by myself: Chapter 1

TITLE:
AUTHOR: Kichi
PAIRING (if applicable): n/a
RATING: R for language
WARNINGS:
NOTES: Drabble 58 "all by myself"
ARCHIVE: www.geocities.com/kichisama666/index.html
SUMMARY: Bulma let Vegeta in on her feelings toward him and he bolted. Some of her thoughts...
WORDS: 262


He's left me, gone for good this time, I know it. His eyes widened in shock at first, then narrowed in disbelief and suspicion.
"Why say this to me? I don't know what love is! What does it matter to me what you love even if it supposedly is myself?" he took a step back as I reached out to him. "You have nothing to gain from loving me, so stop!" he commanded as if I could just turn it off, make it stop. I wanted to, I did!
I cried, "It hurts me to love you knowing you care nothing for me, not even wether I live or die! Why wouldn't I stop this if I could? I can't help myself! I want you, and no one else, forever! That is what love is! That is what I want and knowing it will never happen can't make it go away. I'm fucked no matter what, and the only thing I would 'gain' as you so rudely put it, is you! And that would be enough, don't you get it? This isn't extortion, or blackmail! It isn't a bad thing!" I tried to explain even though I knew it was useless. Emotions always sparked anger in him, seeing others display them freely when he had been forced to hide them for years angered him. The though of feeling the same scared the shit out of him. I knew I shouldn't have told him, but I had to. I had to let him know. And now he's gone and I'm all by myself.