "sexy poetry" and I felt like showing him. But that courage, as previously stated, has pissed itself and ran off. Yuppers. Sure has.

Blah. Oh well. Maybe in a few months I'll want to again and the moment will pass and then I'll start the cycle all over again until I just scream and pull up the damn page while he's here at my house and say "Look if you want. I don't care. It's all crap anyways, because I suck at writing." in an incredibly exasperated tone because it kind of bothers me that he seems to think that all I write is depressing things. That kind of sucks, really. And, to be honest, it kind of hurts even though it shouldn't. It's not like some debilitating wound, no, but it still kind of hurts.

Whatever. I'm probably just being whiny, right?

I'm hungry. I think I'm going to go raid the cupboards in silence for something to eat. Though I don't have any snack foods, so I wonder how this will pan out...