After the Fall: Reunited

            Head tilted downwards and hands in the pockets of his ragged black jeans, the young man made his way down the street on a cold, dark December evening. He had closed up the pet shop early after tucking a small package of dog biscuits into the pocket of his winter parka to appease the hellhound. As he walked towards Azriel’s house, Caine was surprised to find that he was no longer terrified of the mere thought of her beloved puppy Pepper. It seemed that his phobia had diminished after surviving the demi-cerberus attack at the hospital. With a wry grin, he thought to himself, ‘with all the shit we’ve just been through, I could stare one in the face and scare him away’. He shook his head violently to keep his dark thoughts of September and October from settling, but he couldn’t stop the memories from flooding back.

            It was hard enough for Caine himself to have been captured and tortured by Vincent and the newly vampiric Sloane, then later attacked by demi-cerberus at the wounded Azriel’s bedside. But what Holden had been through, and all that he had done, was far worse than Caine could bear. How did Azriel feel about it? She was the first one that Holden turned against; he stabbed her when trying to kill her sister. Even though Caine knew that Holden himself hadn’t been responsible for his actions didn’t make it any easier for Caine to deal with. As far as he could tell, after transforming into Yoshiki, even after returning to his human form, Holden was more like the cold, distant harpy prince than the brother Caine knew and loved.

            ‘I just can’t stand to be around him anymore,’ Caine thought as he shuffled down the street. He had distanced himself from everyone in the months following Holden’s return. Since he was taken a break from school, Caine worked full time in the pet shop, using it as an excuse to avoid his friends. He did practice with the band a few nights a week at first, but his heart wasn’t in the music. He wasn’t inspired to write new songs; the only things he could think about when trying to write were vampires and harpies, destruction and hatred. And Vincent making Sloane a vampire, Holden becoming Yoshiki, and his cruel attack on Az and Coral… Caine couldn’t bear to think about it so he didn’t write songs and stopped playing with the band, stopped seeing those friends. He didn’t talk to Holden unless absolutely necessary, and didn’t visit or talk to Azriel. His friends noticed the change, but thought it best to let him heal in his own way. Azriel was the only one who still called him and came to see him. Caine never returned her calls and always made excuses not to see her. He could tell it pained her, that she needed to talk to him, but he needed to be alone. And he had been alone, for two months, and was used to it. Yet somehow, Caine was finally compelled to see Azriel again, and found himself ringing her doorbell.

            Shifting anxiously from foot to foot, longing for a cigarette, Caine waited on the doorstep. The lights were ion inside, but he couldn’t see past the entryway. The car wasn’t in the driveway either. He was contemplating turning around and going home, but then footsteps sounded in the hallway, approaching the door. Caine took a deep breath and tried to smile as the door was unlocked from the inside. It swung open, revealing Azriel, beautiful as always, but now with a profound sadness behind her usually cheerful eyes.

            “Caine… my god, I haven’t seen you in ages.” She stepped forward, about to embrace him, but changed her mind when she saw him flinch slightly. “Um… do you want to come in?” she asked, hoping to break through his pained silence.

            “Yeah, please,” Caine said hoarsely, and entered the house, waiting as Azriel bolted the door behind them. Confidentially, in almost a whisper, he added, “Az, I’ve missed you so much.” His single eye glistened with tears, which he brushed away quickly. ‘Why do I feel this way?’ he wondered. ‘Why does it hurt so much to talk to her?’

            As Caine stood awkwardly, Azriel reached out and grasped his hand. “I’ve missed you too,” she said, meaning it more strongly than he could imagine. They were silent for a few moments, then she laughed nervously. “Sorry, I guess you want to take off her coat and shoes…” The house was very warm, just as Az liked it. Caine nodded, kicked off his shoes and socks, then gave his coat to Azriel, who hung it up in the closet. “Come on and sit down.” She led him to the living room, where he sank gratefully into the couch. “Do you want something to eat? Or a drink? No one else is home tonight, but I could make something…” Caine smiled weakly. “No thanks, I’m not hungry.” He neglected to mention that he hadn’t had much of an appetite in the months since Holden’s return. It was all he could do to force food down his throat from day to day.

            Suddenly, Caine remembered the dog biscuits. “Az, I have something for you in my coat pocket. Want me to get it?” In response, she bounded to the closet herself, her floral peasant top swishing as she moved. ‘How does she manage to be so cute, yet so sexy?’ Caine mused.

