Damn Weak Walls (BBXRae): BeastboyXRaven

As Raven was passing Beastboy's room, she noticed something odd. The door was closed and locked (a sure sign that Beastboy was inside), but the room was silent. Her curiosity was overwhelmed by her aversion to people, so she forced herself to think nothing of it.

____

Throughout the day, Beastboy seemed like himself. On crack. And on a sugar high. On LSD. Given a big whacking stick. And told that everything around him was filled with candy. Except, he wasn't hitting people just simply attacking them with his abnormal (even for him) hyperactivity. Raven forced herself not to notice these abnormalities and buried her self in her book. Just as Beastboy was using his new found hyperactivity to increase his reflexes and win against Cyborg in the one video game the Teen Titans owned, Robin entered the room. “Beastboy…” Robin then saw that he was not going to get the changeling's attention as long as the video game was up. He walked over to the couch, picked up the remote, pointed at the screen and turned it off. He then tried to talk again, over Beastboy's complaints. “Beastboy…just shut up for a minute ok!” Beastboy figured he'd better listen. Robin went on when he was sure Beastboy would keep quiet. “Beastboy, we know how much you like Terra, and we can understand that you would want to see her again. But the fact is, Terra's gone. You could not have seen her…”

Beastboy exploded. “What?! I can't believe you would want to talk about that again! I thought we had been through this and already come to the decision that I'm crazy, or was temporarily. Just drop it Robin. You have no idea how I feel now, so stop pretending.” With that, Beastboy left the room. The Titans were wondering where Beastboy would go in his current state, a question which was simply answered by the sound of a sliding door being closed forcefully and a fist banging on it once. Raven could not ignore the change in Beastboy's behaviour anymore. She waited until the rest of the Titans were preoccupied with their predictable worried talk about Beastboy and what to do with him before taking action to those matters. She walked up to Beastboy's room, wondering what in the hell she was going to say to him and how she could expect herself to be able to help him. She knocked on the door. “Go away!” Typical, she should have expected that.

Raven decided that all attempts at kindly and subtly starting a healing conversation would fail so she would have to butt in. She phased through the door, tied Beastboy down with her powers and floated in front of him. “What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Beastboy yelled.

Raven frowned. “You don't use swearwords, Beastboy…”

“I do now. Now that you guys stabbed me in the back when I needed you most! When the hell have I ever seriously asked you guys to do anything for me? Anything I would expect you to do no matter what? The one time I ask you to believe me, as any good friend would, you don't. You throw it in my face! I can forgive that, but what makes it worse is that you keep bringing it up! You keep wanting to know why I abandoned the team during one fight because you don't believe I saw Terra. You keep thinking I can't have seen Terra, and therefore think that I am lying. But why the fuck would I lie to my best friends? When have I ever lied about something as important as this?”

“Beastboy, I do know how you feel. Trust me. Anyway, I haven't bombarded you with questions.”

“No, you just keep ignoring everything! You're as bad as them. If you know how I feel, then why don't you stick up for me or something?”

Raven sighed. “That would require me to feel. Feel emotions that I haven't felt since I left Azarath. You know how painful it is. How traumatic.” Raven stopped, she was on the verge of tears. Beastboy realized that she did know how he felt. She had loved and lost before.

“What happened to you then?” He softened his tone.

“I'm not ready to tell anyone just yet. That's just not who I am, I lock things up rather than let them out. It'll take a while before I can speak about it. It was only three years ago…” Raven made a habit of visiting Azarath when she could, especially after the Titans had defeated Trigon. She had to meditate and control her emotions even more now, and Azarath was the best place for her to take care of that.

Now that Raven sensed Beastboy was not going to attack her, she released him from her powers. They stayed in Beastboy's room for a while, just glad to have found someone to share their pain.

____

Over time, Raven and Beastboy grew closer. They were already closest to each other in the team, even if they didn't realize it. They started acknowledging their relationship and became good friends. Raven started laughing at Beastboy's jokes (which grew better each time) and Beastboy started to respect Raven's privacy and aura of mystery. The more he minded her, the less he had to mind; Raven started opening up quite a lot. The first time she told him of her past, she answered his previous question.

“You still want to know what happened to me?” Raven asked tentatively.

Beastboy stopped his attempts at getting into Raven's heavier music. He desperately wanted to, if not impress Raven then certainly receive more attention than he did. He didn't know why though, or what exactly he wanted from her. He just instinctively knew he wanted something more from her. “Ofcourse. I mean, my reason now is to help you as you have helped me to get over Terra.”

Raven smiled. You have helped me, more than you know Like Beastboy, she wanted something more too. Unlike Beastboy however, Raven knew what she wanted. “There was a monk from Azarath who was helping me to learn to control my emotions. He was married already though, I didn't have a hope. Another example, several boys that were the sons of the monks. If they ever found out, they all basically said that there was no way they could ever love a half-demon. I had given up on love, until one boy became my friend. I didn't have a crush on him at the time, and annoyed him as good friends do. I think I scared him too, but he didn't show it. I developed a crush on him over time. He was completely oblivious and was…already…” Raven struggled to find the words. “Not really, in love or with a girlfriend but…” She was not as crude as Beastboy had become.

