Death and Desire: Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing…if I did, it would be insane and resemble something along the lines of a two year old that can’t make up their mind lmao

Warnings: Death fic…kinda…um…Yaoi, angst, anal (kinda goes with the Yaoi thing), pushy uke…Can’t think of anything else at the moment.



Cobalt eyes were wide as he stared in horror at the scene before him. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing, his brain just couldn’t seem to grasp it. Couldn’t wrap around it. He knew he was in shock, but he was unable to care about that. He would get over the shock, the disaster before him on the other hand…he doubted that he could recover.

They had been in a battle, all five pilots taking on OZ. Things had been going great and the odds were really in their favor, until IT showed up.

Intelligent Tallgeese, or IT for short. Stupid name? Yes, but it packed one hell of a punch! IT was OZ’s version of Wing Zero, or so it seemed, but the mech was much more powerful than they had predicted. IT was OZ’s new weapon, and a monster.

IT attacked with blinding force and deadly accuracy. They couldn’t tell whether IT was a doll or piloted, though either way it was clear the thing was a problem. It was quite obvious to everyone that there was nothing they could think of to help. They needed to do something to destroy the monstrosity, but they didn't know what.

That’s when the pilots heard it. Duo’s voice. The violet eyed pilot was coming over their shared channel, his voice grim as he informed the others that he had figured out a way to beat IT. The certainty in his voice left no room for doubt, or question, and they were ready to follow his lead.

Their instructions?

The long haired pilot had told them to move away from the mech. To go off in opposite directions and move as far away as possible, surrounding it, though at quite a distance, from four angles. Though it was a rather strange plan, especially since he told them that they would have to do that before he would tell them the rest, it sounded rather logical at the time.

What they didn’t realize?

The plan was a farce. It was nothing more than a diversion. This plan was nothing more than a clever way to get them the hell out of dodge.

Why?

Oh, Duo had a real plan alright. He had a fool proof plan and one he had every intention of carrying out. He just needed to get the others out of the way, and for good reason too. Because the plan that he had didn’t involve them. It was something he would have to do alone.

With the other four gundam pilots out of harms way, the fifth could carry out his course of action, and the others could only watch. The four looked on as their fifth member fell.

True, he had taken out the weapon, the damage to it was too great and it could no longer function. Hell, it would probably never work again, but the self-destructs’ explosion had sent the brunette’s body flying through the air. His chestnut locks, which had freed themselves for his braid, flowed around him as he descended to Earth like a fallen angel.

That is an image that would haunt them.

Quatre’s cries could be heard over the channel, they all knew that the empath’s heart was breaking. But all the others could do was just stare. They couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be happening, not to their Shinigami. It had to be a bad dream, the energetic brunette would never self-destruct so easily. He would fight until he could fight no longer and use it as a last resort!

But as the OZ dolls, or what was left of them, retreated and the Deathscythe pilot finally connected with the welcoming earth, the gundam boys realized just how real it was. That it was not a dream, there was no illusion or trick being played upon their minds. Their comrade had fallen trying to protect them.

And Heero took action.

He had quickly flown over to where the violet eyed boy had fallen and jumped out of his gundam. He didn’t waste anytime and ran to the long haired brunette’s side. Kneeling next to the other male, Heero gathered the seemingly lifeless body into his arms and checked for any signs of life. The dull violet eyes that stared at nothing giving away a truth he refused to believe.

“Duo.” He said pleadingly, nearly choking on the emotions he was trying to suppress.

He was the perfect soldier, he couldn’t cry. He couldn’t show that kind of weakness. Yet even as he tried to remind himself of that fact a tear came unbidden. It flowed down his cheek and fell, landing next to the other’s eye. The tear continued its path, drawn by gravity, and ran down the violet-eyed boy’s face. It made it look as if he, too, were weeping alongside his companion and in that moment Heero really didn’t care that he was showing weakness. He could be the perfect soldier another day, but not now.

Because he knew the other pilot couldn’t be crying. His once energetic and happy ally would never show emotion again. The heat that radiated from the expressive male, even as Heero loathed to admit, was fleeing the body in his arms. Leaving it ominously cold.

“No…” Heero gasped and held the other closer. “Duo, you can’t leave! You’re Shinigami, remember?” He asked as he cried into the man’s chest. “The God of Death can’t…” He trailed off, finding it difficult to say that word.

