Why?: Chapter 1

Why?

My path had been easy, holding your hand,
As you helped me along....
But you left, and I was shoved onto
another, harder path,
Narrow and Dangerous,
Lonely and scary, and
I can't go back.
I travelled this path, alone,
Pretending that,
everything was ok,
(But it's not)
The day of your death
had been so hard,
But the same day,
A year later, came,
and I didn't notice,
(Did I forget you)
Another six months passed,
and your birthday,
Once again,
(I don't think I could do it.)
The cliff, that I tried to
climb, Hoping you'd be at the top,,
(But you weren't)
I couldn't hold on to the edge
(so I let go)
And I fell, landing in a hole,
(My pain)
Reaching out a hand
(For no one to grab)
that others overlooked,
(That they didn't see through my mask)
I'm still sinking,
in that deep dark hole,
(Of my hate?)
I swim,
(But I sink)
I Cry
(But I laugh)
I hate it
(But I love it)
I want out,
(but I want to stay)
I care,
(But I don't)
Am I sick?
(Yes)
Am I crazy.
(Some say)
Why can't I get over this?
(Because I don't want to.)
Won't someone care?
(Who would?)
But I care,
I see the light,
Your light
Your love....
My loss....
It's gone...
and Done