So Much For Emos: Chapter 1

Max could already tell that something was wrong. James had not stayed in bed until Max woke up. As he got up and dressed, he noticed a few things missing in their room. He walked out of the room with his gun, senses sharpened to detect the first sign of danger. There was a movement near the fridge, Max shot once. Before he could see where the bullet went, he was on the ground and disarmed looking up at his cocky husband. As James' head moved, Max noticed a smoking hole in the ceiling. “What have I told you about using the fridge as target practice?”

Max sighed, “Not to. But you have to admit, the fridge seems sturdy enough…”

James gave Max a Look. “…This is our 56th fridge, in three years…”

“…You buy fridges without me?”

Now James gave Max another type of Look, which seemed strangely like a death stare. “Only `cos you blow them up! You're meant to be a cop, for Christ's sake! Aren't there laws against vandalism and arson?”

“Only if their done by someone who doesn't own what ever it is that's being destroyed!” An indignant Max yelled back.

“I bought them so they're MY 55 fridges! Why don't you bother to buy a new fridge when you get tired of the one that's currently in the house? It should be your job anywho, `cos you're the one that blows `em up in the first fucking place. And I thought I was the criminal here…”

“Well if you would only tell me how bad the damage is when I sober up, I would buy a new fucking fridge when ever I get drunk enough to blow our fridge up!”

“…Touché…” James looked defeated. Max knew he was just playing up anyway; James loved actually having someone intelligent enough to shut him up in the house. Being the only one to win arguments got boring after a while… “Anywho, why the fuck are we arguing about fridges? Come on Max, I made breakfast for you.” The fact that James actually helped Max up after one of their infamous skirmishes was the second fact that brought back Max's earlier suspicions. Usually Max had to threaten to cook himself to get breakfast that was not a microwave meal (as Sam would tell you, Max is a terrible cook. Sam “can still remember the screams” ). “Max, this is our fifth anniversary. I just wanted to do something different.” James successfully made Max relax. One good thing about solid transparency was that if a solid transparent trained up enough, they could decipher body language very well. If they trained up as much as James did, they could read anyone and any scene in front of him like an open book.

“Sorry for being an asshole, James.” Max walked over to his breakfast and sat down to eat. After breakfast James announced that they were going across Japan (specifically, the Honshu Island) for some relationship anniversary type fun. Max started to get unnerved again when James grabbed the car keys. James did not drive a car unless he wanted to drive Max to a place he would not like. Max sighed and followed James, already dreading the destination Max knew James had planned even though James was making this seem so casual.

The drive itself was quite pleasant; the transition from Japanese cityscapes to the countryside was astounding. Max had seen it so many times on his way to the scene of a crime committed on a beach. Max froze. His eyes widened, he could not stop thinking about his husband's betrayal. How could James really be so cruel as to drag Max to a beach? He may be a thief and an assassin, but Max thought he had James wrapped around his little finger. Surely that could not be James' plan…

“James…”

“Yes, Max?” James seemed too carefree.

“…You're not taking me to a beach are you?”

“No, ofcourse not. I know you hate beaches.” There. Max caught James' indignant but dull metallic gold eyes. A shapeshifter's eyes changed with their emotions, only powerful shapeshifters could get their eyes to mimic colours of moods they were not feeling. But since they lacked the passion of a real emotion, the eyes became a dull colour. Shapeshifters as powerful as James could put a metallic sheen in their eyes to trick everyone else into thinking it was the passion shine. Max had been looking into James' eyes long enough to discern whether the shine was from real passion or the metallic trick. James was lying. Max decided to see why James would go so far.

“James, I know you're lying.”

James' eyes changed to shiny watery blue. “Max, please. I know you don't like beaches but please, for me. At least give this one a try. It's a private beach.”

“Owned by whom?” Max narrowed his eyes.

“…Let's just say, I know for a fact that it's a deceased estate.” James never outright admitted to any crimes in front of Max. Max stated before that he could never arrest James on mere suspicions, so basically their agreement was that if James did not admit to anything he could stay out of jail.