That one little word that meant so much. One little word that held a world of meaning. One word that meant: The End.

“You…YOU can’t…” He said firmly, “…die…” He added meekly, nothing more than a whisper as he held the fallen pilot even closer to him.

Trowa was the first to approach. Calmly he knelt down and reached up to grab Duo’s wrist, obviously checking his friend’s pulse. His face was grim as the other two approached and before the blond could ask he shook his head. Tears welled up in the blond's eyes and Trowa went over and held him close as the dam broke. A tear soaked shirt would be worth it. They both needed the comfort.

They had just lost one of their own.

“We have to get out of here. Yuy, pull yourself together! We have to leave before they regroup.” Wufei said sternly, even though he, too, was affected by the situation.

“But we can’t leave hi…”

“He is dead Heero! There is nothing we can do except honor his sacrifice and live!” Wufei cried, forcing Heero to move by literally dragging the Wing pilot away.

“No!” Heero exclaimed and tried to resist, which was futile seeing as he was in shock. “We can’t leave Duo behind!”

“We wont…” Trowa began but was quickly cut off by the sound of mecha approaching in the distance.

Their options were limited now.

“We have no choice, Yuy, we have to leave. NOW!” Wufei commanded, his tone leaving no room for argument.

They were in front of the gundam and the Chinese man practically threw the Wing pilot inside his cockpit. He closed it up after making sure Heero was set, then he and the other two pilots quickly got into their gundams. They were prepared to escape the battlefield before the next wave hit.

Only one problem…

“Don’t make me drag you back, Yuy!” Wufei threatened over the radio when Heero failed to budge.

It all seemed so surreal to Heero. As he pulled away from the battle zone, he felt as if he wasn’t himself. He felt like he was merely a spectator watching as cobalt eyes took one last look at the lifeless form that lay in the middle of the decimated landscape.

The four remaining pilots flew away, all with heavy hearts, though they knew who suffered the most. As they made their was back to their safe house, knowing the place would never be the same again without their cheerful comrade, they all had to fight back the pain. Heero was a wreak and they needed to be strong, for him if nothing else.

When they finally made it back, Heero set his gundam down in its designated spot where he quickly, and efficiently, concealed it. He was on auto-pilot. His body keeping with the routine, doing what needed to be done, while his mind was in a state of chaos. Thoughts of the beautiful violet eyed pilot flashed through his mind. Everything about the pilot he had come to call “friend”.

Their first meeting. Their first fight. Their first mission together. The first time he wanted to shut him up. The first time he wanted to run his hands through those chestnut locks…The first time he realized that he had fallen in love with the talkative American…

Yes, he had fallen for the Deathscythe pilot. For all the indifference he had shown toward the man, he knew he had fallen head over heels for him. The violet eyed male had been everything he was not. Cheerful, energetic, friendly, warm, talkative, loving, and now…dead…

Heero collapsed onto the floor of his room. He laid on this side and curled up into the fetal position as violent sobs wracked his body. He couldn’t get a hold of himself. He couldn’t stop the tears that ran down his face like tiny waterfalls. The reality of the days events had come crashing in on him and, for all his self control, he couldn’t stop the waves of emotion that flowed through him.

Pain. Sorrow. Guilt.

Pain he felt in his heart at losing his precious one. Sorrow that he would never see Duo again. And guilt, because could not protect the one thing that meant the world to him. He should have known!

Should have known what Duo was thinking. Should have realized what the boy’s “plan” was. Should have stopped him. Should have done something.

Something, ANYTHING, besides stand there and watch.

The least he could have done was to tell the other the truth. He could have admitted what he felt. He should have confessed that he loved the violet eyed man before they even left for battle. He should have told him months ago. Maybe then Duo wouldn’t have made such a rash decision. Maybe if he had told Duo that he loved him, he wouldn’t have given himself to Death’s open arms.

Death…Heaven…That was the one place that the blue eyed pilot could not follow. Heaven was a place for the pure, the kind hearted. For people like Duo. Not him, not Heero. He had too much blood, innocent blood, on his hands.

Was this his punishment? Was this part of the torment he was to endure for his crimes? For his sins? For all the lives he had taken? Was this his punishment, for the life most precious to him to be stolen away?

