Time for a Change: It Won't Last

Time for a Change
Chapter Eleven
By: Lori Finnegan
2006

Once again, Draco had spent most of his night staring up at his ceiling and contemplating his life. Not only was he not looking forward to spending his Christmas holiday at Hogwarts with his boring professors, but he was still worrying about Pansy and everything that had happened between them in the past week.

And for some reason, he couldn’t get his mind off of those notes he had found in the secret room. Her explanations of the project had seemed completely reasonable, it was just how she had explained it to him that got him wondering about her true intentions.

Finally, he threw his covers off, and climbed out of bed.

Enough thinking, it was time to get some answers.

_________________________________________________________________________

Sunday morning so far, Hermione thought as she sat alone in a quiet Slytherin Common Room, was long and drawn out. She figured it was because the time when the potion would be done was drawing nearer… and now that some of her secrets were out in the open, and Draco was becoming more suspicious, she had to be really careful to keep herself under cover.

Time was starting to crawl.

She had just finished her Arithmancy homework when the door to the boys’ dormitories opened and Draco Malfoy, still clad in his fancy silk pajamas emerged. His cold eyes were fixed right on her.

“I can’t take it anymore,” he said, skipping over his usual greeting as he walked over and stood in front of her.

Hermione looked up at him. “Well, good morning to you, too,” she said to him, her eyes wide. “I trust you slept well?”

“I feel like you’re hiding something from me,” he said, and Hermione realized that he definitely wasn’t in the mood for small talk.

“What could I possibly be hiding from you?” she asked as if this were a normal conversation between Pansy and Draco.

Draco folded his arms over his chest. “Well, for one thing,” he said, “why are you up at six o’clock in the morning doing your homework? It’s the weekend, for Merlin’s sake!”

“I realize it’s the weekend,” Hermione admitted as she pulled her eyes away from his forceful gaze. “But I have lots of homework that’s due tomorrow, and there’s no time for slacking.”

He continued to stare at her. “You confuse me,” he said after a moment of silence and then ran his hands through his hair in frustration before sitting down on a large chair across from her. “Then again, what’s new?” he muttered. “Everything confuses me!”

Hermione put her book down to consider this new side of Draco. He almost looked like a normal wizard with normal frustrations. But before she had long to contemplate him, he was sitting up straight with his eyes set back on her face.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” he asked. “It’s seriously killing me that you won’t say anything about it.”

“About what?” Hermione played dumb. “Honestly, Draco, it’s you who’s confusing me.”

“I don’t know,” he said. “But it’s obvious that something is going on that I don’t know about. And I’m not kidding, Pans, I get really, really frustrated when people keep things from me.”

Hermione blinked at him. Wasn’t it obvious? “How about we talk about the things you’re keeping from me,” she suggested, trying to turn the conversation around. Besides, she couldn’t even imagine the amount of secrets Draco kept inside his pointy skull.

“This isn’t about me,” Draco said, sticking his nose in the air. “We’re talking about you, here.”

“I’m just bringing up a point.” Hermione pushed her book away from her lap and onto the couch to focus more on him. “If you aren’t telling me everything, then how do you expect me to be completely honest with you?”

Draco stared at her with his mouth slightly open.

“It works both ways, you know,” she said, and then decided to take a chance. “And don’t say that you’re not keeping anything from me, because I’ll never buy it.” Geez, she even felt more like Pansy at this point.

He folded his arms back over his chest and looked away from her. “Can’t a guy keep some things personal?” he wanted to know.

“And can’t a girl?” she countered. “Not everything in my life needs to be shared with you.”

“Yeah,” he said as he looked back at her, his eyes shining. “And I understand that. There are some things you never want to tell anyone. However, when your best friends starts acting strangely, and you know something is up, isn’t it normal to want to help out?”

This time it was Hermione’s turn to gape at him. He actually sounded quite decent at that moment, and she hated to admit that he was right. She hated losing debates. “I suppose so,” she confessed. “But if it was something like that, don’t you think you’d be the first person I’d tell?”

