Kirianne Everness - Origin story: Daydreaming

Kiri pulled out the small wooden chair across from her mother and lowered herself onto it. She'd never been as close to her mother as she was to her father. As she sat across from the woman, she began to wonder why there was so much distance between them.

Ebony Everness had been a striking beauty in her youth. Living up to her name, her long black curls cascaded down over her shoulders and down her back. As a young woman, the shining black hair was like waves of obsidian. Now her locks were streaked with silver that glinted in the moonlight. It reminded Kiri of the ocean – the glint of the waves catching the light and reflecting it back. Her bright blue eyes were sharp as she looked at Kiri beneath her full lashes. She was intimidating despite her small size. A lean, muscular woman whose eyes seemed to pierce straight through your soul. It was difficult to keep secrets from Ebony. Maybe that's why Kiri kept her distance. She liked having her secrets.

Kiri found herself shaking under her mother's gaze, but she steeled herself and stared back. She hadn't done anything wrong. Not yet, anyway. So there was nothing for her to worry about, right?

“What is it, mother?” Kiri managed to asked quietly so as not to wake up her father or brother, but she was proud to hear that her voice did not sound as timid as it had earlier with Finean.

“I had hoped to talk to you before the proposal was accepted. Unfortunately, the market has been busier than usual. Kiri – my Kiri,” her mother's eyes softened with love, “marriage is a big first step in a relationship.”

Kiri's eyes hardened. “But it is what is expected of me, is it not? Be a good girl, don't talk back, keep your eyes lowered, don't show your temper to the men at the docks... I've followed all your rules!”

Ebony looked surprised. She hadn't expected an outburst. “Yes. You have, and I am proud of you. As proud as any mother has the right to be! Calm yourself. You've done nothing wrong.” Ebony put her hand over her daughter's and felt it tremble.

Kiri hung her head. “Sorry, mother. It's been a difficult day. Forgive me. What is your concern?”

Ebony sighed. “It's Finean. I suspected he had his eyes on you for a while now, but I had hoped he would at least court you properly before asking your father for your hand.”

Kiri's temper flared again. She suspected? Why had she not said something? Her hand began to fist underneath her mother's touch.

As if reading her thoughts, her mother clutched her hand tighter. “Kiri – I didn't tell you about Finean because I didn't suspect anything would come of it, and I didn't want to frighten you. You've been quieter than usual lately. You've had that listless look in your eyes. I know the wanderlust has been overtaking you. I understand how that feels. What would telling you about Finean have done? Would you have taken it in stride, or would you have avoided him? Perhaps, worse yet, you would run away and decide any life is better than the one you have here, with us.”

Kiri felt her eyes fill with tears. She thought she had been the selfish one, but here was her mother, keeping things from her just in case... what? In case she wanted to live her own life? She clenched her jaw and swallowed the frustration. Best not to follow this line of thought too far. She could be angry later, in the privacy of her room. Somewhere she could scream into a pillow. She closed her eyes, and one of the tears escaped and rolled down her cheek, betraying her. She remained silent, waiting for her mother to go on.

“I know you're angry with me. That's ok. You're young, and I hope one day you'll understand. Just know, everything I have done I have done out of love, not spite.”

Kiri managed a nod. She did know this. She didn't hate her mother. She might not understand the woman, and Ebony's choices often drove her to fits of overwhelming frustration, but she was not evil. She shifted in her chair, the creak of the old wood sounding like a scream in the quiet of the house.

“I understand Finean took you out tonight? A bit late, if you ask me, but at least he's trying to court you now. So, how did it go?”

Kiri breathed in deeply, holding the air in her lungs a moment before slowly exhaling through her mouth. What should she say? How much would she divulge? She did want someone to talk to. And her mother – well, she might judge, but she would be able to read her thoughts like a book anyway. She had an uncanny knack for pulling the truth out of you whether you wanted to tell it or not. May as well accept it, and treat her mother like a friend instead of an obstacle, for a change.

“It went well. He's a good man, mother. He's gentle, and kind, and... warm.”

Ebony raised a dark eyebrow and leaned in closer to her daughter. “Warm? Did he try something tonight, my love?”

“No, nothing you're suggesting anyway. I almost wish he had. But he did kiss me. It was... Nice.”

Ebony leaned back, letting go of her daughter's hand, and studied Kiri's face. A moment passed in silence, until a small musical chuckle left Ebony's throat. “Good. He was a gentleman. And... you didn't want him to be. You'll be alright. Maybe he can make you happy, after all.”

She stood up, smoothing her nightgown. Kiri watched her curiously – not the response she had expected.

Ebony cupped her daughter's cheek, much like Finean had done earlier that night. But this time Kiri felt the difference. His look had been pure heat, but Ebony's was a soothing cool. The knowing touch of a mother.

“Goodnight Kiri. I'm happy for you. And remember – you're going to be married. If you want something from Finean, you can push a little for it now. You are promised.”

And with those final, confusing words, Ebony shut the door to her bedchamber and left Kiri alone.

