Right back at chai: Chapter 1

“WHAT! I can't believe he'd dare do this to me!” screamed Frieza.

He shot a concentrated ki blast through the chest of one of his soldiers, instanly killing the messenger of bad news.

“I give him an inch of my territory, and he takes a whole fucking galaxy! That rat bastard! That cum guzzling asshole! That mealy mouthed taint vermin!” Frieza continued on with his tirade as his men watched on with morbid fascination.

Included in the crowd were three of his most treasured men: Zarbon, the androgynous and beautiful first mate of his beloved space ship; Captain Ginyu, the horned and powerful leader of the most elite killing squad under Frieza's charge; and Vegeta, the arrogant rouge prince.

Frieza, it a fit of hysterics, began selecting unfortunate soldiers at random to rip apart. When one wasn't in within immediate reach, he tore apart his own furniture. Profanity flowed from his mouth as his childish pissy fit raged on.

“I'll kill him,” Frieza declared somberly. His men had hoped that their normally cool and collected master's temper had leveled off. It had not.

“I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!” he snatched a scouter off the face of a corpse. “You hear me, Cooler? I'm going to fucking kill you!”

He threw it down to the ground, effectively smashing it to bits. His fit had left his voice scratchy. He needed something to quench his thrist.

“Vegeta! Bring me a chai latte! NOW! And may the gods of every religion have mercy on you if you forget to bring me biscotti with it!” he ordered.

Vegeta's handsome face set itself in a sneer.

“Servants work! Now I'm forced to do the work of a damn servant!” he complained, but turned to leave regardless. He was offended, but would not risk his life by not performing Frieza's request.

He stood at Frieza's barista equipment, fixing the drink Frieza had ordered.

“I'll show you a fucking latte…” he grumbled, flicking sugar packets with his fingers. Behind him, a bevy of broken furniture, ki blasts, and body parts were chucked across the room.

He placed his Lord's orders on a circular tray and carried it back to the center of the carnage.

Besides Zarbon, Ginyu, and Frieza himself, only a lone soldier remained. Frieza panted, worn out from his tantrum. The single soldier stood shaking and ready to wet himself from his intense terror.

“Call every available solider from sector 7 and have them report to Cooler's ship. I don't care how many people have to die, I only care that my fucktard of a brother is one of them!” he bellowed. With that, the frightened solider ran out of the room, thanking any deity that cared to listen his life had been spared.

Frieza watched as the Saiyen prince entered the room carrying his food on a tray, balanced in his hand over his shoulder. Vegeta stopped before his oppressor and presented it to him.

Frieza immediately took one of the cookies from the tray. Vegeta watched with a quirked eyebrow as Frieza noisily chomped it down, slurping as he did so. It was not well known that Frieza would turn to food in times when he was in severe need of comfort.

He took the other biscotti Vegeta had gotten for him, as well as his hot drink. He nearly inhaled the other cookie before taking a swig of his latte. He glared over his cup as Vegeta grinned at him.

Without warning, he hit the bottom of the tray the Saiyen had been holding sending it flying. The smug grin had faded as Vegeta feared he may be the next victim of Frieza's rage. Yet, Frieza only finished off his drink before throwing the cup at the prince's feet.

As it shattered, Vegeta held his palms out in front of him, signaling he had not meant his master any disrespect. He stepped back to join the other two men.

“I'm going to the buffet bar. I'll tear apart this whole damned universe to get my revenge if I have to. But for now, I must get it at the bar,” he nearly whined as he stalked out of the room.

The remaining soldiers shared a sweat drop as their 'oh so mature' tyrant of a leader walked out.

“I can't believe he's this upset over a nearly worthless galaxy!” said Zarbon.

“I can't believe he's going to call forth so many men to get even with Cooler!” said Ginyu.

“I can't believe I spit in his drink and got away with it!” exclaimed Vegeta.

The other men turned to stare at Vegeta, who was beaming. They blinked twice before erupting into hysterics.

For an arrogant bastard, Vegeta was certainly amusing.

Insomnia gives you weird thoughts, I guess. =.) I always imagined Vegeta would pull stunts like this as way to get even with Frieza.

I stuck this in RC due to the profanity. Does it belong here? I guess yes if the swearing offends someone. Who knows.