Draco glanced away from her. “Maybe,” he muttered. “I just feel like we’re drifting lately, and I don’t want to lose you.”

Hermione couldn’t ignore his statement, as he had sounded so sincere. Instead of replying, she stood up from her spot on the couch and went to sit beside him, squeezing in besides him on the chair and draping her arm across his chest. She hadn’t planned on being this close to him again in her time left as Pansy, but not only did he look miserable, but she also had to keep him from continuing to ask the hard questions. But she couldn’t help but notice how warm it was next to his body.

Draco’s fingers came to rest over her hand, and he looked down at her quietly.

“Just stop worrying,” she told him gently. “Everything will work out in the end, you’ll see.” And she hoped that she wasn’t lying to him. Once he had Pansy back, things would go right back to being normal for them, and he would forget about Pansy’s sudden change in personality. Everything would be the same as before…

“You sound like you’re leaving,” Draco muttered, his voice calm.

“I am,” she said, feeling his body tense slightly. “For Christmas holiday, dummy,” she smiled against his silk pajama shirt. It was then that she wished she could invite him to come with her for the holidays. It was so sad that his own family was deserting him. It would only make sense for him to come home with a friend. It was just too bad that they weren’t actually friends…

“Oh,” he said. “Well, think of me sitting here by myself.”

Hermione blinked. He obviously shared her thoughts. “I don’t know what to say, Draco,” she admitted. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Tell me what’s going on,” he said again. “I want to know what’s been bothering you lately.”

Hermione couldn’t answer him. Instead, she pulled up her legs and snuggled closer to his side.

“If the potion you’re brewing really is Snape’s extra credit assignment, then how come you have to brew it in the secret room? Wouldn’t it make more sense to brew it in your dormitory? Or in the Potions lab?”

Hermione closed her eyes tightly. She shouldn’t have underestimated his intelligence. “It stinks,” she admitted without hesitation. While this was the truth, it wasn’t the reason why they had been brewing it in the secret room. For one, it would have been fairly difficult to sneak Pansy into the Slytherin dormitories when she looked just like a Gryffindor, and secondly, if anyone caught her with the potion in her possession, she would have gotten in big trouble. “I mean literally,” she elaborated. “The potion stinks like hell.”

“Oh,” Draco said, as if accepting her answer. “I didn’t smell it when I was in there… but then again, I wasn’t sure where you were keeping the potion in the room. I didn’t see it.”

She frowned. At least he hadn’t tampered with the potion. That would be the last thing she needed.

“Couldn’t you have just used a concealment charm to disguise the smell of the potion?” Draco suggested. “Snape says he uses those all the time for particularly nasty potions.”

“Oh,” Hermione said, giving him a nervous laugh. “Believe it or not, I didn’t really think of that.”

Draco snaked his arm around her waist and held her tight. “Just promise me one thing,” he implored, leaning down so that his lips were very close to her forehead. “Promise that if something is really wrong, that I’ll be the first person you’ll come to.”

Hermione didn’t like to take her promises lightly, but in this case, she really didn’t have a choice but to agree with him. “Of course,” she said, tightening her fingers around his silk pajamas. “I promise you’ll be the first person I tell.” Besides, after she was back in her own body, the promise would be null and void.

Right?

Draco gave a soft sigh and then planted a quick kiss at the center of her forehead. “Great,” he said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

_________________________________________________________________________

Harry and Pansy had fallen asleep in the Common Room once Harry had made sure that Ron had gotten into bed safely. He had come down the stairs, fallen on the couch next to Pansy and mumbled a few words. Shortly after, the two of them were both asleep, slouched over on the cushions.

It wasn’t until Ginny shook Pansy awake that she sat up in alarm. “What are you guys doing here?” she demanded as Harry sat up too, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Do you realize it’s eleven o’clock?”

Pansy shrugged, but Harry’s eyes widened so much that his green eyes nearly bulged right out of his head. He smacked himself in the forehead and his glasses slipped even further down his nose.