He could believe it, but it wasn’t fair. Duo shouldn’t have had to suffer because of Heero’s wrongs. It just wasn’t…

…

Night had fallen by the time Heero awoke. He couldn’t remember a time when he had cried himself to sleep, but it appeared that he had done just that. Between all the crying and the stress his thoughts had placed upon his body he had simply passed out. He knew his face was probably stained with tears, but he really didn’t care.

When he went to get up so he could prepare for bed, and the nightmares that were sure to plague him, he saw a shadow move out of the corner of his eye. He quickly turned around only to gasp at what he saw before him.

There, standing as if nothing at all was wrong in the world, wearing a long black cloak was the man of his dreams. Long chestnut hair hanging loose, just like it was on the battlefield, flowed elegantly around the figure. Violet eyes stared back at him, the expression a little dull compared to what he was used to, but not the lifeless dull they were last he saw the male.

But there was no mistaking it, this was the man he loved with a passion more intense than anyone could imagine him capable of.

“D…Duo.” Heero gasped, his mouth hanging open slightly in shock as the violet eyed teen approached him. “How?” He inquired, but Duo didn’t reply.

Heero gave up on receiving an answer and honestly didn’t care if he ever got one. Duo was with him and that was all that mattered as he grabbed the smaller brunette in a fiercely tight hug.

“I don’t care if this is a dream. If it is, then I pray I never wake up.” Heero stated, letting his walls crumble before the long haired male.

He wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. He would show Duo his emotions. He would tell him the truth of how he feels. He knew that he was acting out of character, but he didn’t give a damn. Dream or not, he had his Duo in his arms.

“Heero.” Duo purred after getting over the initial shock of Heero showing emotions. Sure, it had snapped him out of the trance like state he had been in, but what good was that when the show of emotion from the perfect soldier sent him into shock? It was laughable really, but Duo knew that Heero meant well.

“Duo, I’m sorry.” Heero whispered into chestnut locks as he buried his face into the silky strands.

“For what Hee-chan?” Duo asked in confusion as he returned the Wing pilot’s embrace. The perfect soldier showing emotions was confusing enough, but the man apologizing on top of it really sent him for a loop.

“For never telling you…For never having the courage to tell you how much I love you.” Heero answered, this dream giving him the courage he needed to tell the smaller male.

“Heero.” Duo gasped, looking at the brunette with wide eyes as pink tinted his cheeks.

Then he smiled. It wasn’t one of the smiles he put on for show. No, this was the real deal. And it was causing what was left of Heero’s walls to fall. All Heero could seem to do was stare at the dazzling beauty in front of him.

Said beauty had already wrapped his arms around Heero’s neck. Violet met blue as Duo pulled the other down so their lips could meet. A chaste kiss, just a brush of lips, but it was clear that Duo wanted more. He wanted to taste, and Heero could never deny him. Especially when the long haired male pressed their bodies close, putting pressure on Heero’s erection.

Heero gasped at the contact. He hadn’t expected Duo to be so…pushy. Not in all his fantasies, Duo hadn’t been aggressive. Did that mean that this was real, or the shock of the days events was causing his dreams to fluctuate and take a different turn?

While Heero thought about the situation, Duo took advantage of it. The long haired pilot licked Heero’s lips, a teasing taste, then pushed his tongue into the blue eyed male’s mouth. He met no resistance and smiled inwardly as he began to thoroughly explore the cavern. And when the taller brunette groaned in pleasure, Duo was more than happy to respond with a moan.

Heero pulled Duo closer and buried one hand in the long locks. He wanted more and began to coax Duo’s tongue into a battle. Duo was greatly pleased by this reaction as their tongues fought for dominance. Duo decided to step it up a level and reached his hand in between their bodies, cupping Heero’s manhood through the clothing covering it.

“Oh gods, Duo.” Heero moaned and slowly, as not to scare the angel he held in his grasp, started urging the violet eyed male back.

Heero’s urging, or rather urgency, caused Duo to smirk even as the kiss continued. The boy did as the perfect soldier desired and walked backwards toward the bed. The only thing was he had miscalculated and didn’t realize how close it was. Duo gasped when the back of his knees hit the bed and they both tumbled onto the soft surface.