***

Laying in bed, Kiri's thoughts flitted between her evening with Finean and her talk with her mother. You can push for it now, she had said. This was completely opposite from what they had been drilling into Kiri's head for all her years to date. She was always told to bow her head to the nobles, agree with them and move on. Get her work done, don't ogle, don't stare, don't talk back. But these were rules for in public. As she pictured Finean's face – the warmth in his eyes right before he kissed her – she finally understood. This new advice was different. It was for private moments. Her heart thumped in her chest. She was afraid, but exhilarated. This was the second night in a row where her thoughts would not quiet. Could she just take what she wanted?

It took her another hour at least to fall asleep. When she finally did, her dreams continued her mental conversation. She dreamt of sneaking out and meeting Finean – a secret rendezvous in the woods. He took her hands and led her to her favourite place. And he kissed her – but this time he wouldn't stop.

Kiri woke up sweating, having kicked all her covers off in her sleep. The heat from her body was palpable. She would need to wash before getting to her chores for the day. Pulling out her wash basin, she pulled on her work frock and went outside to get some water from the cistern. She felt as though everyone was staring at her as she scooped up the clean water and brought it inside. Of course, that was ridiculous. No one could know what was on her mind. She was so warm. When her arms touched the water she thought she heard a sizzle, but of course that was her imagination.

She passed the day in distraction. She shut her hair in the door on her way out of her room after washing in the morning. She pricked her finger on the drying hook as she hung the herbs she'd gathered the previous day. Then, she burned her arm on the stove-top when she was boiling water for the noon tea. Her father didn't notice, thankfully. She didn't think she could take the teasing today. Her brother may have seen, but if he did he kept his mouth shut and didn't bother her. They were both working the nets hard today, anyway.

The day passed slowly. Her arm hurt from the burn. She concentrated on the preserves she was canning in an attempt to distract herself from the throbbing. Blueberries simmered over the fire as she stirred.

Blueberries. Blue. Finean's eyes looking into hers. She shook her head. What was wrong with her? She had never – never – thought of Finean so much until last night. Nor any boy, for that matter. Not that she wasn't interested, but she had more important things to do. The blueberries started sticking. She wasn't paying attention, again. Rushing, she grabbed the pot off the fire and brought it to the table, the bubbles popping and spraying hot juices onto the tender underside of her forearm. Another burn. This one wasn't so bad, though. She hoisted the pot up and placed it on her work surface, and continued her chores in silence.

The sun began to set as Kiri chopped the final vegetables and put them in the stew pot. A simple dinner for the family tonight. She didn't like days like this one as much, from a chores stand point. She didn't mind the work, but all of it kept her inside, and the summer days were nearly over. She wanted to enjoy the forest while the leaves were still on the trees. Thinking of the forest got her lost again, remembering her dream.

“ARGH!” She cried out as she cut into her left index finger. “Goddess!” she cursed under her breath, quickly dipping her finger in the nearby wash basin and wrapping it in the bandages she kept on the shelf for just such occasions. At least it wasn't too deep. She checked the peppers she had been chopping. Most of them would be fine. Using her clean hand and a bowl, she swept what could be salvaged into the container and brought them over the the stew, dumping them in. That's it. No more sharp implements today. Or hot ones. Or doors. She was a mess.

A rap at the door brought her back to reality. She smoothed her apron, keeping her bandaged finger off the dirty fabric, and ran her good hand through her hair to make sure it wasn't standing straight up. Trying to look dignified, she opened the door to see Finean. What was he doing here? Her father wasn't home yet. It was early. Wasn't it?

Finean looked at her and grinned. “May I come in?”

“Oh! Oh, yes of course.” Kiri stammered, realizing she had been gaping at him like some kind of fish. How lady-like. She opened the door wider to allow him to step through.

“Is no one else home, yet, Kiri?” Finean looked hopeful.

“Um... No, not yet. It's still early. Isn't it early?”

“Not that early. But early enough, I suppose.” Finean moved quickly towards her, still smiling, and grabbed her hand, pulling it up to his lips. “What did you do to your finger?”

“Oh. Oh, nothing. Just a little cut, that's all.”

“Hm. Ok then.” Finean kissed the bandaged area and put his hand on her hip, drawing her closer. This was less reserved than she had expected. “How long before your family returns?” Kiri smelled the ale on his breath. So that was it. Liquid courage, as her brother had called it. Fine. If he could have some, so could she.

“Any moment now, so you may as well make yourself useful and set the table.” Kiri swept away from Finean, breaking their contact and shoving bowls into his hands. “There will be all five of us tonight.”

Finean looked disappointed, but didn't lose his playful smile. He bowed his head and began to do as he was told. “There's the fire I've heard about! As you wish, my lady.”

Timing would be everything. Finean had more practice than she had at hiding her emotions, and he certainly had more experience with drinking. She poured herself a small mug of her father's moonshine and set it on the shelf just under the counter and out of sight. She would have that later. After dinner, but before Finean took her on their walk. Before their alone time.

As she finished pouring her drink, the door burst open, and she heard her father and brother laughing as they came through the threshold. Seeing Finean, Gabor jumped a little before reaching out his hand to the younger man. “Finean, you're here already! Welcome, then. I see our Kiri has put you to work. Good. You're one of us, now, ha!” The two men shared a strong handshake as Gabor clapped Finean on the shoulder and gestured towards his son. “Of course you know my son, Gideon. Gideon, Finean is your brother-in-law to be!”