“The game!” he explained. “I can’t believe I forgot!”

Ginny grabbed his arm and pulled him up from the couch. “Get up and get your things! If you run down there now, you’ll make it just in time!”

Harry rushed up the stairs to the boys’ dormitories without another word, leaving Ginny and Pansy alone in the Common Room.

“What happened?” Ginny wanted to know. “When everyone left for the game, they didn’t even see you two sleeping all the way back here. I asked Lavender where you had run off to, and she said when she woke up, you were already gone. Ron didn’t know where you guys were. He’s already down at the field.”

Pansy didn’t know what to say to her. She didn’t even know completely what was going through Ron’s head, so she didn’t know how to explain it to Ginny. “Something was up with Ron…” she started. “When Harry woke up, he wasn’t in his bed… so he woke me up. We went to find him…”

“Wait, what?” Ginny asked as she sat down besides Pansy. “But he seemed just fine to me.”

“I don’t know,” Pansy confessed. Hermione’s friends were so damn nosy. “We found him in the Owlery just brooding. He’s apparently upset about something, but won’t say a word to Harry or me. Maybe you could talk to him.”

Ginny stood up and grabbed Pansy’s wrist. “Come on,” she said as she pulled her up from the couch. “Go get your things. We’ll meet Ron in the stands and see what he has to say.”

Pansy gave her a slight smile. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to know what Ron had to say. Just two more days, and she’d never have to worry about this situation again. It would be Hermione’s turn to deal with it.

_________________________________________________________________________

Ron was in the center of the Gryffindor side of the stands, looking out at the field at the players zooming around on their brooms. Five more minutes and warm ups would end. Then the captains would have a word with their players before taking the field once more for the game.

He had gotten a few hours of sleep, and then rushed off to the field, expecting Harry to already be there, but for some reason, Harry was not doing warm ups with his other teammates… and he swore he caught several of the players giving each other nervous looks. He would have gone back to the dormitories to search for Harry, but considering the game was about to start, and it would probably take him about twenty minutes to work his way through the crowds of people and out of the stands, he decided to just wait and hope that Harry showed up.

He was staring absent absentmindedly out at the field when two figures came barging through the stands towards him and snapped him out of his daze. He turned to look their way and immediately saw Ginny’s bright hair and Hermione’s curls… and for a moment, he forgot she was Pansy.

But just for a moment.

“Where’s Harry?” he demanded without so much as a hello as they stood besides him and caught their breaths. It was obvious that they had run all the way from the castle.

“We fell asleep on the couch in the back of the Common Room,” Pansy explained as she leaned against the railing to face the two of them. “Ginny just woke us up a few minutes ago… Harry should be here soon.”

“Geez,” Ron said, frowning at her. “How could he sleep through Quidditch?”

“You’re asking the wrong person,” Pansy said, frowning right back at him. “But perhaps it was because he was up so early this morning looking for you?”

“Look,” Ron said, “he was lucky enough to make the team. He should have been here early.”

“It wasn’t luck,” he heard Ginny mumble from beside him, and he shot her a glare. “Hate to break it to you,” she said.

“Whatever,” Ron muttered as he tried to shove Pansy away from the railing as she was disrupting his view of the field. “Just leave me watch the game in peace.”

Pansy moved to the other side of Ginny, and both girls fell silent. Several minutes later, the band started playing and the players flew out onto the field... and this time, the Gryffindor team included Harry.

_________________________________________________________________________

Hermione leaned against the railing on the opposite side of the field from her Gryffindor classmates and stared out at the players flying by. She could see Draco with his familiar smirk on his face as he high-fived several of his teammates on his way to the highest position of their formation. She could also see Harry opposite of him.

Madam Hooch threw the quaffle up into the sky, and the game began.

