September Monthly Challenge 2022: Oneshot

It wasn’t all that often you saw an elf wearing a straw hat, but in the afternoon Idyl sun, it was pretty much essential headgear.

 

Gylfinir was the current trustee of the Arleigh estate, a 300-year-old apple orchard and home of the sweetest cider this side of the valley. Like every trustee before him, he was a Feathercloak-- a tall, thin weasel of a feravo-- sworn to preserve the great Eve Arleigh’s legacy for generations to come. Not drought nor flood nor realtors had shaken him, but for Nokt's sake, this latest crisis was just about to do him in.

 

“Listen, I love nature and all of Nokt’s creations as much as the next elf, but there has to be something you can do. Traps, poison, name your price. It’s a full-on infestation in there!“

 

The horned blue cat in a trenchcoat shook her head. “No can do, sir. By the looks of it, you’ve got wo’as, and the Migratory Wo’a Treaty Act forbids killing, selling, or hunting them for any reason.”

 

Gylfinir made a big show of huffing and puffing as Livia turned to leave. But the moment she was out of earshot, he kicked an empty basket towards a waiting teenager and her bright pink hawk.

 

“Pick as many good apples as you can, and if you find one that’s mostly clean, go ahead and, you know…” He mimed a chopping motion with his paw. “And keep this quiet. Don’t want that bleedin’ hunter to get wind of this.”

 

“Will do, sir!” Tiffany said. It wasn’t the most ethical work in Wyvera, but the ranch paid like they offered room and board (they didn’t) and she’d been eyeing a new pair of work boots in town. Plus, ‘worked for the oldest orchard in Midelton’ would look great on a resume. “Come on, Aster. You take the north, and I’ll take the south.”

 

Aster picked up the basket in her beak. ‘Infestation’ might’ve been an understatement. As the pair walked down the main row of trees, every single one seemed to be writhing with fuzzy worms, each a foot long and covered in brightly-coloured, hair-like setae. Half-eaten, rotting apples lay piled up in their wake, and they didn’t seem to be slowing down. Aster turned in a circle and slapped one with her tail. It bristled at her and slithered away.

 

“Sorry, little guy. I really didn’t want to do this.”

 

Aster saw that her rider had cornered one of the smaller wo’as. It cowered as she raised her hand high… and then chopped down onto empty air, exactly as Gylfinir had demonstrated. The wo’a blinked as Tiffany continued to chop towards it, then rolled its eyes and wriggled off to the next tree.

 

“Huh. I guess that worked?”

 

Oh, right over there! A pristine apple! Aster trotted over to it, reaching up on her tippy-talons to pull it off the tree– and came face-to-face with a yellow-and-black striped wo’a doing the same thing. The creature narrowed its eyes at her, sucking in a breath to let out a fearsome hiss. She drew her head back and slammed it beakfirst, and while it was reeling, she plucked the fruit and tossed it into the basket.

 

Some progress, at least. Aster poked her head up to see how Tiffany was doing.

 

Still chopping at wo’as, apparently. A small audience of the beasts had gathered around her, watching as she ‘killed’ each of them in turn. A few even pretended to swoon and faint. Well, at least they weren’t eating the apples anymore.

 

‘Hey. HEY!’

 

A particularly bold wo’a was trying to drag the basket away. Aster kicked it, and it squealed as it went flying over the trees. Oops. Hopefully they were like real worms, and didn’t have skeletons, or something.

 

While Tiffany was playing plaid piper on one end of the orchard, Aster swept up and down the rows on the other, balancing the basket in the seat of her saddle. Most of the apples had unsightly little bites taken out of them, but the wo’as had missed a few, and she managed to fill the basket at least half-full. Gylfinir sighed in relief as she emerged from the trees, her bounty held proudly aloft.

 

“Perfect timing! I’ve got a walk-in here, needs a few Idyl Delicious for her pie, apparently…”

 

He took the basket and ran over to a grey-haired human woman, who was reading a book in the back of her raptor-pulled buggy.

 

“About time. I was just about to head down to– Doy blimey! What on Wyvera is that?”

 

Gylfinir gasped as the yellow-and-black wo’a from before popped its head out of the basket, a perfect red apple in its teeth.

 

“Oh Nokt… I am so sorry, ma’am, let me just get that for you…”

 

“No, hold on. Let me just…”

 

The woman held out her hand. The wo’a dropped the apple and slithered up her arm, looped around her shoulders, and came to rest in a perfect scarf position around her neck.

 

“Oh… oh my. So soft. So stylish…”

 

“Hold on. You actually like this horrible beast?”

 

“Horrible? Why, it’s darling! It goes perfectly with my evening dress. I’ll be the talk of the Soutton Ball! How much do I owe you?”

 

Aster stared at Gylfinir. Gylfinir stared back. She could almost see the scheme building in his head.

 

“It’s free,” they said in unison. ‘Free with every purchase of an apple.’

 

“Marvelous! I’ll be sure to pass the word along.”

 

Aster helped to place the basket in the seat next to the woman, and she flicked the driving whip and sped off down the road.

 

Gylfinir chuckled as he slipped her baubles into his coin pouch. “Well, my fine-feathered friend, it seems we’ve stumbled upon an opportunity. All we need is a safe, efficient way to round these creatures up…”

 

“Hey, guys. What’d I miss?”

 

Tiffany had come out of the orchard at last, a line of wo’as slithering behind her. Gylfinir’s jaw dropped, but like any shrewd businessman, he recovered enough to straighten up and give a charismatic smile.

 

“Nothing. Nothing at all. Say, how would you like to double your pay? I just need you to do a little something for me…”