We're Permanent: We're Permanent

 A/N:  Slight spoilers for COE in here, so beware……

 

 

 

                I move closer to the warm body in front of me.  Strong arms wrap around me, and I smile into his chest.  Jack is so warm, so soft compared to the raging storm that’s going on outside.  I can hear it pounding against the windows in my flat even in my half asleep state of mind.  Jack moves onto his back, pulling me with him.

                I rest my head against his collar bone.  My hand strays to his hair, running through it softly.  It’s soft and wavy in my hands, and I know that if he were awake he would push my hands away.  I kiss his shoulder softly.  My Jack…but is he really mine?  I push the thought away, even if he flirts with others, it’s only who he is, he always comes back to me, always. No matter what.

                I kiss his shoulder softly….I love this man.  Only him.  Does he know?

                Jack shifts in his sleep, pulling me closer at the same time.  He mumbles something, but I can’t make it out.  A soft whimper comes out of his mouth.

                I look up, there must be something wrong.  “Jack?”  Jack doesn’t dream about anything good.  There was his brother for a while, and there was the Doctor a few times, but never anything good.

                “Ianto!”  His sudden cry is loud even against the rain, and I jump softly.

                His arms tighten around me.  “Please not him, anyone but him!”

                He whimpers, and it hurts.  He sounds like he’s in so much pain, “Stay with me, stay with me!”

                “Jack?  Jack, please, wake up!”

                “No, don’t go, don’t leave me…  Please!”

                I try to sit up, but his arms are tight around me.  I grab onto his shoulder with the hand I was running through his hair, shaking it.  “Jack!  Jack, it’s okay!”

                I shake his shoulder rougher, but he continues to whimper. “Please, please,”

                “Jack!”

                His eyes open, wide and scared.  “Ianto?”

                I crawl out of his arms to take him in mine.  “I’m here Jack,”

                His head shakes and I can see the tears starting to form in his eyes.  His hands tighten their hold around me.  “Shh, Jack its okay,”

                His head shakes again as another sob racks through his body, “Ianto,”

                I kiss his head softly, “Still here Jack.  What happened?”

                “I thought you were…. You were all gone,”

                He’s hurting so much.  I hate it.  He makes me helpless.  “Who, Jack, who was gone?”

                He looks up at me, tears running down his face, “All of you, Tosh, Owen, you.  You were gone Ianto!”  Fresh tears start to fall down his face.

                I wipe them away gently, because I can’t start to imagine how much that has to hurt for him.  “Its okay, Jack, we’re all here.  Nothing bad happened, Tosh and Owen are probably shagging right now, and I’m here, I’m here, holding you.”  And then it hits me.  When he said gone, he didn’t mean gone, like gone from Cardiff, but gone as in gone.  Gone as in never coming back as in dead.

                I have to hold back a whimper; he needs me to be strong for him right now.

              He pulls me close, wrapping his arms tightly around me.  “Don’t leave me, promise, promise you won’t leave me,”

                I nod my head, kissing him softly.  “Promise Jack, I’ll be here when I’m ninety and you’re still you, still beautiful.”

                He shutters, “You’ll still be beautiful to me, Ianto.”

                I smile; he’s coming back to me. “I…I love you Ianto Jones.”

                I kiss him because he has no idea how happy he just made me.  Because I love him too.  I’ve been waiting.  Wondering.  “I love you too, Jack.”

                “I just wanted you to know, in case…”

                In case something happens.  I kiss his forehead, “I knew Jack, I always knew.”

                He leans up, kissing me.  “Ianto?”

                He looks up at me, his stormy blue eyes framed by his long eye lashes, and whispers, “Can you show me….show me that you’re really here?” He takes a small gasp of breath, “Show me that I’m not dreaming, that I won’t wake up and find you all…gone,” he ends in a whisper, afraid to even say that we died.

                He looks so helpless as he asks.  He is helpless.  If I just had the dream that Jack did, I’m not sure I would be able to handle it.  Jack gone?

                I caress his face, no.  Jack could never die, could never be gone.  He’ll always be here, always be mine.

                I lean down, running my lips across his.  His eyes close, almost pushing out the tears that are ready to fall.  I press my lips harder against his, showing him that I’m not going anywhere.

                His hands grab at my neck, not pulling or tightening, just holding.  Just pressing against my body.  I press against him, guiding our bodies down to the bed. His legs wrap themselves around me, just holding again.

                I trail kisses down to his neck, nipping and biting as his neck.  I’m rewarded with his small moan; his neck has always been sensitive.  I kiss back up, placing small, light kisses up to his ear.  I can hear Jack’s soft panting in my ear, and the high keening he makes when I run my tongue up his ear.  “I won’t go anyway Jack, I’m right here.”

                His head nods, but I can tell he still thinks that I’m going to disappear.

                I can’t think of anything besides what Jack needs.  To think that all the people you cared about…all of them dead.  My heart aches, it hurts.

                Am I dead then, in an alternate universe?  Does Jack live on for the rest of his years alone?

                I move down, trailing my tongue down his bare chest.  His hands have moved to the sheets, but every couple of seconds they twitch.  He needs to feel me, because even though he knows I’m here, the remnants of his dream still cling to him.