Hermione watched anxiously as the players moved into action. She was never a huge Quidditch fan, but watching Harry out there always made her nervous. He had gotten hurt pretty badly on several different occasions, so when she watched, she always sat on pins and needles, expecting the worse. And now, from the other side of the field, she couldn’t help but worry about one other person as well.

“Don’t look so worried,” Blaise said from beside her. “Of course we’re going to win the Quidditch Cup.”

Hermione glanced at him, but looked away before she could betray herself. Of course Slytherin would win? How did he know, anyway? “Yeah,” she muttered, not wanting to cause any sort of disagreement.

They stood there against the railings together, cheering on with the Slytherin crowds as the players flew above their heads, trying to score goals against each other.

“Go Slytherin!” Blaise screamed so loudly that Hermione had to stop herself from covering her ears. “That a way! Where’s the snitch, Draco?! Find that snitch!”

“Ugh,” Hermione groaned quietly. Sltherins weren’t that different from Gryffindors when it came to Quidditch.

Just as she was about to look back at him to comment that there was more to life than Quidditch, one of the beaters on the Slytherin team, hit a bludger so hard, that the crack of his bat echoed around the field. The bludger whipped across the sky and hit Harry, who had been searching for the snitch on the north side of the field, directly in the shoulder. It hit him so hard, that he fell from his broom and landed on the ground beside the goal post.

Hermine gasped as she leaned forward and over the railing. She almost yelled for Harry, but stopped herself just in time. Instead, she was frozen, breathing heavily as she stared at his limp body. Once her body allowed itself to move again, she pushed a confused Blaise aside and made her way out of the stands, Slytherin Quidditch fans threatening to hex her on her way out.

Still breathing hard, she flew down the stairs and ran around the corner. And just before she was about to run out onto the field, she stopped dead in her tracks and grabbed the wooden beam next to the Slytherin stands.

“I can’t do this,” she said under her breath as she watched the Gryffindor teammates landing on the ground and rushing to Harry’s side. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pretend to not be me.”

No matter what she did, she wasn’t going to be able to help Harry, so she stood there, watching him from beside the stands and tried to keep the tears from falling down her cheeks. She hoped Harry would be okay.

Madam Pomfrey rushed out onto the field with her kit of medical supplies and approached Harry. Hermione watched as the other players and professors that had also gathered cleared a path for her. She caught a quick glimpse of his face and noticed that his green eyes seemed to be slightly open. She let out a small breath and loosened her grip on the wooden beam, immediately noticing several splinters that had stuck into her palms.

Just as she was picking them out, one by one, Blaise came around the corner and put his hand on her shoulder. “Are you okay?” he wanted to know. “The way you ran off like that… I didn’t know what to think. I mean, it was either you were concerned about Harry Potter, or you were suddenly worried about your Potions exam.” He gave a little laugh.

Hermione jumped slightly at his laugh, and turned around to look at him, hoping he wouldn’t be able to see the tears welling up in her eyes. “I was just feeling sick,” she said slowly, and it wasn’t a lie. “I thought I was going to throw up, and I didn’t want to do it in the stands.”

“Oh,” Blaise said, backing off a little, probably for fear that she’d vomit on his shoes or something. “Did you?” he asked.

“No,” she told him. “I think I’m feeling better now. I just needed some space to breathe.”

“Oh, good,” Blaise said, looking relieved. “But maybe I should take you to the hospital wing anyway. You don't want to end up sick tomorrow.”

Hermione looked back at the scene out on the field, and saw that they were getting ready to take him back to the hospital wing. “Just give me a minute,” she said quietly, not even turning to look back at Blaise.

“Okay…” Blaise said from behind her. “I’ll just wait here till you are. Merlin knows if I leave you out here sick and alone, Draco will hex me.”

_________________________________________________________________________

Harry groaned as he was placed on a bed in the hospital wing. He didn’t remember much from his fall, but he did know that he’d done a number on his legs. Both of them were throbbing so painfully, that any movement at all sent a splitting pain running right up his spine.

