I'm Still Me: Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Sunday Evening

Sarah puttered around downstairs before going up to her room that she used to share with Tom and laying down to try to take a nap. She was fairly sure she wouldn’t sleep, but the day’s events had tired her and she hoped she would. Luckily for her, she was more tired then she thought she was and passed quickly into the oblivion of sleep.

Kasey wandered upstairs back into her room. She really didn’t want to socialize with her mother and knew that she wouldn’t be allowed to leave. She stood in the middle of her room, absorbing the abandoned feeling for a minute or two, before she drifted over to her bed and sat down. Thinking about what had happened that day, she pulled out her journal and opened it to where she had left off. She tried to smooth out the crease in the paper from where it had fallen and gotten folded. It read:

Dear Journal,

I didn’t get to eat all of my Malt O’Meal this morning. Mom brought up the past again and I lost my appetite. I hate it when that happens. You really can’t eat reheated Malt O’Meal, cause it gets really nasty. Anyway, we’re at Nainy’s again, as usual. Nainy seems to be having one of her good days. She’s still a little fuzzy about everything though. She was appalled at my clothes. >.< I’m just wearing my Godzilla shirt and a skirt with leggings. Nothing that extreme. Well, maybe it was the boots. I’m wearing my combat boots. At least it’s not extreme to me since everyone wears it nowadays… Ow. Nainy just asked where dad was again. -sigh- Besides the fact that she’s really boring, I hate it when she asks where Dad is and Mom has to tell her that they broke up again. It sucks. You know, sometimes I wish I didn’t have to come with Mom every Sunday. I wish I could just do it every other Sunday or something. Oh well though, nothing I can do about it.

Joy. Mom just got a call from a client. Now I have to baby-sit Nainy. I hope she just goes fuzzy and hums to herself like usual, that way I don’t really have to deal with her. Ugh, guess not. She’s actually talking to me and asking questions and stuff. She says I’m a lot like my grandfather. What does she know.

Kasey winced as she read over her own words and picked up her pen to continue the entry.

Sorry about that Journal. I’m home now. Things at Nainy’s got… interesting. Nainy started telling me about my grandfather Damien. She said I should talk to my mom more because she might understand what I’m going through because Grandfather Damien shot himself when mom was like, eight. And yeah, it really sucks that he shot himself in front of his family, but it’s still different than what I’m going through! Grandfather Damien didn’t leave on purpose. My dad did. Anyway, Nainy was doing pretty good for awhile, then she started telling me what happened and she started having one of her bad spells and accidentally got caught up in her own story. I don’t really know what happened, but I think she kinda like… relived it or something. Anyway, it was really bad. She started like, crying and rocking and was really upset. Thank God mom came back when she did. I don’t know what I would have done.

I’m kinda embarrassed to admit this Journal, but I trust you. Nainy’s story really got to me. It’s crazy! Why should I care about how some guy died thirty years ago? Maybe it was the way she was telling it. I don’t know. But afterwards, I went to the restroom and got sick. Yeah. Stupid huh? I don’t know why, but I did. After that though, when mom had gotten Nainy calmed down and I was picking up my stuff, Nainy told me to remember my grandfather Damien. And I told her I will. Honestly Journal, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget. But that doesn’t mean I care or anything. It was just intense.

Anyway, I asked mom why she hadn’t told me before, while we were driving home and she just said that it was hard for her and stuff. Which, I guess I can understand, but still! You’d think that would be something you’d at least tell your family about.

It was an intense day but I’ll get over it. I’m gonna read or do my homework now. Shocking I know, but now that everything is gone from my room, reading and homework is about all I CAN do. Night.

~Kasey

Kasey put away her journal and it’s pen. She walked over to her desk, pulled out her homework, and sat there working on it for most of the rest of the day. Sarah didn’t make dinner, she didn’t have the will nor the appetite. She spent most of the rest of the day in her room looking over old scrapbooks from when she was a kid.

When Kasey got hungry, Kasey raided the fridge for leftovers. She ate the rest of her Malt O’Meal from that morning and a turkey sandwich before returning to her room where she finished her homework for the first time in a long time then read a book until she got tired and went to bed.