            “Oh, thanks Caine!” Az exclaimed, running back with the package. “That’s so sweet of you! I’ll tell Pepper you brought them for him. He’s with Mom and Coral.” It made Caine happy to see Azriel regain her spunk for a moment. But he knew they were going to have a hard time talking. “I hope he likes them.” He paused. “About that drink, do you have any beer?” Maybe the alcohol would make things go a little easier. Both of them felt the awkwardness underlying the too-polite dialogue. “Sure, just a sec.” Az put the dog biscuits away in the kitchen then got two beers out of the fridge. She returned to Caine, who gratefully accepted one of the cans. He opened it immediately and took a big gulp, afterwards putting it down on the table in front of him. Sitting to his right, keeping her distance, Azriel popped open her can, appreciating its frosty touch on her fingers. She took a small sip of the cold brewed liquid, then held it carefully on her leg. As the cold spread from the can, through her jeans, to her thigh, she looked over at Caine who was staring down at the table.

            “Hey. Caine. How have you been?” she asked tentatively. His bangs swung aside when he turned to face her, revealing the scars over where his left eye used to be. Self-consciously, he shook his head and the stray hair fell back into place, covering his deformity.

            “Okay, I guess.” The worried look of disbelief on Azriel’s face made Caine backtrack. “Shit… that’s a lie. I’ve been awful, Az. Nothing’s been the same since…” He hung his head and pressed a fist to the bridge of his nose, clenching his eye tight to avoid bursting into tears. He hadn’t cried this whole time, and he wasn’t about to now. To distract himself from where these thoughts were heading, Caine took another swig of his beer and slammed the half-empty can back onto the table. Az merely looked at him compassionately, knowing what he was feeling. After all, she was suffering too.

            “...since Vincent came back,” she completed Caine’s sentence. That was when this whole mess had started… Everything was fine until the vampire returned to Holden’s life.

            Caine nodded mutely, listening as Azriel continued her eyes cast downward. “First, Dominick, Kisoka, and Vincent all appear. Vincent stalks Holden, makes Sloane a vampire… He… he kidnaps and tortures you…” Her hands were trembling, and she had to put her beer on the table to avoid spilling it. “Vincent uses you as bait, gets Holden to stay the night and talk with him. Then Holden comes back, alive, thank god, but disappears to stay cooped up at the library with Kisoka, while you and I have no idea what’s going on. Finally, we learn Holden wants to save Vincent, so he won’t turn Holden into a vampire, while Kisoka is trying to find Arcana and Yoshiki. I try to help everyone relax, have fun for a change, then Holden… isn’t himself, goes berserk, chases after Coral and tries to kill her, stabbing me when I get in the way…” She rested her hand lightly on her scarred abdomen. “I’m in the hospital when Vincent comes to turn Holden, but Holden’s blood kills him instead… Yoshiki’s blood. And then he’s just gone, with Dom and Kisoka, leaving us scared and confused, only to be attacked by demi-cerberus. We live, but don’t learn the whole story until later, when Holden comes back. And then he isn’t Holden anymore… not Yoshiki either, but a whole new person who we can’t relate to.” Pausing for a moment, she shook her head. It was so difficult to talk about this, and here she was, just ranting. “We’re afraid of him. And then there’s Dom, who’s supposedly his mate, but was originally out to kill him. Coral is still healing emotionally. Sloane is still a vampire, you and me still have scars from what’s been done to us, and Vincent is dead. And you and me haven’t talked since October, when it was all over.” After drinking more of her beer, draining the can, Azriel turned towards Caine. She raked her hair back with her fingers, sighing. “You’re right, nothing’s been the same.”

            Caine, who had been silent all this time, laughed dryly and faced Azriel. “But what can we do about it? It’s not like we can just go back to the way things were before.”

            “I know we can’t,” Az said, reaching over and touching Caine’s hand. “But for starters, we can talk about it.” She gave him her first genuine smile in months.

            The thought of opening up their wounds anew made Caine Grimace, but Azriel’s touch was surprisingly comforting. He couldn’t help but feel affection towards her, and smiled back. Squeezing her hand, he finished his beer.

            “Okay. But let’s get some more beer first.”

            Still smiling, Az took their cans into the kitchen and brought two more back to the couch. She was hopeful that Caine would open up to her. They needed to talk, and she was ready. She had just been waiting for him.