Time for a Change: A Stolen Kiss

Time for a Change
Chapter Six
By: Lori Finnegan
2006

 

On the way out of Potions, Draco and Blaise walked in front of Hermione, elbowing each other in the ribs and laughing about something or other, though Hermione had a pretty good idea of what. Behind her, Crabbe and Goyle were fantasizing about their next meal, and Hermione, being sandwiched between four too many Slytherins, couldn’t wait to grab a bag lunch from the Great Hall and sneak unnoticed back to Pansy’s room for a long study session.

 

But before they arrived at the Great Hall, Draco crept up besides Hermione and had his arm around her waist before she could hit him away.

 

“So how about some late night Arithmancy lessons?” he said into her ear.

 

Hermione shoved him away so hard that he spent the next minute or so rubbing his shoulder. “You wish, Balloon Head,” she muttered. “I’ve got tons of my own homework to do, so I most certainly won’t be doing yours for you.”

 

Draco jumped in front of her, walking backwards as they moved along the hall. “I wasn’t talking about homework,” he winked. “But if you insist. I’ll just spend my night alone, studying my Arithmancy all by my lonesome.”

 

She shoved past him. “You are disgusting!” she exclaimed, and rushed ahead of the group. “See you guys later, I have too much homework to think about dinner!”

 

Just before she turned around, she caught a glimpse of Blaise waving back at her as Draco pouted. Crabbe and Goyle, on the other hand, were still drooling, imagining what was to come when they reached the Great Hall.

_____________________________________________________________________

After Potions, Harry was still thinking of his conversation with Ron. He should have never told Ron about his feelings for Hermione, but it was too late now. He had already done the damage.

 

 

He thought about just telling Hermione about everything just to get it out in the open so that Ron’s relationship with Hermione would be spared, but the thought of actually saying the words out loud so that Hermione’s ears would hear them, scared him beyond reason.

 

That was definitely not an option. Not right now, anyway.

 

He opened the door to his dormitory, Ron and Neville following in behind him. They all set their things down and settled themselves in the room. Harry sat on his bed and pulled out his Transfiguration homework from his back pack.

 

“You know,” he heard Neville say from the other side of the room. “Something seems really peculiar to me lately.”

 

“Oh?” Ron and Harry said in unison.

 

“Yeah…” Neville went on as Harry turned to look at him. “It’s Hermione.”

 

Harry’s head spun towards Ron, his eyes wide as if to say, ‘I told you so.’

 

“She’s just different than she usually is,” Neville continued, and Harry and Ron’s heads snapped back to look at him. “Have you two noticed?” he asked. “Is there something going on that I don’t know about?” When neither Harry nor Ron said anything, Neville sat down on his bed and gave a nervous smile. “I mean, you don’t have to tell me if it’s not something she’d like shared, but I was just concerned.”

 

“No,” Harry said finally. “It’s okay. And actually, we don’t know what’s going on with her either. I was just thinking that something seemed a little off a few days ago, but this dolt here,” he stuck his thumb over his shoulder at Ron, “assured me that everything was ship shape, and I was thinking too much about things.”

 

“I don’t know,” Neville sighed, looking down at his hands. “It’s not really in an obvious sort of way… but it’s just small things. Like, last week, Hermione told me she’d help me with my Potions homework… but then when I asked her about it yesterday, she gave me a really strange look before agreeing. It was as if she had no idea what I was talking about.”

 

“Maybe she was just distracted or something,” Ron offered.

 

“Maybe,” Harry considered. “I think I’m going to talk to her again though… and see if something is bothering her, or if something is on her mind that she hasn’t been talking to us about.”

 

“I still think you’re overreacting,” Ron muttered.

 

“Even so, Ron,” Harry said, turning towards him. “If something is bothering her, we should try our best to help her.”

 

Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry. “Perhaps what’s bothering her is that a certain someone won’t tell her a certain thing that’s been on his mind.”

 

“Hey,” Harry said, his voice rising slightly. “That’s not fair, Ron, and you know it.”

 

Ron looked away from him. “Sorry,” he mumbled, but Harry didn’t think he meant it.

 

“Yeah,” Harry said, getting up from his bed and walking towards the door. He looked back at both Ron, and then at Neville, who looked very confused about what had just transpired, and put his hand on the door knob. “See you guys later. I’m going to go find Hermione.”