A little embarrassing, yes, but they had each other right where they wanted them…kinda…

Before Duo could so much as blink, Heero was hovering over him, ravishing him. Duo whimpered with need and thrust his hips up to meet Heero’s, giving their hard members some much needed friction. Both gasped at the thrill of sensations that ran through them as their erections touched, sending them into a near frenzy.

They wanted more. More sensation, more skin, more of each other. It was maddening, the intense need they felt.

Heero had always fantasized about slowly undressing Duo. Baring the soft skin that covered hard, lean muscle inch by tantalizing inch while he ravished every bit bared to him. When he fantasized, it was always about making Duo come over and over before he begged Heero to take him. Begged Heero to claim him for all eternity.

But as clothes began flying carelessly around, in all directions, it was obvious that some steps would have to be skipped. They were just so damn desperate to feel skin against skin and Duo even gave a cry of triumph when he freed Heero’s impressive erection.

Before the Wing pilot could get into his soon-to-be-lover’s pants, quite literally, the long haired boy engulfed his manhood, causing him to cry out and nearly collapse on the bed. He had never experienced such wonderful sensations, and the warm wet cavern of Duo’s mouth was milking him for all it was worth. For heaven’s sake, the man was deep-throating him! It was as if the other pilot was desperate to taste his essence.

“D…Duo…” Heero gasped out as he threaded his fingers through chestnut locks. “So…um…good…Ah!” He cried out in the end when Duo started to suck, hard, and move up and down his length.

Duo smiled around his mouthful, proud of the sounds he coaxed from Heero’s throat. He began to caress the head with his tongue, following the ridge, then coming up to jab at the slit from time to time to coax more of the salty liquid from it.

The violet eyed man loved the taste of his partner. It was salty tasting, yes, but sweet at the same time with a hint of something completely Heero. A perfect combo in his mind, he just couldn’t get enough of it, and he was doing every trick in the book to get more.

Heero started to moan and pant uncontrollably, causing Duo to groan at the erotic sight of Heero losing all control. The Wing pilot cried out when he felt the vibrations along his manhood, eyes rolling back in his head. He collapsed onto the bed, his arms and legs no longer able to support his weight.

Duo gave another sound of triumph as he positioned Heero to lay on his back. He gave a roguish grin as he straddled Heero’s legs and held his hips down while renewing his assault on Heero’s cock with vigor. The blue eyed male hadn’t cum yet and Duo was determined to taste him fully.

“Oh…Oh gods…Duo…” Heero moaned when Duo took one hand and began playing with Heero’s sack. “Please… Duo… Stop! I… gonna… cum…” He tried to make a coherent sentence, tried to warn Duo, but he failed.

The sentence wasn’t as coherent as he thought and Duo just didn’t want to listen to his warning. Duo almost had what he wanted and instead of stopping, he stepped the torture up a notch. Heero had to bite his hand to keep from coming into the moist heat that surrounded him.

Duo was so close and the fact that Heero was purposely keeping his prize from him grated on his nerves. He pulled away slightly and smiled when Heero whimpered at the loss. Duo let his lips rest lightly on the head of Heero’s shaft so when he spoke the perfect soldier felt the movement as a soft caress across the over-sensitive flesh.

“Don’t worry Hee-chan.” Duo chuckled, quickly jabbing the slit with his tongue before continuing. “Cum for me.” He commanded in a voice that can only be described as pure lust.

“Duo!” Heero moaned as he came, the sexy command was just too hot to resist, and Duo groaned at the sight.

Heero had his head thrown back as his eyes widened in pure wonder, his mouth open in a silent scream. Liquid warmth splashed on the left side of Duo’s face, while the majority coated Heero’s stomach. The long haired pilot just watched his partner until the blue eyed male laid panting, body still riding his orgasmic high.

“Yum.” Duo purred as his tongue shot out to lick some of the cum off his face.

Sure, he had wanted it to coat his throat rather than Heero’s stomach, but that could wait. He had a perfect male spread out in front of him, covered in sweat and cum, and he wasn’t going to let the opportunity pass him by.

Duo lapped some of the liquid off of Heero. The panting male groaned as Duo moved over him. “We can’t let all this go to waste.” Duo stated as he scooped the white substance up and lifted onto his knees.