“Yes father, I know.” With a friendly smile, Gideon took Finean's hand in both of his, giving an enthusiastic shake of welcome. “The two of you are the main topic of gossip at the docks, you know. All the old women can't think of anything else to pass their time!” Gideon took a moment to glance towards his sister.

Kiri blushed and smiled. She loved this about her brother. While he was strong, and so like her father with his friendly personality, he was always checking to be sure she was alright. Whenever he could, he would bring his grey eyes to hers – an unspoken confirmation. He got that gaze from their mother – he shared Ebony's talent for reading Kiri like a book. Kiri didn't want him to read her right now, though, so she nodded affirmation to let him know she was okay, and turned away to bring the stew to the table, just as her mother shuffled through the door.

“Oh, my darlings, you'd think the market was some new attraction with how many people have been bustling through the square! Now, if only they'd buy a little more we could get ourselves a bloody donkey to carry the carts!” Ebony took off her bonnet and turned gracefully around, suddenly noticing Finean smiling at her with amusement. “Oh! Captain Olenan, what an honour to have you in our home.” Like a switch, Kiri's mother went from busy mother to gracious hostess, giving a low curtsy and bowing her head to the gentleman – the very picture of a lady in service to a lord. Kiri suddenly wondered how she ended up with a poor fisherman like her father – she seemed to have been raised with the aim of being a nobleman's wife.

“I hope my daughter has made you comfortable?” Ebony stole a questioning peek towards Kiri, who was pointedly not looking back at her, instead serving the stew into the bowls at the table.

Finean bowed back, “Absolutely, Mistress Everness. You daughter is the pinnacle of graciousness.”

“Well, if all these formalities are out of the way – this stew smells amazing!” Gabor gestured towards the spread as he pulled out his seat at the head of the table. “Let us all sit and partake.”

The party sat, scraping the old teak chairs on the floor as they pushed themselves towards the table. A few words thanking the Goddess for her bounty, and the game of dining with a guest began. Kiri wasn't worried about her parents. Well, maybe a little about her father, as he seemed to be in particularly high spirits. But she didn't know how Finean would behave with the drinks she knew he'd already had before arrival. She was learning a lot about this man in a very short period of time.

Niceties were exchanged about the quality of the food and the fortunes of the day. Nothing Kiri was inclined to take part in other than friendly nods and words of thanks where appropriate. She sat across from her mother, with her father on her left side. Finean sat to her right, and her brother Gideon sat across from him. As the small talk went on, Kiri felt a hand brush against her leg. Finean quietly rested his left hand on her thigh under the table and gave her a light squeeze. Kiri felt her face grew hot, and hoped her family didn't notice. What was he doing? Couldn't he wait? She kept her head down and quietly ate her stew, only raising her head again when she heard her name.

“Kiri?” Her father's voice made his way through her thoughts as she realized they were all looking at her now.

“Hm?” Kiri flung herself back into the moment.

“Finean asked you a question, love.” There was that look of amusement on her father's face. Kiri felt annoyed at this. Usually her father's teasing didn't get to her much, but this time he was enjoying her suffering a little too much.

“Sorry, Finean.” Kiri looked at the man beside her and quickly came up with something that might sound plausible. “I was... I was making wedding plans.” Oh, Goddess. That wasn't it! Why couldn't she just be herself today. Because saying she was thinking of his hand on her leg was a little much, even for this family.

“I had asked if you'd like to walk with me after dinner again.” Finean smiled down at her. “We can talk about wedding plans then, if you'd like.”

“Oh!” Kiri managed to steady herself. May as well go with it. “Sure. I mean – certainly, my Lord.”

“Just Finean, Kiri. Please.” He raised an eyebrow at her and squeezed her leg again.

“Finean. I'm sorry.”

“Kiri, what has gotten into you today?” Gabor started, staring at his daughter. The amusement was gone now – he looked genuinely concerned. This time, it was her mother that came to her rescue.

“It's my fault, darling. I kept her up late last night. We had to discuss... certain things in private.”

“Yes! Yes, my apologies. I'm just tired. A good night's rest and I'll be back to normal.”

“Do you need me to let you alone tonight?” Finean looked at her, removing his hand from her leg. Bless! At least that distraction was gone.

“No, it's fine. The fresh air might help. I've been cooped up in the house all day. Again, my apologies.”

The table calmed. Exchanges continued, banal conversation peppered with light-hearted jabs between father and son, and formal questioning between Ebony and Finean. Kiri remained silent. Listening, now. At least she could focus a little better.

After dinner Kiri began to clear up, but her mother put a gentle, though rough, hand over hers. “I will wash up tonight, my love. Go – take your walk. The night won't last forever.”

Again? Kiri never got out of her chores like this unless sickness had gripped her. Far be it from her to argue, though. “Yes, mother. Thank you.” She kissed Ebony on the cheek and went to her room to change into a clean frock, slipping behind the counter to down her 'liquid courage' on her way out the door.