________________________________________________________________________

Pansy, looking incredibly suspicious, she was sure, had crept down into the dungeons and into her secret underground hideout and where she and Hermione were stashing their secret potion. She was sick of people looking at her and thinking she was Hermione. She just wanted to be herself and act like herself… and the Slytherin hideout was the only place she could think of where no one would even come close to bothering her, much less finding her.

 

 

Just as she was about to enter the room, a hand snatched her wrist. She gasped, looking up and wondering who had caught her.

 

“Hermione!” she hissed, seeing her own face staring at her with wide eyes.

 

“Yes, it’s me!” Hermione hissed back. “What do you think you’re doing down here? And you shouldn’t call me that when anyone could come around the corner. People will either figure us out or think we’re crazy!”

 

“I know!” Pansy said, wriggling her wrist away from Hermione’s grasp. “You just startled me, geez! And why are we standing out here arguing? We should at least go inside.” She pushed the door open and then pulled Hermione in by her sleeve.

 

“Good,” Hermione agreed after the door was securely shut behind them. “I wanted to talk to you anyway. We didn’t really have a lot of time to talk this morning.”

 

Pansy rolled her eyes. “Don’t take this personally, Hermione, but chatting with you wasn’t exactly the first thing on my list this morning.”

 

“And speaking of which,” Hermione said, continuing Pansy’s train of thought. “How are things going with Harry and Ron? Have you figured out what’s going on yet?”

 

“Ah,” Pansy said, meaning to sound a bit disinterested so that this little talk wouldn’t go on for too long. She did have massive homework, after all. “Trouble in paradise, obviously,” she said. “Really, I have my suspicions, I mean, those two best friends of yours are completely transparent, but I haven’t gotten either one of them to tell me anything definite.”

 

Hermione gave a small, frustrated sigh. “Those two are so stubborn. But I don’t know what I was expecting. They are boys, after all.”

 

“You should have more girl friends,” Pansy pondered. The only girl that Hermione seemed to be friends with so far was Ron’s little sister, Ginny. And that was only by association, she suspected.

 

“You should talk!” Hermione exclaimed. “All you have are boys following after you day after day after day… I can’t lose them!”

 

Pansy sighed and leaned against the door. “Maybe we should just both turn in our resignations and transfer to another school. An all girls’ school. Do you know how less complicated that would make everything?”

 

“No kidding,” Hermione agreed as she walked over towards the secret door on the left side of the room. “Hey, Pansy…” she said slowly. “Since we’re here together, we might as well check on the potion.”

 

“Good idea,” Pansy said, and followed Hermione into the secret room.

_______________________________________________________________________

 

After checking on the potion, Hermione no longer felt like sitting down to a long night of homework. Instead, she said a quick goodbye to Pansy and then headed up the stairs and out a side door of the castle. A nice long walk around the lake would be a nice break from the tension inside the Slytherin dungeons, and she really needed the fresh air.

 

 

As she pushed the door open, a cool gust of air hit her face, and then her arms and legs as she stepped out into the cold air. Quickly wrapping Pansy’s cloak around herself, she walked over the yellowing grass and down the hill until she had reached the edge of the lake. The sun was a good distance from setting, so she figured if she walked quickly she could make it back before it was completely dark.

 

She was halfway around the lake and picking up her pace as the sun quickly slipped further down the sky when she saw a dark figure sitting on a bench. A little hesitant, she slowed down, squinting her eyes and trying to make out a face. But the sun was behind the bench, and whoever he was, was completely in silhouette.

 

As she stepped closer to the bench, the fear rose in her chest. That was until he turned to look at her and just the right amount of sun hit his face.

 

It was Harry!

 

When their eyes met, Harry quickly looked away from her. Hermione didn’t know if she should say something to him, or just walk by without a word. If she said something, would he become suspicious of everything that was going on? Or would he think that perhaps Pansy was just being nice to him for a change?

 

She decided not to take a chance, and just kept on walking as she passed him.

 

“Wait,” Harry said quietly, and she stopped in her tracks. “What are you doing here, walking around the lake all by yourself? It’s almost dark.”

 

Hermione turned around, her heart beating rapidly. “I can take care of myself,” she said, looking back into his green eyes. “Don’t worry about me.”