It wasn’t long until Madam Pomfrey was at his side with a strange bottle that he had never seen before. “The best thing to do right now is to give you this sleeping draft. I’m sorry, Mr. Potter, but you don’t want to be awake for what’s to come. Trust me.” And before he knew it, she had propped his head up and was pushing the bottle to his lips.

_________________________________________________________________________

Pansy trailed behind Ron and Ginny as they climbed the stairs that went straight to the hospital wing. All three of them had been watching as Harry fell to the floor of the Quidditch field, but were unable to get through the crowds in the Gryffindor stands to rush by his side. Finally, after Harry had been carried away, they broke free from the crowds and rushed behind him up to the castle.

Ron pushed open the doors to the main area of the hospital wing, and the other two followed him in. They were greeted immediately by Professor McGonagall, who held her arms out to prevent them from passing.

“I’m sorry,” she said, glancing from face to face. “I know you’d like to see Potter, but he’s to have no visitors at this time. Direct orders from Madam Pomfrey.”

“But Professor McGonagall,” Ron started. “We have to know if he’s okay. Just let us in for a moment. We promise to be quiet.”

“No can do, Mr. Weasley,” McGonagall said as she shook her head at him. “You’ll have to come back after dinner and inquire then. Please, turn around and go back to your dormitories. I will send for you if he is doing better before dinner.”

Ginny and Ron turned around with hanging heads, and Pansy turned to follow them out the door.

“Miss Granger,” Pansy heard Professor McGonagall say just as she was about to walk through the door. “If you don’t mind staying behind for a moment, there is something I’d like to talk to you about.”

Pansy looked back at her, unsure. “Um, okay,” she agreed, and shut the door behind herself.

McGonagall glanced behind herself quickly to make sure there was no one else in the room, and then turned back to Pansy. “To be honest, Miss Granger, I’ve been a little worried about you this past week. You don’t seem as active in my class, and the other professors have been making the same comments to me. Are you feeling well? Is there something you’d care to talk about?”

Pansy took in a deep breath after it seemed like she was done talking. “I was hoping you didn’t notice,” she said, looking down at her feet and trying to come up with some sort of believable excuse on the spot. “The truth is, I’ve just been going through several personal issues, and it’s hard to get my mind off of them… even during class.”

“I see,” McGonagall said when Pansy looked back up at her. “But what really confuses me is that your homework assignments seem right on.”

“Oh,” Pansy said. She hadn’t thought about that. “It’s just a little easier for me to concentrate when I’m on my own. Easier to block things out, you know?”

“Miss Granger, if there’s anything you’d like to discuss, I’ll always be willing to listen. Sometimes it helps if you just get it off your chest.”

Pansy nodded. Professor McGonagall was right… but no matter how right she was, there was no way she could ever tell her about what was going on this time. “Thank you, Professor,” she said, trying her best to be polite. “I’ll keep that in mind in the future.”

McGonagall nodded. “See you in class tomorrow,” she said, and then turned to go back into Madam Pomfrey’s office.

Pansy watched as the door closed until she exited the hospital wing to find Ron and Ginny waiting for her worriedly.

“Is everything okay?” Ginny wanted to know as they began their trek back to the Gryffindor Towers.

“It’s fine,” Pansy said. She didn’t think that they’d be waiting for her, so she hadn’t even given a thought as to what to say she had been talking about with McGonagall. “She just noticed that I had been a bit withdrawn lately, that’s all.”

This seemed to spike Ron’s interest. “Oh, really?” he said, turning to look past Ginny and at Pansy. “You don’t seem at all withdrawn to me, Hermione.”

Pansy glanced at him quickly and then went on. “She meant in class. I guess I’ve just been doing more independent study lately.”

“Oh,” Ron said, falling back into step besides his sister. “Well, you have been overly quiet in class lately. The only reason I didn’t say anything was because I figured Harry had already talked to you about it.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Pansy assured them. “There have just been an awful lot of things going on lately. It’s hard to keep my mind focused on just one thing at a time. But it’ll calm down sooner or later. I promise you that.”