                My hand grasps at his thigh, just one more way for me to let him know that I’m here.

                I stop at his pubic hair, moving back up.  “I’m permanent,” I whisper against his taunt skin, “You and me?  We’re permanent too, Jack.”

                His hands grasp at my hair, no longer holding, but needing.  His thumbs run across my skin, his finger splayed across my ears.  I moan softly at the feeling.

                His eyes find mine, and he gives a soft nod.  “We’re permanent,”

                I smile, “Yeah, yes we are.”

                He smiles back.  His hands guide me back, and he kisses me.  His tongue swipes against my bottom lip, and I open my mouth, allowing his tongue to sweep across my mouth.  Even though I’m in control, he needs this.  He needs me, and I can give him myself.  He needs the one thing I can give him.

                “Ianto, I want you,” his words more moan than phrase.

                I nod, because I understand.  I need him.  My body sings for his.

                I gasp softly as he flips us over, spreading his body out over mine, truly taking control.  His hands run up and down my body, and I arch into his touch.  I moan and whimper and arch into him as his mouth finds my nipple.  Only he can do this to me.

                “I love you, so much, Ianto.”

                I groan at his words.  He’s coming back to me, his dream becoming a dream with each sweep of his tongue against my chest.

                His tongue abandons my body, and I moan and arch, trying to follow him.  His hands take the place, leaving trails of fire in their wake.  They roam everywhere, my chest, my arms, my legs, everywhere.  He leans down, a swift brush of lips before he sits back up.  “Please,”

                But he shakes his head, “Not yet….not yet, love.”           

                I moan at that.  His words, just a slip, just a pet name, just something, but he called me love.  And that’s all I need right now. 

                He stares down at me; his now clear blue eyes are filled with love.  There’s lust, but I see the love.  The love and adoration in his eyes.  I reach up, running my hand through his hair, just like I did when he was sleeping.

                His eyes lighten, with what I don’t know, but I want to see it there more often.  I want Jack to love me like this, forever. 

                His hand grabs onto my arm, and we just stay like that.  Jack kneeling between my legs; my hand in his hair as he clings to my arm.  Our eyes connect, sharing the love we feel.  My left hand brushes against Jack’s right, and I reach my fingers out, brushing the tips against each other softly.

                I love this man.

                And he loves me.

                Our stance is broken as Jack leans down, letting go of my hand.  His lips brush against my softly at first, but then harder.  “Are you ready?”  He whispers against my ear.

                I nod my head; he reaches down, but I stop him, grabbing his hand.  “I’m ready, please,”

                He nods his head, and I can tell he wants this just as bad as I do.

                He sets his body down gently on top of me, carefully not to hurt me in anyway.  I wrap my legs back around his waist, hanging a hand loosely around his neck. Our eyes connect again, and he thrusts slowly.

                I arch my head back at the sensation.  He’s going so slow, so slow, and I can feel everything.  His tongue finds my neck, nipping and sucking as he thrusts ever so slowly into me.  “Jack, please, faster.”

                His head shakes, “No, don’t want to hurt you,” but he doesn’t have to worry.  He’s not hurting me.  My body is so relaxed underneath him, so open and ready for whatever he wants to give me.

                I groan as he stops for a second, giving me time to adjust to his length. I smile up at him, kissing him.

                He smiles, and then he gives a small thrust in and out. I arch.  I feel.  I moan and groan.  He thrusts.  He kisses.  He nips and licks.  We both give and take.

                He drives us both to the edge and back, slowly taking us away from the danger that is the edge.

                Our bodies are slick with sweat, and I run my tongue across his collar bone, tasting him.  The candy but salty taste that only he can have.  “Jack,” I pant, “Please.”

                His hand brushes away my hair from my face, my sweat making it stick.  “Don’t leave me,”

                I nod my head, “Never, I won’t ever leave,”

                He smiles, his thrusts increasing speed with each one.  I groan, because I can tell, this time he’s going to bring us over the edge.  Push us over the cliff, and let us soar.

                “Jack,” He cuts me off by kissing me, rubbing his tongue against my lip, and I can’t help but to open up for him.

                He thrusts, hitting my prostate with each thrust, and I pant, kissing Jack.  I’m so close.  So close.

                I rip my mouth away from Jack’s as I arch up into him, my orgasm rushing through my body in a spell of white hot fire.  I moan, louder than I have all night as the fire runs through my body, brought my Jack’s touch.

                Jack cries out on top of me, his own orgasm rushing through his body.  He collapses on top of me, but I don’t care.  He moves off to my side, pulling out of me slowly; I moan at the emptiness I feel without him.  My arms wrap around him of their own accord, but he disappears for a second, turning over to grab a towel.  He wipes me off, cleaning up the mess we made together before he throws the towel over his shoulder.  His arms wrap around me, and I kiss his sweaty chest.  “I love you, Jack.”

                I can’t see him, but I know he smiles, his arms tightening around me.  “I love you too, Ianto.”

                I know I smile as I kiss his collar bone.  We lay there in silence, our breathing evening out, and just before I drift into sleep, I hear him whisper, “We’re permanent.”

 

 

This was written for Rounds_Of_Kink over on lj, and is my first Torchwood fic.  If you feel that I messed up the characters or something, please let me know.