Bella and The New Kids: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. I didn't write the books or the movies. I just write things like this to poke fun at it.

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Edward took Bella in his arms for a tender embrace. “I'm so glad we're together now, my darling.”

Bella gazed into his beautiful eyes, replying, “So am I, my love.”

He released her and took her hands in his, his perfect face suddenly serious. “Bella, I vow to you that I will never let my hunger for your blood put you in danger.”

“I know you won't, Edward. I trust you.”

“Not even when I watch you sleep at night.”

Bella dropped his hands. “When you what?”

“I am so captivated by you that I sometimes climb in through your bedroom window just to gaze upon your beautiful face as you sleep.” He sighed rapturously.

“Oh, Edward. That's so roman-“

“Did you know that you snore?”

“I do what?”

“You snore, Bella. Quite loudly. And you drool. And talk in your sleep.”

“Ed- that- what-“Bella stuttered incoherently, waving her hands in the air.

“By the way, who is Jonathon?”

“Jonathon? What the-“

“You talk to him. Along with Joey. And Donnie. And Jordan.”

“All right, Edward. That is enough.” Bella's hands were on her hips now as she glared at her boyfriend. “I do not dream about the New Kids On The Block.”

“Oh yes you do.” Edward raised his beautiful voice to a falsetto. “Oh Jonathon, you have the greatest voice. Joey, I just love your hair. Donnie, you're so cool. Jordan, can I have your baby?”

“I. Did. Not.” Bella spoke through clenched teeth.

“Well, maybe that last one was `can I have your autograph', but the rest were true.”

“Well-, well-, well-“Bella's hands were flailing as she tried to make her point. “Even if I did - which I didn't - that was-, was- personal. You shouldn't have been watching me sleep in the first place! That's just creepy, Edward!”

“But, Bella, you just said it was roman-“

“No! What are you, some kind of stalker? I can't believe you would just invade my privacy like that! I thought you respected me! I thought you loved me!”

“I do, Bella-“Edward reached for his now hysterical girlfriend.

“No! Don't touch me! Don't talk to me! I don't ever want to see you again!”

With this, Bella ran off towards her home, leaving Edward standing alone, baffled.

“What did I say?”

End