“Yeah,” Ron agreed. “I’m sure it will.”

“I can’t wait for the Christmas holiday,” Ginny muttered as they reached the Grand Staircase.

_________________________________________________________________________

Draco came back from the game in high spirits. Even though the Slytherin team had won by default, they had still won, and that was really all that mattered. It was just another sign that they would win the Quidditch cup once again. The only thing that bothered him was that when the game call had been announced, and he had looked over at the stands, he couldn’t see either Pansy or Blaise there among the crowd. He had felt a little stupid waving at Crabbe and Goyle.

Draco and several of his teammates burst into the Slytherin Common Room with plenty of Quidditch fans behind him, and plenty of fans waiting for him on the inside. When they caught sight of each other, everyone cheered.

Draco scanned the room for Pansy, but didn’t spot her anywhere… not even in the back with a book glued to her nose like he had caught her several times during the last week.

And his mood suddenly fell. Without Pansy there to celebrate with them, he wasn’t so much in the celebrating mood anymore. And it was only a few minutes before he had had all of the pumpkin juice he could handle and decided to find Pansy to make sure everything was okay.

“Hey, Blaise,” he said, elbowing his friend in the side. “Have you seen Pansy lately? I haven’t seen her since the beginning of the game.”

Blaise turned around with a drink in each hand. “Yeah, man, she was looking sick after the game. I walked her over to the hospital wing.”

“Oh,” Draco said. It suddenly made sense why she had disappeared so quickly. “Thanks. See you guys later.” He said, and then rushed to the door and pushed it open.

_________________________________________________________________________

“There, there, Miss Parkinson, it really isn’t that bad,” Madam Pomfrey said as she set a cold wash cloth on Hermione’s forehead. “Many things can cause nausea, but I’m not really sure this time. It’s best to just treat the symptoms in this case.” She handed Hermione a small cup filled with a warm yellow liquid. “Drink this. Should have you feeling better in a few hours.”

Hermione stared down at the liquid. Instead of working on her homework she was stuck in the hospital wing just because of her lie to Blaise. Now she had to pretend to actually be sick and drink Madam Pomfrey’s disgusting draft. Hermione sat up slightly, plugged her nose, and downed the draft.

It burned all the way down before settling in the pit of her stomach. Suddenly, she felt very sleepy… and the next thing she knew, her head was back on the pillow and Madam Pomfrey was covering her with a warm blanket.
_________________________________________________________________________

Harry was just waking up when the door burst open, and Malfoy stood there with a look of determination on his face.

“Oh,” he said, looking overly disappointed. “It’s just you.”

“Who did you expect?” Harry asked. “Santa Clause? Did you come to bribe him because you’ve been such a rotten git this year? How many years in a row have you gotten coal in your stocking, Malfoy?”

“Shut up, Potter,” Malfoy said, his hand going back to the door knob. “What I’m doing here is no business of yours.”

“Then leave,” Harry suggested, and Malfoy complied, but not without a sneer before he opened the door and hurried out, slamming it behind himself.

Harry pulled his blankets back up and turned over on his cot. Not only had he ruined the game by falling from his broom, but his legs hurt like hell, and the first face he saw when he woke up was that of Draco Malfoy’s.

What luck.

_________________________________________________________________________

After Draco had left the area that Potter was in, he continued on his search for Pansy. As luck would have it, she was in the next room that he tried… only she was sleeping soundly. He sat down on the cot besides hers and stared at her sleeping face.

He hoped she wasn’t too sick, but by the looks of things, she seemed to be doing fine. Maybe she wouldn’t even have to stay overnight. Perhaps Draco could come and pick her up after dinner.

He stood up from the cot and sat down on the floor besides her bed. “I don’t really understand you,” he whispered. “You seem so different from the girl I used to know…”

He couldn’t go on. The words were still caught in his throat. So he rested his head down besides hers and closed his eyes. He would stay with her till Madam Pomfrey returned to check on her.