Mask of Identity: You Are Important

Eighteen-year-old Yukio sat on his bed, staring through his dark blue hair and glaring at the wall from across his bedroom. It had been weeks since Mother's last visit, but she had come again, if only to argue with Master Anzai.

 

Yukio couldn't stand it. He wished to turn off his ears.

 

"Stop avoiding the matter at hand," his mother's voice carried down the long hall that led to his room. "Yukio isn't happy! I can tell by just looking into his eyes! He's sad, Anzai, and it isn't because of me!"

 

"He's a teenager," Master Anzai replied. "How many teens do you know that are truly happy? Not to mention the fact that Yukio has a lot more responsibilities than other kids. How can you expect him to be happy all of the time?"

 

"I know his destiny, and that's what worries me most… Yukio isn't at all like his father. He's quiet, withdrawn, and when he's not training or studying, he spends all of his time either locked up in his room or off who knows where by himself. He even avoids speaking! It breaks my heart."

 

Yukio pulled the curtains around his bed to try and distance himself from them. Who did they think they were, talking about him as if they knew how he felt? So what if he found being in the company of others unsatisfactory? Was there something wrong with that?

 

"Listen to me," Master Anzai's voice lowered. "What's wrong with Yukio can only be fixed by Yukio. No one can help him until he finds it. It's the only way he can become a complete Isshin. Until then, I can only help him along that path."

 

"F-finds what?"

 

"It doesn't have a name. Stop asking questions about things you don't understand. You don't know how he feels, so leave it alone. He will come to this by himself."

 

"But what if it's too late?"

 

"It won't be," Master Anzai told her. "He may not broadcast it like the other Isshin, but Yukio is very smart. You know that. It's not his intelligence that I'm concerned about; it's his confidence. He doesn't think very highly of himself. He's constantly underestimating his skills and putting himself down. Before he can succeed, he needs to realize his full potential."

 

Yukio looked down at his hands and flexed his fingers. The arguing had suddenly stopped, and he knew that it would be any second that Mother would fly in, throw her arms around his neck and tell him how much she missed him.

 

He heard the door open and listened to Master Anzai's soft steps as he crossed the floor over to Yukio's bed. The curtains flew open, and Master Anzai stood above him, staring down at him with stern eyes.

 

"Yukio," he said. "It's time for your training session. Meet me in the main hall in five minutes." He turned to leave.

 

"Where did Mother go?" Yukio asked.

 

"She's resting. You'll see her at dinner."

 

Before Yukio could blink, Master Anzai was gone. He fell back onto his bed and stared up at the ceiling. Though it had been over a year since he had made any sort of improvement, Master Anzai still insisted on daily training. It had come to the point where Yukio was so frustrated with his lack of progress, that he had stopped practicing on his own.

 

Unwillingly, he pulled himself up from the bed, tugged on his robes, and made his way down the hallway and out into the main hall that resided toward the front of the house.

 

Master Anzai and Yukio were not the only two people who lived in the large house. Master Anzai's master, who was now in his late sixties, and his wife, lived in the left wing. Yukio didn't see them that often… or maybe it was because he avoided them. He wasn't sure. Then again, he tried to avoid Master Anzai, as well, but Master Anzai was somehow always able to find him. And it was usually when he didn't want to be found. Yukio found it highly annoying.

 

When he arrived in the main hall, Master Anzai was already standing at the end, waiting for him.

 

"Sit," Master Anzai said when Yukio stopped in front of him.

 

Yukio knelt on the floor.

 

"Look up at me."

 

Their eyes met, and Yukio tried not to gulp. Master Anzai's intimidating gaze was stronger than usual.

 

Your mother is worried about you. She thinks you're too withdrawn. You need to find a solution to this problem and resolve it by tonight."

 

"Tonight!?" Yukio exclaimed, his voice echoing off of the high ceiling. "What do you want me to do about it?"

 

"I don't care what you do, but you need to make her fears disappear. That will be your assignment for the day."

 

Yukio looked away. It sounded to him as though Master Anzai was using him to do his dirty work. He could feel Master Anzai's eyes burning into the top of his head.

 

"It's your fault she's so upset," Master Anzai told his student. "If you can set her at ease, then you can have tomorrow off from all your studies."

 

"What about now?" Yukio asked, looking back up at him. "Do I still have to train? Or can I go and think about how the hell I'm going to convince Mother that I'm a socialite?"

 

Master Anzai's gaze held strong. "Don't say things like that," he ordered. "And I don't want you sitting in your room for the rest of the day. You'll go outside, bring some paper and a pencil and write your plan. At five o'clock, you will give your plan to me, and I will approve it. If it is unacceptable, then you'll have until six to improve it. At seven, we will all eat dinner and you will carry out your plan. Is that understood?"