Heero watched the man above him, blue eyes still clouded with lust. He knew that being on the bottom was not a position he would like to be in, but his body would not respond. That, and the sight of the violet eyed male straddling him while on his knees, showing Heero everything he had to offer, was hard to pass up. Just the sight of Duo’s body, flushed and needy, made Heero hard again.

“Watch me, Hee-chan. Don’t look away.” Duo commanded and Heero blushed, looking at the man above him.

Heero hadn’t even noticed he had looked away, probably due to the embarrassment of what he knew was about to happen. He was going to be fingered, and stretched, just like a good uke and he didn’t have the strength to stop it. And he was more embarrassed than ever because of it.

 

But Duo just smiled at him as he took his cum slicked fingers to his own entrance and slipped one inside.

Both pilots moaned. Heero couldn’t believe the treat he was being given. Not only was he not going to be the uke, but he had a perfect view of that taunt little ass and the finger making love to it. Making love to it in the same way his swollen member soon would.

“Oh gods…” Heero moaned, a combination of his thoughts and the look of pure ecstasy on Duo’s face when the violet eyed pilot added a second finger and began scissoring them. “Duo…I…”

“Oh Heero!” Duo cried as his fingers brushed over his sweet spot. “I can’t take this anymore.” He growled and removed his fingers.

Before Heero could say anything the long haired pilot had impaled himself on the Wing pilot’s cock. Duo groaned at the feeling of being stretched even further, and filled completely, but cursed himself for being so impatient. He really should have added a third before taking Heero inside. Oh well, a little late for that. Besides, the pain was already being rapidly replaced by pleasure.

“Duo!” Heero moaned, overwhelmed by the feeling of the tight passage surrounding him.

When Duo slowly began riding him, a wanton look upon his beautiful face, Heero grabbed the smaller male’s hips. He was afraid he’d cum if he didn’t grab onto something, anything, to keep him grounded.

“Gods Duo…you look like…a wanton little slut…” Heero ground out, thrusting up into the willing body above him. “MY wanton little slut.” He moaned as Duo rode him harder and faster, seeming to respond to the dirty talk.

“Oh Heero…” Duo gasped. “This…this is better than…I imagined…” He moaned, his movements increasing, thrusting his hips almost violently.

“Duo…” Heero groaned in appreciation, yet tried to wrap his arms around the angel in his arms.

He loved what the other was doing, but he wanted to take things slower. He wanted to savor the moment, but Duo would have none of it. He trapped Heero’s hands above his head, smirking triumphantly. Duo then bent his head down next to Heero’s, his hips never missing a beat, and took his earlobe into his mouth.

Heero cried out when Duo bit the piece of flesh, then soothed it with his tongue. “Pain and pleasure…sometime go hand in hand…Hee-chan.” He commented, trying to get out what he wanted…what he needed to say…but he was so close to the edge.

Talk about a REAL mission impossible.

“Just like life and death…” Duo began again, moaning and gasping. He was about to come, and from the pulses he felt from Heero, the blue eyed male wasn’t far behind. “Some people…live for little…deaths…like these…Oh gods, Heero!” He cried as he threw his head back, his long locks flying around him.

He looked like a painting. An erotic painting of pure ecstasy as he came and it pushed Heero over the edge.

“Duo!” Heero moaned and without warning he felt Duo sink his teeth into him, right where his neck and shoulder met, drawing blood.

Heero screamed in a combination of pain and pleasure, his world turning black…

~*~*~*~

The world slowly came into focus, though he had to blink several times before the blurry haze faded away. It was difficult, like his senses didn’t want to come back to reality, and he couldn’t seem to understand why.

That’s when it hit him. Heero grasped his head in both hands as images flooded his mind. The battle. IT. Duo’s gundam self destructing, Deathscythe’s pilot falling, the beautiful brunette’s lifeless body in his arms. Wufei forcing him to leave. Collapsing when he returned home and…Duo.

Duo was there with him last night! He confessed his love to the violet eyed angel, finally, and they made love. He had finally gathered enough courage to tell…

But as Heero looked around, Duo was nowhere to be found. He was alone in his bed, covered by a sheet. When he looked under said sheet, Heero realized that he was dressed in his favorite silk boxers, the ones that he usually always wore to bed.

Sure, the comforter was on the floor, but that was normal. He has a tendency to move around a lot in his sleep, at least when he truly sleeps. When he has been knocked out or something along those lines, his body doesn’t budge. He wouldn’t be surprised if someone thought him dead. But when he sleeps…yea, that comforter never stayed where it was supposed to.

