Hurt me: Hurt me once shame on you

Song: Headstrong Note: /italics/ /Circling your, circling your, circling your head Contemplating everything you ever said Now I see the truth I got a doubt A different motive in your eyes And now I'm out, see you later/ I know I hate him. I know he loves me. Such different emotions and yet they are both just as passionate. I hate the way his lips press against mine, sometimes soft and loving, sometimes demanding and possessive. I hate ending up spread wide for him at every turn. Can you blame me? This was not the life I wanted. /I see your fantasy You want to make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over/ Walking and running, playing and fighting. Normal as I could be. Yes I was small and I'll admit I look a little feminine. I could ignore all the looks from my own gender, even the occasional cocking to feel, I was so young then. /I see your motives inside Decisions to hide/ I was just a child, 14 going on 15. I had so much to live for. So many sins to commit, so much to experience. Only to have my chances at a happy life ripped away by the hands of the man who loved me. Fate is a funny thing isn't it. /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong/ I fought hard, I was so stupid. I never had a chance. A punch, a kick, a scream, a hit. I never should have fought, but who am I kidding. I would never give up back then. /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong And this is not where you belong/ I was always so sure I was right, that good would always prevail. So innocent. So childish. So me. It was always a fight to me. A debate or a fist fight, it didn't matter. I fought to win, no matter what the cost was. /I can't give everything away I won't give everything away/ I never even saw it coming, I never noticed. I believed the I'm sorry and It won't happen again bullshit they fed me when they approached me like that. So stupid. /Conclusions manifest, your first impression's Got to be your very best I see you're full of shit and that's alright That's how you play, I guess you get through Every night, well, now that's over/ I always came home with a bloody mouth or nose. My father always passed me an ice pack from the freezer or a towel from the bathroom. My mom always kissed my head and called me her little warrior. Oh how I miss those times. /I see your fantasy You want to make it a reality paved in gold See inside, inside of our heads, yeah Well, now that's over/ My hair was matted down with blood when I stumbled home that day. There was no ice pack or towel, no kiss or little warrior comment. They were dead. On the floor, bodies in pools of blood. /I see your motives inside Decisions to hide/ I stumbled to the phone and called the police. I trembled as they answered. I told them where I lived and soon they were there. Once they saw the blood they suspected me, but I told them about my fight, they believed me. /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong/ He walked through the front door and picked me up by the collar. I wasn't listening. A punch, a kick, a scream, a hit. I was injured still from earlier. But still I fought tooth and nail. They watched in shock, till he pulled out a gun and pointed it at them. /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong And this is not where you belong/ I still don't understand, what it takes to be a kid again. He ignored them completely, except for the gun. He threw me over his shoulder as I kicked and screamed. Then he walked away. /Where you belong? (I can't give everything away) This is not where you belong (I won't give everything away)/ I don't remember much for a while. Everything had gotten blurry. Something salty and warm dripped down my face. I cried for the first time since I was a little toddler. I was scared, and alone. /I know, I know all about, I know, I know all about I know, I know all about, I know, I know all about Your motives inside and your decision to hide/ Can you blame me for it? Or where I ended up? I with I could have done more, seen more, lived more. It was so hard not to break completely. I locked myself away as a final fight against it all. That's all life was to me. A battle.  /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong Headstrong, we're headstrong/ I fought in my mind as he took me. I punched, kicked, screamed, and hit. But in reality I was to broken to do anything. I was hiding from the world. I was hiding from him. I heard his I love you and why don't you love me without reaction. What did he want me to say? /Back off, I'll take you on Headstrong to take on anyone I know that you are wrong And this is not where you belong/ I miss my family, my life, my innocence. I miss my fight. I see things now clearer then before, because I looked at things like they do not affect me, instead of everything affects me. One day I'll escape this I know it. /Where you belong? This is not were you belong (I can't give everything away) This is not were you belong (I won't give everything away) This is not were you belong/ As I write these words I hold the gun up. I point it at my head, finger at the trigger. My escape has found me. He opens the door as I look him in the eye. My final words were I hate you. And then I pulled the trigger. He ran to me, held me in his arms, cried into my hair. He kept asking me why and I told him once again. I hate you. Even in death I still hate him for all he took from me.