Max sighed and James a Look. “James, if you cain't respect the living, at least have some respect for the dead.” The fact that Max had slipped into his hybrid Texan/Aussie outback accent that his supernatural ties had attributed as his “home tongue” (whenever a supernatural feels enough of any emotion, they are said to become so overwhelmed that they can not speak any language they have learned. Whatever their supernatural ties have claimed as their home tongue is the language they were said to have been born to speak so they slip into that when overwhelmed with emotion) alerted James to the fact that Max was getting more pissed by the minute.

“Max, please! You know I wouldn't ask you to go to a beach if I thought there was no hope of you ever liking the trip. Besides, it's a private beach. Thought we might like to try somewhere different.” James winked. Max finally caught on.

“Lol, have you finally given up on getting me to have sex with you in public?” Good sign! Max had slipped back into his pure Aussie accent.

James gave Max another Look (they seem to like those Looks >.> ) “Nope, but I know it won't be today.”

When they finally got to the beach, Max realized they did not bring anything with them. “…James…I hope you're not thinking what I think you're thinking…” Max could see some thought processes happening in the shapeshifter, but did not like what he saw one bit. All of Max's thought processes went out the window when James' soft lips met Max's in a rough, highly arousing kiss. James broke the kiss only to lazily drag his tongue around Max's jaw line and neck before moving back to his mouth and demanding entry with his tongue. Max was in such a state ecstasy that he did not notice his trademark trench coat fall to the sand. Nor his jacket, or his belt. He only noticed that he was losing clothes when James broke the kiss again to lazily drag his tongue down Max's neck and chest as he unbuttoned Max's shirt. Max did not care anymore. He wanted James. James had finished teasing Max with his shirt.

Then Max suddenly felt alone and cold. He looked down and saw he was totally naked and embarrassingly erect. He looked around and saw James running full pelt towards the water with Max's pants whilst somehow managing to strip himself as well.

The cocky bastard had dacked him! Max could not believe it, James had made him wary, disarmed him, scolded him, dragged him to beach, seduced him and dacked him! This was the last fucking straw. He ran after James in a fury not noticing at all the coldness of the water, or the affect it had on his erection. James was looking back at Max and was smiling until he saw just how furious Max was. He knew he had crossed the line. James also knew there was only one thing he could do. He glomped Max and started actually crying.

“I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I thought it'd make you laugh, you seem so pissed off from work lately and it killed me to see you like that! I only wanted to make you happy again!” James looked so pathetic and fragile that Max no longer had the heart to be angry.

“Hedonist…” James looked up, slightly confused at the use of his high school nickname. “If you wanted to make me happy, you could have just had sex with me.”

“But, Bastard, we have sex every day. It just wouldn't feel like I was doing anything special. I decided to think outside the box.”

Max thought for a moment. “Okay, howse about we have sex now, get dressed and tear up Osaka in our respective drunken rages, I know that requires us to get drunk. That's the point.” James stopped trying to interrupt and looked at Max now with a look of understanding. “Anywho, drunken rages and blow shit up, THEN come back here to stick our heads in sobering cold water and go skinny dipping in the moonlight. It flatters us way more than the sun does.”

James was just about to protest that Max was biased against sunlight, when he remembered that he was a vampire himself. Though he did not burn like Anya did, he still was way too light sensitive for skinny dipping in the sunlight to be practical. Now that he actually noticed it, he was already getting too hot and dehydrated. “Okay. That's a great idea! Now, onto more important matters. Seme or uke this time?”

Max almost laughed, but then how could he expect anything less from the satyromaniacal hedonist? “Seme, then uke.”

“'Kay, sounds good.” James started his evil plotting for when he would be seme whilst Max proceeded to tease him then fuck his brains out.

Author's Comments

As you will find out, I love adding in comments at the end of my stories explaining what the hell happened or anything else I think needs explaining. You don't have to read the comments, but if you have any questions, these might help to answer. By the way, the story has ended incase you didn't notice.

Holy crap it was four pages! >.> I must have liked writing this one. I must admit, I was laughing when James dacked Max! ^_^

Anywho, I added in references and explanations of the random workings of my mind and the people/supernatural races that lurk there to save me writing it here. If you have any questions, 'cos I don't think some things were explained very well, feel free to leave it in the comment you give me.

On that note, please comment and not fav and run. I need feedback to see if you people's actually like my stuff and to see if I need to improve. Also, please don't tell me I suck at writing erotic stuff, this was my first attempt at anything even slightly erotic. ^_^

Your tired author: Kathryn