 

Harry shrugged, standing up from the bench himself. “I’m going back,” he announced, which seemed odd to Hermione. “You can walk back with me if you want.”

 

And Hermione missed being his friend so much, that she waited for him to step up to her and they both walked down the lake path together. She wanted to tell him about everything that had occurred in the past few days, and let him talk about what he had been up to, and how much he and Ron had missed her…

 

But the truth was, they didn’t miss her. They still had her because of Pansy. It was such a strange situation, and once again, Hermione felt like crying because of it all.

 

As they rounded the lake, she finally worked up the courage to talk to him as Pansy would. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

 

“It’s been a rough day,” he said, putting his hands into the pockets of his robes. “I just don’t have the energy for anything else.”

 

“Oh,” she said, still wanting to say so much more. “I really would have been fine walking on my own, though. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

“Whatever,” Harry mumbled.

 

The rest of the walk back to the castle was silent, but not at all awkward for Hermione. Just walking by his side was enough to fill the hole within her. She felt a little more reconnected to her friend, especially after the past few days.

 

Although, as she watched him walk up the stairs and back to the Gryffindor Tower, part of her felt cheated; like what she had been missing was just out of her reach. She sighed, and walked back to the Slytherin dungeons in hopes of avoiding everyone so that she could get started on her homework.

_____________________________________________________________________

 

Harry arrived back in the Gryffindor Common Room around seven o’clock that evening to find Hermione sitting in a chair, reading a book, and jotting down notes into a notebook.

 

 

“There you are,” he said, walking over to her and sitting down at the end of the couch. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

 

She looked up from her book. “Oh? You need me for something?”

 

Harry leaned up against the arm of the couch and propped his chin up on the palm of his hand. It hurt a little bit for Hermione to think that the only reason Harry would be looking for her was because he needed her for something. “No,” he said, looking away from her face and into the fire. “I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

 

Hermione finally put her books down and really looked at him. “What is it?”

 

He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves, but it didn’t really seem to be working.“Hermione,” he finally said, his voice soft. “Ron and I have been talking lately…”

 

“That’s great!” she suddenly grinned. “I was convinced that the two of you weren’t getting along very well. But I’m glad to see that you’ve made up!”

 

“No,” Harry went on, sitting up straight. “That’s not really what we were talking about. I mean, yeah, we’re getting along okay, I guess,” he muttered. “But we were talking about you.”

 

Hermione’s eyes widened. “Me?”

 

“Yeah… it’s just that… that you’ve been a little… different lately. And we can’t really figure out what’s going on, so instead of just talking about it behind your back I wanted to talk to you directly.”

 

Hermione looked nervous all of a sudden, and her cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink. “What do you mean…” she said, “…different?”

 

Harry felt the tension go up in the room. He felt a little panicked and started to wonder if maybe he shouldn’t have even brought the subject up with her. “I know you’ve denied it before,” he went on, “but it really seems like there’s something going on with you. And I’m your friend,” he added. “I would hope that if something is bothering you, that you would trust me enough to share it with me.”

 

She tapped the end of her quill on the arm of the chair thoughtfully. “Hmm, well, that’s strange, Harry, because it seems like just a few days ago, I was saying the same thing to you. And you insisted that you couldn’t tell me. Let’s see… how is this situation similar?”

 

Harry felt his face turn red. She was right. During Quidditch tryouts it had been Hermione asking him if something was wrong. And he had completely brushed her aside, assuring her that everything was okay, and she didn’t need to concern herself over his personal matters.

 

And now he knew how she felt.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, looking down at his hands. “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said anything.” He stood up, and without meeting her gaze, began walking back towards the boys’ dormitories. He had just reached the first stair when he felt her fingers wrapping around his arm.

 

“Wait,” she said. “You can’t just walk away from me like that!”

 

He turned around to look into her flashing eyes as he fought the tears in his own. He felt ashamed and stupid… and worst of all, he felt like he had let her down. How in the hell had this happened?

 

“I’m not mad,” Hermione said. “So you don’t have to look at me like that.”

 

“How am I supposed to look?” he demanded, pulling his arm away from her grasp and stepping up another step to keep some distance between them. “I just asked you the same question that you asked me before. And I tried to make you feel guilty for not telling me what’s going on in your life. And you’re not mad?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. “Hermione, I’m a horrible friend!”