Heero sighed and brought his knees up to his chest, then buried his face in them. It had all been a dream, an illusion. His mind had given him one last chance with the love of his life, and though he didn’t blow it, he still wasn’t granted his wish. His wish to never wake up.

But he could fix that, it wouldn’t take much. He could take a few dozen pills and dream again, he would never have to wake up again and leave Duo’s embrace…

…Briefly Duo’s words raced through his mind, but he brushed them off. They were words created in a dream after all, they had no standing in reality. He was ready to get out of bed and find every medicine they had in the safe house. He wanted to do this before everyone woke up and tried to stop him…or save him. The only way they would “save” him would be to put him out of his misery…

That’s when he noticed it. The water was running. Someone was already up and about at this ungodly hour and they were using his shower. Talk about adding insult to injury. One of the others had waltzed into his room, had more than likely seen his tear streaked face, and had proceeded to use his damn bathroom anyway.

That bathroom was for him and Duo only, and he’d be damned if…

Heero was about to get up and knock some sense into the one who dared enter their sanctuary. Just because he didn’t have Duo anymore didn’t mean the others could disrespect Duo’s favorite place! If they wanted to do that, they could wait until he was dead. They only had to wait a few hours, at most.

When Heero moved to get out of bed the “Intruder,” as Heero had deemed it, walked out of the bathroom. Heero froze, standing beside the bed.

Standing there in the bathroom doorway, toweling off long, wet, chestnut locks... was Duo. Alive and well, and wearing only a black pair of pants. The violet eyed man hadn’t even bothered to button them and Heero licked his lips.

Seemed his angel liked going commando.

“Duo…” Heero sighed, as if speaking his name might cause him to vanish.

“Right here, Hee-chan, what’s up?” Duo asked with a bright smile.

“How?” Heero asked when it was obvious that the energetic pilot was going to stick around for a while.

“That’s easy.” Duo chuckled, “You said it yourself, Hee-chan.” He added, sauntering over to Heero and giving him a deep, passionate kiss.

“Um…Duo…” Heero moaned, grabbing the other up into his arms and carrying him over to the bed.

Heero gently laid Duo down, hovering over him. He was going to make sure his little lover stayed on the bottom this time.

“You aren’t getting rid of me, got that Heero? You’re stuck with me…” Duo smiled as he trailed off, fingers gently caressing the wound he had left on Heero’s neck.

Funny, Heero hadn’t even noticed it.

“You are stuck with me for eternity Heero.” Duo said calmly. “After all…”

Heero had claimed Duo’s lips before he could finish, ravishing the smaller male. Eternity with Duo? Now that would be a dream come true and just hearing the words come from Duo’s mouth sent his emotions in motion. He was happy, truly happy.

“Mine…” Heero stated, taking advantage of Duo’s exposed neck.

“Yes Heero. You are mine, and I am yours…” Duo moaned when Heero started sucking on his collar bone.

Good lord, he never knew he was so sensitive there.

Heero stopped for a moment and looked Duo in the eyes. There was no question about it in the look that Duo was getting from the blue eyes in front of him. He was going to be walking funny later, but there was also something else. He could tell Heero was fighting his lust, trying to ask him something.

That’s right! Heero had been so caught up in his emotions, damnable things that they were, he hadn’t received his answer yet and seemed dead set on getting it. Well, Duo didn’t know what to think of that one. He wasn’t sure how his lover would react to the answer he sought, but the optimist was sure that it would work out in the end.

After all, their lives wouldn’t be ending for a long time…

“Still…How?” Heero asked again.

“Simple.” Duo shrugged and with a roguish smile leaned up, next to Heero’s ear, and whispered…

“I. Am. Shinigami.”



~*~*~*~

A/N: And that be the end of my one-shot! Hope you liked it It’s my first real, full, yaoi lemon scene ~ I’d love to hear some feedback *^.^* I love hearing what people think, it helps me with ideas and whatnot. Besides, my muses love recognition and praise…it keeps them around more ~ lol *traps her muses in a cage* Yea, a little harsh, but they deserve it. Besides, they have each other so everything will be…*hears muses rutting in the background* Screwed. In a good way ~ lmao