 

Yukio tore his eyes away. "Yeah," he mumbled. "I understand. You want me to go outside so Mother won't think I'm locking myself inside my room. You're afraid she'll see how I really am, and she'll bring me back to live with her."

 

"Be quiet!" Master Anzai demanded. "Your mother knows what's best for you, and that's why you're here with me. I don't know how many times I have to tell you, Yukio, but I'll say it again. Isshin do NOT live with their mothers. And if they do, they do not become the ruler of this kingdom."

 

"And who says I want to be ruler…" Yukio muttered, his eyes glued to the floor.

 

"Stand up."

 

Yukio blinked. "What?"

 

"I said, stand up."

 

Yukio didn't have another moment to think, because Master Anzai grabbed a hold of his robes with both hands and pulled him up to his feet. Blue met blue, and they stared at each other.

 

"Listen to me," Master Anzai said, his voice low. "You'll never amount to anything with that attitude. I've watched you become more and more frustrated with yourself when you can't perform simple tasks that the other Isshin had mastered a year before, and I saw how hard you tried to catch up… but you're doing it to yourself! When you believe that you can't do it, chances are you won't. When you tell yourself that you're not worth anything, you won't be! Yukio… you have to believe in yourself. You have to keep pushing yourself until it happens."

 

"What? What happens!?" Yukio demanded as he grabbed Master Anzai's hands and pushed them away. "You'll never tell me what's supposed to happen! It's like there's just going to be this sudden revelation, and I'll understand everything you're trying to tell me. But I don't understand, and I'm sick of waiting! It's not easy to believe in yourself when you can't even do anything!"

 

Yukio could feel Master Anzai's eyes staring into him. "You have it backwards… but I've ran out of ways to try and convince you."

 

"Good!" Yukio exclaimed. "Then you can leave me alone!" He spun around and made his way to the hallway that led to his bedroom, but slammed face first into an invisible wall.

 

"I told you that you have to go outside today," Master Anzai said from the other side of the room. "I'll bring you your papers in a little bit. I want you to sit in the garden and think about what I've said."

 

Yukio spun around on his heels. "I'm eighteen!" he yelled. "Stop treating me like a child!"

 

"Then stop acting like one!"

 

Yukio stared at him in shock for a few moments, and then stormed past him and out the front door of the house. He tore around the corner and threw himself down on the stone bench in the very corner of the garden. He liked it best because it was nearly surrounded by thick bushes and no one could see him.

 

He knew that Master Anzai would never give up. He would always be breathing down Yukio's neck until the day he died. Yukio plucked a leaf from the hedge and tore it into tiny pieces. He didn't know what he was going to say to Mother, but he knew it had to be good. Master Anzai wasn't fooling around.

 

"Here."

 

A pile of papers suddenly appeared before his nose. Yukio swiped them from Master Anzai's hand and turned his back. He would never get over how quickly Master Anzai was always able to find him.

 

"I didn't mean to insult you," Master Anzai said suddenly.

 

"Are you apologizing?" Yukio demanded, not bothering to look at him.

 

Master Anzai set a pencil on top of his pile of paper. "No. I just want you to understand how important you are. Not just to your mother, but to this entire kingdom. You have to take yourself seriously!"

 

Yukio glared down at the bright white paper.

 

"But if you don't convince your mother that you're making progress, she's going to take you out of the running."

 

Yukio spun around to look at him. "She can't do that! Isshin don't belong to their parents… they belong to the kingdom."

 

"Don't you think I know that? I'm talking about bringing you home with her. And if you stop your training now, you'll never learn. Do you really honestly want to see another Isshin as ruler?"

 

Yukio shrugged. "I guess I don't care."

 

Master Anzai stood up straight, his eyes flaring. "I am your master, Yukio, and you will do as I say," he ordered. "Get started on your proposal and bring it to me by five 'o clock. I don't want to hear any complaining, or any excuses. Understood?"

 

"Yes, Master," Yukio grumbled as he picked up the pencil and then watched his master walk away. "I hate being an Isshin," he said once he was sure Master Anzai was out of earshot. "I wish I were normal."

 

He propped the paper on his lap and began to write, but nothing was coming out right. He could only think about his childhood and how Master Anzai had seemed so different back then. How was it possible to love someone, yet hate them at the same time?

 

*****

 

Anzai locked the door to his study and sat behind his desk. As much as he loved Yukio, the boy was being far too difficult. If Yukio would just open his mind and let it come, he would be so much better off… but no, Yukio was so stubborn and so analytical, that nothing ever came naturally. It was time to give him a big push, Anzai decided.

 

He took out some paper and began writing a letter.