 

She stepped up onto the first step, surprising him so much that he clutched the railing behind himself. “You’re not,” she assured him. “Do you know how many horrible friends I’ve had before? I’ve most certainly had enough to know that you’re not one of them. So you made a mistake, and yeah, maybe you weren’t thinking clearly… but who cares? You have my best interests in mind, don’t you?”

 

Harry felt like his voice was caught in his throat. He tried to say something, but nothing came out.

 

They stood there staring at each other for a very long moment, until Harry just couldn’t take it another second. He slipped his arms around her waist, and pulled her close, leaning down to plant a heavy kiss directly onto her lips.

 

It didn’t last all that long, but to Harry, it seemed like a slow motion eternity until she pulled away from him, breathing heavily. Harry’s blood pressure rose, and a silent alarm went off in his head. This was not something that he was supposed to do.

 

“I am really sorry, Hermione,” he sputtered out, releasing her from his grasp and turning around so quickly to run up the stairs that she didn’t even have a chance to respond.

______________________________________________________________________

Pansy stood at the bottom of the staircase that led to the boys’ dormitories with her hand on her chest, still trying to catch her breath. She had never wondered what Harry Potter’s kiss tasted like before, but at that second, when she could still taste his lips on her own, she wondered what it would be like if the kiss had lasted a little bit longer.

______________________________________________________________________

Harry slammed the door to his room and tried to calm himself down by breathing slowly and deeply. He leaned against the door and closed his eyes, trying to drown out the constant replay of the previous events in his mind, but nothing worked. 

“Everything alright, Harry?” Neville’s voice interrupted his thoughts, and Harry’s eyes flew open.

 

“No,” he said honestly, the calm tone of his voice surprising him. “Everything is not alright.”

 

Neville was sitting on his bed, reading one of his text books. He stared at Harry for a moment.“Anything you want to talk about?” he finally asked.

 

“No,” Harry said simply, willing his legs to work so they would take him to his bed.

 

Neville looked worried but didn’t say another word. When Harry finally got to his bed, he pulled the curtains and threw himself into his pillow. He spent the next hour staring at the maroon fabric that surrounded him and trying to figure out ways to undo what he had done.

_______________________________________________________________________

Thursday morning came around much quicker than Hermione was planning for. She had fallen asleep around eleven the night before, and she still had about an hour of homework left to do. She rolled out of bed around six o’clock that morning and hurriedly finished up the final assignment so she could deliver it to Pansy after breakfast.

 

 

When she exited her room and walked around to the Slytherin Common Room, she saw Draco and his friends sitting around the warm fireplace, waiting for her arrival. Crabbe and Goyle jumped up excitedly, probably starving after a whole night of not eating, while Draco and Blaise slowly rose from their seats.

 

“There you are,” Draco said, taking her hand the moment she was close enough that he could reach out for it. “We’ve been waiting for you for ten whole minutes.”

 

“Ten horrible minutes!” Goyle groaned. He and Crabbe were already waiting for everyone at the door.

 

Draco pulled her to the door before she had a chance to object.

 

“I had a lot of homework,” she said. “So I was finishing things up this morning.”

 

“You know, Pans,” Draco said as the five of them walked down the dungeon halls. “You seem a lot more studious lately. You’ll have to make sure some of that brushes off on me soon. My motivation for school stuff is just killing me lately. Father is starting to get suspicious…”

 

Hermione had to stop herself from shuddering at the mention of Draco’s father. He was positively the most evil man, save Voldemort, that she had ever come in contact with. “I’m sorry, Draco,” she said, after she pushed the thought of his father out of her mind. “But you’ll just have to find your motivation on your own.” She let go of his hand and moved to the front of the group. Draco being so touchy-feely was starting to unnerve her.

_______________________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Pansy hadn’t slept a wink that night. She was too busy berating herself over her thoughts of Harry Potter. It was absolutely disgusting, really. She might as well have herself committed for going insane. It was that bad.

 

 

She crept out of bed extra early that morning and exited the Gryffindor Common Room before anyone could stop her. She decided she’d get breakfast early, without Harry and Ron by her side, and then sneak away to the library and work a little on her assignments before Hermione showed up at seven thirty.