“Fucking another girl, for the free sex?” Beastboy offered.

“Yes, I knew he didn't feel for her but it still hurt and I couldn't tell him I loved him.” Raven sighed. “Then the girl started wanting to fall pregnant, but he didn't want kids so she broke it off. I took my chances then, but he…” Raven choked, she tried to continue but couldn't find her voice. She could feel that if she opened her mouth she would scream at the boy's betrayal.

Beastboy sensed this too from her rapid heart beat and increased respiration. “You don't have to continue, I can guess what happened next.” Beastboy watched (and listened) in amazement as Raven gained control of her emotions, heart beat and breathing.

“No, you won't. The boy…” She struggled again but shrugged Beastboy off when he tried to comfort her and tell her to stop. “The boy then snapped. You've seen how I loose my temper. He did that, except worse. And directed solely at me. He…said that I was too scary and too much for him. He would dominate in a relationship but wouldn't be able to with me. He said he was hurting me for our own good. So that we wouldn't hurt each other's hearts by being in an imperfect relationship. I ran. The next day, the girl that broke up with him came back. He was too highly strung and killed himself. The pain in his heart was just too much for him.” She paused, pondering how to continue with her explanation. “The fact that love had me so many times, never really deterred me from being happy then. From daring to be happy in Azarath. Azarath's atmosphere can control my powers and lock them up if I tell Azarath psychically that the emotions felt do not require power behind them to let them out. I'll let out the emotions physically.” She explained quickly before Beastboy could point out she was never happy on Earth. Raven went on. “When I had proof that love is unbearable for some people, I became afraid of love. And happiness. It's why I'm never happy any more. Even though Trigon's dead, my powers are still very real and I do loose control when I feel too much of any particular emotion, including positive ones. You've seen me loose control based on negative emotions, the same thing can happen when I feel too much happiness.”

Beastboy was stunned. He hadn't realized Raven had been through so much, and had been unable to love anyone who would love her back. He hugged her until they both felt a little better after the disturbing revelation into Raven's past.

____

The friendship gradually developed further. It had been a year since Terra had come back to haunt Beastboy and he was completely over her. He was, however, going insane for another reason. He had fallen in love. This love was more passionate and heart felt then any other time he had fallen in love. He was in love with Raven. It was clear to him, though that Raven didn't love him back. He was used to this situation, what made it unbearable for him was the fact that the beast within him, that he had been able to keep under wraps since putting Adonis into jail, was resurfacing. He was able to fool himself when he was around that he merely lusted after her. But as soon as she was gone, he couldn't fool himself. He loved her, and she didn't love him back. Or so he thought.

Raven had also gradually been developing feelings for Beastboy. It was merely lust at first. She couldn't love. She had been hurt too many times for her to be able to love. But then, amazingly, she had started to love him. She would never admit it though; she didn't want to be hurt again.

One day, however, Beastboy could not contain his affections anymore. They were in her bed room, just talking casually. Then it slipped out: “I love you, Raven.”

She looked at him in horror. His hopes were crushed before he had had a chance to gather them. As he turned to leave, Raven grabbed his arm. Before Beastboy had time to figure out what was going on, Raven crushed her lips against his. “I love you too, Beastboy.”

If asked what happened in later times, neither of them would have been able to say, as neither of them remembered anything until Raven screamed. She had felt pain, Beastboy had hurt her. But this pain was different: her hymen was finally broken. When they realized that somehow they had become naked and Beastboy had buried himself to the hilt, Raven broke the silence: “Move.”

As Beastboy kept thrusting, Raven continued screaming though in pleasure. “Faster! Harder!” became her mantra. Beastboy yelled out “How much faster and harder do you want it, woman!?”

“Bring out the animal inside you! Trust me!” Beastboy was shocked at her words, but was caught up in the moment so had no choice but to oblige. The beast he had locked away since the Teen Titans had put Adonis in jail had already been fighting to come out and Raven's words sealed Beastboy's fate. His guards and walls were smashed down unceremoniously as the beast came through and went harder and faster than Beastboy could ever have managed. Raven was forced to feel more than she ever felt before. Which each thrust, her own guards and walls grew weaker until she lost all control of her powers. The darkness grew and objects seemed to move of their own accord. The beast released his seed as Raven felt pure ecstasy. Her shaking body seemed to tell her powers that shaking the building was what had to be done. Her powers attacked Titans Tower with such force that the whole building collapsed. In her last conscious act, Raven told her powers to protect all living things within the tower.

___

As the Titans all came to, they were shocked. Not because Raven and Beastboy were naked, the rest of the Titans had seen it coming. Slade was just staring at them, and Terra had hidden herself behind him. As Slade's jaw started working again and his voice came out in something other than squeaks he said “We'll come back later.” and left the Titans to build a new home.

The problem now was that the Titans had to build a special room that would be able to withstand Raven's powers…