Desolate Memories: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters.

            Song "My Immortal" by Evanescence.

 

 

Desolate Memories

 

Why Kakarott, why did you have to go and leave me here all alone. You have changed me so much. Helped me loose my cold and unfeeling shell, and found the kind and loving person beneath. But now you’re gone and I have no one.

 

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

 

 

But I still feel you everywhere I go. I dream of you every night; dream that you will come back to me. I see your face on every shining smile. Your memory is haunting me. I love you so much!

 

 

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

 

 

It hurts me deep inside every day that I wake up and you’re not beside me. At night I cry myself to sleep, wishing I could hold you in my arms once more. I would do anything to be able to spend one more day with you. Just one is all I ask. I would die to go to heaven with you, but when I die I won’t go to heaven, I’m going to hell.

 

 

Each day I try to numb my sorrows with drinking, but nothing can ease the pain in my heart. No matter what I do the pain and sorrow is always there.

 

 

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

 

 

All those nights that we spent together. The good and the bad. I was always there for you and you were always there for me. Those few times when your endless smile faltered and you cried, I was there for you to cry on, to support you, to bring you up from the dark place you had fallen. When you were scared I would protect you. Everyone always thought of you as the fearless hero, but even the hero needed someone to rescue them from time to time. I rescued you. Time and time again; whenever you needed me, I was there. And now when I need you more then ever before, you have abandoned me. I wish I could just move on, but I can’t and I never will. When you died you took my heart with you, and I shall never be able to love again.

 

 

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

 

 

Did you know I dream about you every night? Dream of that day you left me. My dreams used to be full of laughter and happiness. We had such wonderful dreams together. Futures we had built, in which we were intertwined with each other. But now all my dreams have come crashing down. And at night all I have are nightmares.

 

 

I am always hearing you calling out to me. Through our house I chase the ghost of your voice. It always leads me to our room. And when I get there I realize it was all in my imagination. And that this has really happened. I want to wake up from this nightmare. To live in bliss with you once again. How perfect our lives where. To bask in the warmth and glow that is you.

 

 

It was that beautiful light of goodness, which drew me to you. How you were the complete opposite of me; you completed me. You were my everything: my life, my happiness, my heart, my breath, my reason to live, my reason to keep going, my reason to love. Now I have no reason. No purpose at all. I am alone again, and I can’t take it anymore.

 

 

Oh Kakarott!!! Kakarott!! Come back to me love!! Please!!! I can’t live without you! I can’t be without you!

 

 

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

 

 

Everyday I look forward to seeing your smiling face. And every day I have to come to that realization that I will never see it again. That I will never see you again. I will never hear your sweet voice again. You will forever be in my heart. But I can’t take it alone anymore. I’ve gone on suffering long enough. And there isn’t a chance of you coming back to me. So what is the point of living in this sea of pain. Wave upon wave constantly crashing into my black, broken, bleeding heart. I am alone once again, the way I was meant to be. I was born alone, I lived alone, and now I shall die alone.

 

 

Goodbye my beloved. Maybe one day we shall meet again. But I highly doubt it. There is no hope for me now. Goodbye my Kakarott.