 

Unluckily for Pansy, Ron must have had the same idea, because he was already sitting at the very end of the table when she arrived at the Great Hall.

 

“Hey,” she said in a sleepy voice, plopping down in the seat next to him and throwing her backpack underneath the bench. “You’re here early.”

 

“So are you,” Ron mumbled before taking a large gulp of orange juice. “What’s up?”

 

Pansy piled toast and strips of bacon onto her plate. She figured after how this morning was going to go, she wouldn’t have any appetite at all when it came to lunch. “Just sleepy,” she said to Ron before biting off the end of a piece of bacon. “I couldn’t sleep so I came here early. What about you?”

 

“Same,” Ron replied. “It’s going to be a long day.”

 

“You’re telling me,” she mumbled through a mouthful of bacon. If she was going to get out of the Great Hall before Harry arrived, she would have to eat quickly.

_________________________________________________________________________

Hermione had just arrived to their corner in the library, but, she noticed, Pansy was well settled there already. Pansy was sitting in the chair next to the window, and she had stacks of books and pieces of parchment spread out over the whole table. Hermione set her books down beside a chair and sat down quietly.

 

 

“Behind on some things?” she asked, watching as Pansy scribbled something onto a piece of parchment.

 

“I guess you could say that,” Pansy replied, not bothering to look up. “I’m almost done here,” she said after a moment. “Do you mind just waiting for a few minutes?”

 

“Oh, sure,” Hermione agreed. “I have some things I could look over as well.” She reached down into her bag and pulled out her Potions text book. Professor Snape had a bad habit of giving pop quizzes.

 

After a few moments, Pansy began packing up her things. She set a pile of her homework in front of Hermione and then stood up. Hermione looked up at her.

 

“Is something wrong?” Hermione wanted to know. “You seem a little… quiet.”

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” Pansy said quickly as she brushed her hair behind her ear. “I’ve just had a lot of homework. I didn’t have much time to sleep last night.”

 

Hermione noticed the slight darkness beneath her eyes, but shrugged and picked up the stack of homework. She put it into her bag and then handed Pansy her own homework. “They have been giving out a lot of homework lately, haven’t they?” she said. “I hope they let up on us a little before Christmas break.”

 

“Yeah,” Pansy agreed, her voice quiet. “Me, too.”

 

“Hey,” Hermione said as the two of them zipped their backpacks closed. “Have you found out what was going on with Harry and Ron? We haven’t talked about that for awhile.”

 

Pansy shook her head. “No, both of them are so stubborn. I haven’t been able to get a word out of them. Ginny has even tried to help me. I haven’t heard back on that, though.”

 

“Oh,” Hermione said, sighing softly. She was hoping for some sort of answer. After her late night walk with Harry last night, she was just dying to know what was going on. “Well, maybe one of them will give it up soon. How long could they keep a secret that’s obviously bugging them so much? It’ll be eating them up inside.”

 

“Yeah,” Pansy shrugged, and then lifted her backpack over her shoulders. “I guess. Well, see you in class.”

 

Hermione stood and watched her walk away. Class didn’t start for another twenty minutes.

_______________________________________________________________________

Harry had skipped breakfast that morning. He had thought about his actions all night and decided it was best to just not discuss anything regarding the kiss because that would bring up reasons… like why he had done it, and he had no idea how he would squirm his way out of that one.

 

 

Instead of breakfast, he went hungry. He stayed in bed until he was sure Ron and his other roommates had left, and then spent the rest of the early morning pushing his problems out of his mind and studying for his classes that day. He was most nervous about getting his Transfiguration essay back. He had been so preoccupied lately, he had put it off till the last second and by then it was too late to really spend time on the essay. Well, that and the fact that Professor McGonagall was a really tough grader.

 

Just before class started, he shoved his books into his backpack, changed into his school clothes and then left the room, slamming the door behind him.

 

By the time he arrived in the Transfiguration classroom, Ron and Hermione were already sitting in their seats at the front of the room, and Professor McGonagall gave him a look that clearly meant he had just made it under the wire.

 

Perfect.

 

He slipped into his seat next to Ron and at the end of the isle and pulled his transfiguration text book out of his bag. Class went on as usual, and even though Hermione was only sitting one seat away from him, he didn’t have to say one word to her.

 

Not yet, anyway.